Page 146 of Forbidden You

I’m just as much of a coward. I should’ve pressed charges. Confessed to someone in my class. Anything to stick up for myself. But instead, I ran home like a little girl.

Maybe, Bodi is right. Maybe I really am too young for him.

“Ah, babe.” Julie gets up, taking me in a tight hug. “I’m proud of you. That must have been so hard for you.” I can sense her pride when her arms enclaps me even more, overwhelming me, and I bury my face against her shoulder, fully pouring out my emotion for the first time since I left California. She rubs a hand over my face, soothing me with the other as she rubs my back, and we just stand like that for I don’t know how long.

When finally, a small spring breeze brings the rest of my senses to life, I glance over at Rae and Jensen, who are staring at me with troubled faces.

“I’m so sorry, Keeks,” Rae whispers, tears pouring at the edges of her eyes.

I let go of Julie and Rae flies into my arms.

“I’m so, so, sorry. Why didn’t you tell me?” I want to tell her I was ashamed, but it’s like she reads my mind. “You don’t have to be ashamed, sweetie. It’s not your fault. You deserve so much better than that douchebag.”

Jensen’s bulky arms enclose the both of us, I bring my gaze up to his furious expression.

“I’m going to kill that motherfucker if I ever see him near you again,” he mumbles like a big brother with a clenched jaw that would make many men flinch, and I chuckle through my tears.

“Bodi already did. Almost broke his arm in the process. I’m pretty sure Trent got the message.”

“You deserve the world, Keeks,” Rae whispers in my ear.

“I know.”

I know that now. Bodi showed me that. But what if the world I want isn’t in my grasp anymore? What if my heart will never want anything other than Bodi McKay?

Rae lets loose at the same time Jensen’s phone rings in his pocket, and we all watch as he answers it with a scowl on his face.

“Yeah?” He sounds aggravated, my curiosity already getting the best of me.

The blood leaves his face each moment passed and my heart squeezes.

I know who’s on the line.

I also know what he’s saying.

I don’t know why, but goosebumps shower my skin, and I just fucking know.

I grasp my heart before Jensen hangs up, tears welling my eyes once again. And when he hangs up, his gaze wide, shocked, and confused, I wait for him to tell me the words I suspect, before I let them pull me down once more.

“Terry McKay died.”

39

For most of my life, I’ve been in control of my life, my mind, and my body.

I know what to eat to stay fit. I know how to function to keep my mind sharp. I know how to run my business. But for the last six days, I don’t know shit.

My mind has been living in this constant fog and every muscle in my body feels numb. When I walked down the street this morning, I wondered if I would feel anything if I got hit by a car, because after my dad died, my senses seem to have died with him.

I blow out a raspberry, looking at the line of people who are here to pay their respects for my father while I stand next to his casket like a fucking zombie. My hands stay folded in front of my body, my gaze vacant as I let my thoughts drift me away. The ceremony was nice, or so I have been told about six times now.

I didn’t listen to a thing. I just stared at the stand, failing at registering a word everyone was saying.

I close my eyes when someone comes to stand beside me, slamming his hand on my back in a friendly gesture. I don’t have to look to know who it is.

“Thank you for being here.” The sentence just rolls out of my mouth on auto pilot, because Jensen, Jason and Hunter have been staying with me for the past week.

They helped me out wherever they could, and as much I’m sure they wanted to talk about more than just my dad, they haven’t brought up Kayla once.

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