Page 41 of The Plus-One Deal

“The only reason I’m glad?”

Conrad’s eyes narrowed. He turned my way. “I’m asking you, when I said that, did you think of your deal? Is that what you’ll remember when you look back on this?”

He sounded almost angry, but I knew he wasn’t. I knew him well enough to know he was anxious. He’d gone out on a limb, put his own feelings out there. Now he was waiting, testing my courage. Would I do the same, or would I deny it?

“You know it’s not,” I said, flushing.

“I know it’s not what?”

“I won’t look back on some deal when I’m old and gray. I’ll look back on this. On us. You and me.”

Conrad took my drink away and set it aside. He took hold of my hands and leaned forward, eyes burning. “I want you to be happy. You know that’s true, right?”

“Of course I do. Why wouldn’t you want that?”

“But every time when you call me or I call you, when we meet up for one of our plus-one events, I get this rush of relief when you’re still available. When I ask if you’re seeing anyone and you tell me you’re not. I want you to be happy. I swear I do. But there’s this jealous little part of me that wants you all for myself.” He sat breathing hard, crushing my hands in his.

“I check your socials sometimes,” I confessed. “I tell myself it’s to see that you’re healthy. To make sure you’re remembering to take care of yourself. But you have your own chef. Your personal trainer. I don’t need to check on you except to see you’re still single.”

“So I’m not the lone crazy one?”

I laughed. “No, you’re not.”

Tension crackled between us, sparks in the air. Words never said. Chances not taken. I could have leaned forward and bridged that gap. Kissed all those years away, all those lost moments. But I wanted Conrad to kiss me. To choose me. He’d always been the one holding back, so if our dam was to break, he had to break it.

“I’ve loved our time here,” I said. “Especially the parts that were just you and me. And the parts like on stage, when you?—”

He jerked me forward and kissed me. It was rough at first, harsh, almost angry. His hands came up and plunged into my hair. I felt a brief pain, a tug on my scalp, then Conrad’s kiss softened and he held my head gently. He whispered something I didn’t hear, the gust of his breath soft on my lips. A sharp thrill ran through me, a fierce, bone-deep shiver. I felt hot and cold at the same time, my belly on fire, my skin tight with gooseflesh.

Conrad pulled back, lips red from kissing. “I’ve never looked at you and not wanted to do that.”

“Even that day we got paired up in class?”

“Hell, yeah.”

I gaped at him, breathless. “Even?—”

“Always.” He kissed me again, long, deep, and searching. One hand stole down, possessive, to the small of my back. Held me against him as he plied me with kisses.

“There was one time,” he murmured, when he came up for air. “One time, one night, a few weeks before finals. You had that car,what was it, that beater. It was pouring down rain and you were changing a tire, covered in mud by the side of the road.”

“You stopped to help.”

“I stopped to kiss you.” His hand clenched on my arm, thumb digging in. “I know I didn’t, but I thought it straight off. I saw you crouched there with your hair plastered wet, and all I could think was how gorgeous you looked. I still think of that sometimes, and how your dress clung.”

“Well, you were a gentleman.”

“I won’t be tonight.” He surged in again and I met him halfway. I’d wanted him too, that day in the rain. Longed for him to say to me,want to come back to my place? Come up to my room. I’ll warm you up. When he hadn’t, I’d almost grabbed him myself. Now I had him, I bunched my fists in his shirt. Held him tight by his arms and wouldn’t let go.

“Let’s go inside,” he said, but I hardly heard him. I needed more of him, right here, right now. I climbed into his lap and pinned him down with my knees, unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it down his arms. It caught at his wrists and I pulled it tight, trapping his arms behind him. Trapping him in his seat.

“Mine now. All mine.”

Conrad tested his bonds, then seemed to forget them. He kissed up my jaw, down the side of my neck, along my collarbone. I gasped. Bit my lip. He whispered my name and fresh heat pulsed through me. I’d never wanted anyone or anything with the desperation I wanted him now.

“Inside,” he said again, and jerked himself free. His shirt dangled loosely from one red-chafed wrist. I reached out totouch where the cloth had dug in, but he captured me this time and swept me up in his arms. He stood without effort and carried me with him, his hot, eager lips still exploring my throat. I clung to him, nails biting into his shoulders. He pushed through the screen door and edged down the stairs.

“Don’t drop me.”

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