Page 28 of The Fake Family Deal

All her friends turn to look, and one of them whispers loudly, “Oh my God! Who’s that he’s with?”

I tense again, pretending I haven’t seen them, and, almost like a reflex, I reach out to grab Ellis’s hand. It’s big and warm, and he squeezes mine in return. It’s almost enough to make me feel safe.

The women gossip the whole time as we pass them. It’s impossible to tell if they know we can hear them or not, but if they do, they’re utterly shameless as they speculate on Ellis’s dating life and make judgments on me. He seems not to hear them at all, not reacting or flinching like I am, but I can feel the tension he’s carrying.

He might act like an ass, but he is human too.

We march quickly past them, but it’s not until we’re out of earshot and we breathe out and slow down that I realize he hasn’t let go of my hand.

A warm rush floods down my arm. It’s been a long time since I held anyone’s hand, and Ellis’s slots into mine like it was always meant to.

The uncomfortable feeling of affection rises in me again, and I try my best to stamp it out. It’s not fully working.

I can’t ignore the thought anymore, the one that’s been bubbling up inside me all week. It hits me square in the chest. I’m going to miss this when it’s over, despite everything.

What a stupid thought to have.

I haven’t enjoyed the acting or the cameras or the work in any way, and I hate the knowledge that Lila’s about to be brought up under the leering eye of strangers casting their judgments on me and Ellis.

But I can’t deny that it’s been nice to have someone to help with Lila. It’s nice to feel like all the burden has been taken off me for a change.

It’s funny how things happen. How quickly you can see someone one way and then realize that you are completely wrong — almost overnight. How you can grow to like someone you never thought twice about before.

How you can almost grow to love them.

I don’t want to speak anything into existence. It’s already bad enough that I’m feeling some affection towards Ellis. I’ll be damned if it turns into anything else.

At least the camera crew will be getting some useful footage of us today, because we actuallylooklike a real family. Like Lila really could be our baby and we could, in fact, care about each other as we walk hand in hand through the park, chattering inanely.

I have to keep reminding myself what this is for. At the end of the day, I’m doing everything I do for Lila. Nothing else matters.

“I wish she was old enough to go on the swings,” says Ellis out of nowhere. “They’re the best part of the playground.”

I shrug, unable to dispute him. “Yeah,” I concede. “Swings are the best. We can go and see if the baby swing is available.”

“Babies can swing?” he says, blinking in surprise, and I laugh at him again. He bristles, pushing his shoulders back and drawing my gaze to his neck, his sharp, clean-shaven jawline.

“You really are clueless, aren’t you?” I ask with a smile, and before he can answer, I tug on his hand. “Come on. Let’s find the swings.”

We’re in luck when we get there, because there aren’t many other children in the playground. I pick Lila up out of the stroller, and I don’t know who is more excited at the sight of the swings — her or Ellis.

He holds out his hands to take her, and I give Lila to him with a smile. He cradles her to his chest and carries her over. I roll the stroller across to a bench and sit down to watch them.

Ellis carefully places Lila into the swing and gives her a tentative push. She screeches for joy, staring up at him as if to demand he keeps going. And he does.

Like this, it’s easy to see a father and his baby, the sun shining on them, the birds singing in the trees. He is the most relaxed he’s ever seemed, a looseness in his limbs, a gentleness in his touch that is worlds away from the Ellis that everyone thinks they know. This is the Ellis that he lets out, just for me and my daughter.

He’s right. It does make me feel special.

And when he looks up at me, over my daughter’s laughing head as she swings to the sky, and smiles at me…

I want this happiness for him, but most of all, I want it for me too. I want this moment to last forever.

CHAPTER 15

ELLIS

The dark circles under Marina’s eyes are darker than ever, I notice as she starts packing up to leave. We’ve been filming late tonight, and we started early, and Lila isn’t happy. I mean,I’mnot happy, so I can only imagine how unhappy a baby must be.

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