Page 116 of Forbidden You

“What do you mean, hedeclined?” I parrot, ridicule etching through my tone. I don’t like to be thought of as something you can accept or decline.

“He refused to let you stay with anyone else. He said you were going to stay with him until you found your own place. Jensen told me.”

I swallow roughly, my mouth turning dry by this new piece of information. For a moment, I’m speechless, not sure what to think. I could’ve stayed somewhere else, but Bodi didn’t want me to leave? Does this mean he doesn’t want me to leave at all?

“He never asked me to get my own place. Not even once.” All three of them look at me with expressions that speak volumes. “That first week I was meaning to ask him to help me find some places to check out, but I never did and he never brought it up. I let it go because I like living with him. I know it’s silly because he’s not my boyfriend, but it’s nice to pretend.” I avert my gaze, unable to look at their hopeful faces. “I feel safe with him around. Cherished.”

Julie snorts. “And you think that’s not mutual? Have you seen the way he looks at you? You can tell me anything you want, but I ain’t buying that.”

“Maybe you’re not the only one who wants a little more, Keeks,” Rae adds, leaving me dumbfounded and confused.

I want to believe them, but my fear is not letting me take the plunge, holding my heart back as much as I can. But that bitch is squirming in my hands, ready to dive in head first.

“Yeah, maybe.”

29

This right here is why I’m fucked.

Kayla is wrapped in my arms as we lie on the couch, half her body on top of me. We just finished breakfast and we’re watching one of her silly reality shows.

I’m not normally a cuddler, or maybe I’ve never found anyone I want to cuddle with. But just holding her against my chest with my lips sitting on her hair, I’m wondering if I am. I’m completely content lying here with her close.

I can’t believe everything she has done for me in the last few weeks. She bent over backwards to get my father at the fundraiser, something I didn’t even consider a possibility anymore, and after that, she threw me a surprise party.

We agreed on friends, and we are. She’s my best friend. I can’t imagine her not being there when I wake up and I can’t imagine not asking her what she wants to eat for dinner. But after my birthday, I’m not sure if that’s enough.

If it will continue to be enough, not for her, but for me.

If I can settle with friendship, but I also know the boys were right.

What if one day, she runs into a nice guy who asks her out on a date? Can I accept that? Can I handle that? A primal instinct in me shoutsnoevery time these questions flash through my head.

I’d be jealous as fuck, and I know that says something. You don’t get jealous of your friends; you wish them well. You wish them the world.

I don’t wish Kayla the world if I’m not part of it. I’m becoming more and more selfish about this woman. I don’t think I can be her friend if another man lies on the other side of her bed. I know it’s fucked up, but I can no longer deny it to myself. If I can’t have her, I’m petty enough to say I don’t want anyone to have her.

She’s mine.

“Let’s get out of here.”

“What do you mean?” She looks up at me, her big blue eyes all big and adorable.

“Let’s go do something fun.” I run my thumb along her soft jaw.

“Like what?”

“I have an idea.” A mischievous smile forms on my lips.

“What?” she presses, pushing her palm against my chest with urgency, and I chuckle. I love seeing her squirm when her curiosity doesn’t get filled right away.

It’s my way of torturing her without tying her up and having my way with her.

But, damn, that’s a thought.

“You’ll see. Come on. Get dressed.” I slap her butt, hurdling her off my body, and she reluctantly gets up with a frown on her pretty face.

“You’re being cryptic. It scares me.” Her arms fold in front of her body while I carry my feet toward my bedroom.

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