Page 181 of His Pretty Little Duet

I want Clay.

My mind is drowning in blame.

Xander…

He's gone.Taken. I dart my gaze to Cassidy, who is staring heartbrokenly out of the plane's port-like window while an exhausted little Kelly lies in her lap. Cassidy combs her daughter's golden hair with her fingers.

Then I look at Shoshanna. She is rocking the bassinet in front of her with her red sneakers—easily removable footwear—while punching buttons on her phone, concentration furrowing her brows.

What must they think of me?

Sorry.

Sorry. It's a word I don't say often anymore because Clay despises the way it slips from me unbidden. But today, Iamto blame.

I'm so sorry.

God, I'm so sorry, Clay.

He was so busy protecting me…

He'll regret that one day.

Regret me.

When we land, there is a car waiting for each of us, and I separate from Cassidy and Shoshanna without a goodbye. Striding away from them with hardly an upwards glance, I'm unable to bear their feigned expressions that hide screams of accusation. My presence is like a nail in Xander's coffin.

Does my dad want me?

It was meant to be me.

Xander…

He was the one who taught me good things come in three— Where the hell are his? I try to breathe, to fight the boiling heat in my eyes, as I slide into the backseat with HJ. The door closes on us.

Twisting my hair around my finger, I swallow around the rising bile in my throat. I'm sick with grief that knots and twists inside me. That renders guilt and self-blame to my very marrow, to my core. To the parts of me that wanted to believe in Xander's advice.

There is no sequence of good things, Xander.

Only bad. This is number one.

Xander: Number one.

Gazing out of the window at this city, I watch the blissfully ignorant citizens filter the walkways of Connolly under the early morning sun. The separation between me and them, a thin pane of tinted glass, a soundproof and bulletproof partition—and knowledge.

At the house, I climb out of the car. Under the constant cover of guards, I rush inside, needing Clay so I can ask, 'What now?Are they still taking the compound? Are they waiting? What did my dad say he wanted?'

I'm halted by Clay's voice, the sound of him so in control easing me slightly, needing that infallible assurance he is going to take care of this. He's going to get Xander back. He'll fix everything.

Within the room, I hear another voice, too. His brothers’—I can't tell which one.

I wander slowly to the closed door of Clay's office, leaning my shoulder against the wood and bating my breath. But soon, Carter and HJ appear beside me, and I glance guiltily at my feet, having been caught eavesdropping.

Carter only indicates for me to slide to the side so he can enter while HJ stands across the room, eyeing me.

"He knows you are home, Miss Harlow. No need to hide," Carter advises as he walks into the office. Even so, I tuck behind the wall until the door closes again. Then I ignore HJ's uncertain stare and press my ear to the wood.

"Good. Carter is here." Clay's voice nestles into my soul. "Iseveryoneback safely? And where they should be?"

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