Page 88 of The Quarterback Sneak

The thought of Zach leaving me behind sends a shiver up my spine.

“Do you want my jacket?” Jamie asks, already pulling it off. I shake my head, not wanting anything from this guy. When the fabric lands on my shoulders, I shrug it off, letting it fall to the seat.

Jamie rolls his crisp white shirt up to his elbows and relaxes his arms against his knees. Not speaking to one another, the sound of the guests ramping up for midnight fills the air. A new year is coming my way, but sadly, as I sit here with Jamie, it feels like my problems are still the same.

“Since you’re not talking, I guess I’ll start speaking and see where we end up.”

“That’s not promising.” He ignores my comment, runs a hand through his hair, and blows out a long, exasperated breath.

“What I did to you was shitty, and I’m sorry.”

Folding my arms, I watch the ripples move across the lake. I refuse to look at him and believe he’s being sincere. He’s only trying to get on my good side because he wants to win that bet.“It was never you I was trying to hurt with my actions. I just wanted to feel something other than compliant.” I can relate.

“Kissing McKenna was more of a fuck you to my father and his grand plan to force us into this weird marriage arrangement that neither of us had a say in. I was screwing up his plan and taking back something that should have been mine and yours to decide. It was my first true act of rebellion, and it felt good.”

I can’t fault him for the honesty, and in a way, I admire him for taking action. I was more than willing to sit by and go along with the plan before Zach approached me. But unfortunately forJamie, I know that’s not the complete truth because there were other girls before McKenna. Zach told me as much, and I believe him because he told me when we were only doing business.

“Is this supposed to make me feel sorry for you? Poor rich boy gets saddled with a rich girl and is forced to live happily ever after?”

“No, of course not. I’m not that stupid to think any attempt at explaining myself will do more than go in one ear and out the other. I’m telling you because I think you can relate. I think that’s why you liked Scholarship Kid so much and why it burned when you found out the truth.”

I click my tongue against my teeth, quickly stand to face Jamie, and poke my finger in his face. “Firstly, don’t you dare ever compare anything I did with Zach to what you did. I was single, and he was interested. Youcheatedon me, embarrassed me in front of the whole school, and smiled at my pain because it upset your daddy.”

He raises his hands but doesn’t dare to look at me. “I know, Honey. I’m sorry. I will never be able to convey to you just how sorry I am.”

“Then why can’t you do the decent thing and leave me alone?” I ask the question to see if he’ll open up about the bet. If he really wanted redemption, he’d tell me the full extent of it, right?

“Come on, Honey. No one knows our lives quite like the other. We’ve grown up together. Your parents are like my second parents, and vice versa. We are it.” He smiles at me like he used to before all this happened. And before, I used to get butterflies in my stomach. I purse my lips and bite my tongue, holding back what I want to say because I don’t have those feelings anymore.

He stands, takes my hands in his, and loosely links them. When I was ten, I daydreamed about marrying Jamie under this gazebo. He’d hold my hands and look at me the way he is now,but it’s funny how that idea turned into a nightmare ten years later.

“It’s always going to be you and me.” He stares at me, eagerly hoping this whole spiel will change my mind. He’s either delusional or desperate.

“Five.”The echoing of the guest’s countdown faintly reverberates through the air.

“Let’s start fresh. I’m sorry that I got drunk at a party, but that was months ago, and I felt terrible once I realized how much it hurt you.”

“Four.”

“I want to try again with you.”

“Three.”

“It took me a long time to realize this, but I think I love you, Honey.”

“Two.”

In an instant, his lips are crashing against mine. His fat tongue probes mine, and his fingers clutch at my shoulders. This doesn’t feel like a kiss of declaration but a kiss of possession, and I’m not owned by anyone.

“One.”

“What the fuck are you doing?” I push at his chest, knocking him back into the seat. His arms are draped over the side, and he looks shell-shocked by the reaction. With my lipstick smeared across his face, he looks good, but I don’t feel the same excitement or giddiness I did when I saw it sprawled across Zach’s.

“Come on, Honey. We can work through this. You’ll forget about McKenna, and I’ll forget all about Zach. We can go back to us.”

And therein lies the issue. Nothing will make me forget about Zach. He changed me too much to ever be happy with my old life.

“No.” It’s resounding and deflates Jamie immediately, but he needs to hear it. He can’t treat me like shit and expect me to accept it, only for him to do it again.

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