Page 5 of The Fake Family Deal

“My name is Marina,” she says, straightening herself up like she just remembered she’s meant to be giving a good impression.

“Sit,” I say, gesturing loosely at the chair in front of me. She doubles her effort to smile and takes her seat.

“All right. So, what was your last position?” I ask, staring hard at her. I’ll confess, I am trying to unsettle her a little, but I want to see how she acts under pressure. My PA will have a lot ofduties, and I need someone with a level head, even when there’s a deadline or a lot to do. Or a guy who’s well-known for being difficult giving you a dirty look.

“I was a personal assistant to the CEO of Seattle East Bank.”

“Tell me more.”

She’s not revealing herself to be totally underqualified yet, but we’re less than five minutes into this interview. Anything could change.

“I was in charge of Mr. Foster’s day-to-day planning. I ran any errands that needed doing, and I sat with him in every meeting to take notes. I was in charge of making sure all the websites and the social media channels were up to date or being updated by people who knew what they were doing. Any task Mr. Foster needed done, I was there to either do or to delegate.”

“So, you would choose to delegate over just doing something yourself,” I sniff, unimpressed.

“Yes,” she says, shuffling uncomfortably. “I would delegate if the situation required it — if I was too busy with other issues, or didn’t have the required skill set to adequately perform a task.”

“Isn’t the point of a personal assistant that you have the adequate skill set to perform any task?” I raise both eyebrows. Marina’s mouth wobbles as she tries to think of a comeback for me. I guess it’s almost impressive that she’s refusing to back down, but more than anything I can’t wait for her to leave. Just another candidate down the drain.

There’s a drawn-out moment of silence as she thinks, and Priscilla and I share a look out of the corners of our eyes.

Eventually Marina remembers that she’s supposed to be speaking. “I have an excellent ability to perform almost any administrative task in an office setting, as well as manage a small team and make sure everything is done within a good timeframe and up to perfect standards. However, there were also occasions where Mr. Foster called for things to be done that were above and beyond any duties I was supposed to have. In those circumstances, yes, I would delegate. And I don’t feel ashamed about doing so.”

My eyebrows raise even higher. This woman’s got a lot of fight in her. From the look of her, I would have expected her to be meek and accommodating. Looks like she might actually have something going on in there, after all.

Still, her answer wasn’t perfect. I agree that if you don’t have the skills, you shouldn’t do the job. But I would never have admitted to not doing my job so quickly.

“Okay, moving on,” I say, noticing the way she crumples as I do. She’s right to think that that wasn’t the right answer, but it’s not great of her to show me that she thinks so too. I think we’re just going to have to get through the rest of this interview quickly so everyone can go to lunch.

It’s Thursday, so that means pasta in the cafeteria today. One of the things I’m famous for is having a fully subsidized cafeteria in which my employees can get lunch. Everyone might think I’m an asshole, and I might be, but the best way to attract real talent and make employees want to be here is to pay them a great wage and to give them great benefits.

I’m not stupid. I’m already rich enough that losing profits means barely anything to me. When you’re a billionaire, nothing means a thing anymore.

Butreputationis something you can’t fake.

Priscilla makes a move to take over the questions, and I basically tune out of the rest of the answers. Everything Marina says is all very run-of-the-mill anyway: “I am an excellent candidate for this job because I’m nice and smart and blah, blah, blah…”

One day someone will do something that willreallyimpress me, but today is not that day.

I glance at the wall clock. Ugh. Every candidate has the right to at least twenty minutes with us, and somehow only five have passed. This is painful.

Why did I agree to do this? I am never, ever sitting in on interviews again. I’d rather go through a hundred PAs than have to do this again.

Unfortunately for me, Priscilla believes in fairness and giving everyone a chance. Which I guess is fortunate on a business front, but it’s absolute hell on me for having to sit here listening to this.

And from the look on Marina’s face, she’s pretty ready to escape all this, too. I guess we’ve gone and wasted everyone’s time.

No. I am not sitting in on interviews ever, ever again.

CHAPTER 4

MARINA

“I’m sorry, could you repeat the question?” I stammer.

One of the women gives me a pitying look, then slowly asks again. “I asked if you could think of a time that you had to correct a mistake that you made. What did you do to put it right?”

“Um…” I say, my mind blanking again.

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