And this isn’t the way Iwantto give it to her. I hate the idea of her growing up and being watched.

As we walk through the park together, I grip the handle of the stroller so hard my knuckles turn white. I’m certain candid photos will be all over social media later, paired with rumors about who I am, where I’ve come from, why we’ve got a baby, when we got together. And I’m sure there will be plenty of people who doubt that this is the truth.

I know it can’t be stopped, and yet I still don’t like the way everyone’s looking at us.

Ellis glances over at me. “You okay?”

“I just don’t like feeling watched,” I mutter, staring down at Lila in the hope that that will make me feel better.

“You get used to it eventually,”

I frown. “Yeah, and you’ve had loads of time to get used to it.”

He shrugs. “You agreed to this.”

“I know. Doesn’t mean I have to like it, though.”

“It’ll be over soon enough,” he says, his words far less reassuring than he thinks they are. “Then you’ll never have to see me ever again. Then the public will forget about you, and you can live just the way you want.”

“It doesn’t work like that,” I mutter.

The issue with TV is that it’s forever. Even years from now, I’m still going to be known as Ellis’s fake wife. I’m always going to be a scandal.

“Hey, you were the one who agreed to be my wife,” he says.

I meet his eye, and, against all my better judgment, the twinkle I find there makes my heart flutter. Despite everything, it’s getting harder to see how my life looks without Ellis. Despite everything, I keep seeing the way he cares, and it’s doing something dangerous to my feelings.

“Just relax,” he says. “There’s no point in worrying about what anyone else thinks. They’ll think it anyway.”

“I guess,” I shrug. “You probably think I’m being stupid, don’t you?”

“No,” he scoffs. “You’re not stupid.”

“Do you think so?” I snap bitterly. The cameras burn as hot as the public’s eyes on the back of my neck, and tears start stinging my eyes. It’s the exhaustion talking, I’m sure of it.

Being sure isn’t making it any easier.

“Hey,” says Ellis, his face softening into that concerned frown that just melts me down. “You really think you’re nothing special, don’t you?”

I don’t reply. There’s no answer I can give.

His frown deepens. I would give anything to know what he was thinking. “Just stop putting yourself down, okay?”

“Okay,” I agree quietly. It’s not a promise I think I can keep.

But he thinks I’m special. And I believe he means it. Does he know what he’s doing to my heart?

I reach into Lila’s stroller, looking away from Ellis to try and change the subject toanythingelse. At least Lila is something I understand. She doesn’t have all the weight of life on her yet. She hasn’t had time to develop self-esteem issues or worry about how she’s going to make it through the week.

She’s still perfect. I wish I could keep her that way forever.

She nestles into my hand, almost like she’s trying to breathe me in, and the feeling of her breath on my skin calms me. I run my thumb over her cheek and smile when she grins, her big, brown eyes gleaming up at me.

We keep walking, the sun shining, the leaves on the trees green and luscious, the gravel on the path crunching cinematically beneath our feet. This day could only get better if it were just the three of us.

The cameras aren’t exactly easy to ignore when they keep poking over our shoulders and getting in our faces.

We turn a corner and head past a couple of women. One of them says, far less quietly than she probably realizes, “Oh my God. That’s Ellis Whitlock — look.”