Page 129 of Forbidden You

“We never really know. But I’d say weeks. Tops.”

I nod. “I understand.”

The walls of his cramped office feel like they are about to swallow me whole and I quickly get up, desperate to get the hell out of here.

He tilts his head in surprise at my sudden move, before reluctantly taking the hand I’m reaching out.

“Thank you for informing me, doctor.”

Like I’m haunted by the devil, I dart out of the room, my cheeks flushed from the lack of air. I carry myself out of the building on autopilot, completely lost in my own thoughts, until the sun hits me in the face and I suck in a deep breath.

It feels like my head merges from under the water and I close my eyes to focus on my breathing to get it back together. But when my cheeks become stained with tears, I’m not sure if I’ll ever get it back together.

I don’t remember walking out of Peartree Park, getting into my car or even driving home, but the smell of Kayla’s rosy scent seems to bring me back to life for a bit when I amble through my front door.

Kayla’s face lights up when she sees me before it falls with worry.

Fuck, I need her.

“Are you okay?” She places the manuscript in her hands on the table, getting up to walk toward me. I meet her halfway, slamming my body against hers in a tight grip. My knees grow weak when her hands softly slide up and down my spine, comforting me as she waits for me to say something. Anything.

I press a kiss to her temple.

“What did the doctor say?” Her blue eyes search for something on my face, and I breathe in while my lips curl into a pitiful smile.

I can’t. I can’t tell her all the shit I have to prepare for, because I’m not ready to make it real.

“Nothing we didn’t already know.” Her brows knit together, and I rub my thumb over one, trying to erase the crease of her frown. “Don’t worry about it, baby. He just wanted to give me a heads up. Tell me my father is moving into the final stage.”

Not a lie.

I’m amazed at how easily the words leave my lips, cutting me deep inside my soul.

“I’m sorry, Bodi,” she tells me, her arms still linked around my back.

“Don’t be, baby. I’m fine.” I hate myself for lying to her. I want to tell her the truth. To tell her that I’m falling apart, my heart being sliced into a thousand pieces, but the only thing that’s preventing me from collapsing in agony is the fact that she’s in my arms. The fact that she’s still looking at me like I mean the world to her and, right now, that’s what I need. To be someone’s world. To not feel as small as I feel deep down. To make myself believe I’m not alone, because soon I will be.

“Do you need anything?” she asks.

“Yes. You.” I’m dying to be inside of her, to feel her body wrapped around mine in comfort.

I easily lift her up, putting her legs around my waist before I carry her toward my bedroom. She’s staring at me with her eyes slightly narrowed, holding my head in her hands.

“Are you sure?”

I want to tell her I’m not sure about anything right now. That life as I know it will change and that I need her to make me forget all about it.

My mind wants to feel lost from all responsibility, letting go of all my fears, and she is the only remedy against it. She is the only one who can make me forget whatever shit is going on in life.

“Just give me you,” I huff against her lips as I lay her down on my mattress. “Give me you and everything will be alright.”

She smiles. “You already have me, Bodi.”

I know. If only I could keep you.

34

“You look like shit, buddy.” Jason clinks his shot against mine, and we both pour the burning contents down our throat. The taste is bitter, scrunching my eyebrows together, but fuck that.I need it.

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