Chapter Thirteen

William

William listened to the run-down of what Maria had put Rosie though while he was gone, and his stomach sank to his knees, all but left his body with every word. He hugged Rosie to him, pressing her head under his chin and kissing her hair. “I’m sorry. I should never have left you.”

It had been a good week since Maria had come home and they almost had a routine going with her. So far, they’d learnt she didn’t like when Rosie cooked for her, but if she didn’t know, it was fine. As long as William took her the food, she was none the wiser. It was the control they were letting her get by accident that was the problem. Giving into her tantrums and demands. Don’t they tell parents not to give in because they’d make a rod for their own backs?

One step at a time.

“I thought I could handle it. I did everything right. I …”

“Shsssh.” William pulled back a little and placed a finger on Rosie’s lips. He should never have left. He’d not make that mistake again. “It’s not you. Honestly. She’d complain if a damn saint was serving her.”

He hugged Rosie again, but as they moved, he caught a glimpse of his mother at the window of the lounge. Her eyes locked with his and made his insides flip in a way he hated. He blinked and held onto Rosie a little tighter. They had to get out of this pattern of doing what his mother wanted.

He’d thrown away these shackles the night he’d jumped. He’d left them by the river. “How about we go inside? I’ll get her comfortable and you can pack us something to eat. We can steal an hour or so on my bike. You’re not working this afternoon?”

“This evening. I’ve got the night shift.”

“You need to sleep?”

“No. No. It’s only ten till two. I can handle it.” She nodded. “Going out for an hour would be wonderful. But leave her alone?” Rosie pulled back, but hopeful eyes met his and made him smile.

“She’ll be fine by herself. Besides, I’ve got my phone. She can just ring if she needs anything.”

The smile that broke out then was worth it. It washed away the worry and panic in her eyes. He kissed her, a light kiss on the mouth. He kept his eyes open as he did. He liked to be able to look at her when they kissed. “Shall we do this? There’s so much of this place I want to show you. I want you to see it all.”

She smiled again, against his lips this time. “I can’t wait.”

Before Rosie stepped completely out of William’s embrace and turned around, Maria stepped back into the shadows and away from the window. The way the sun’s rays were angled, created a darkness that cast ugly shadows on her room, but they gave Maria that moment to step into the dark. She had done that when he was a child too. It had always given him fear to see that dark look across her features, the shadows, the way her bones pinched. Part of him, the part that was still a wounded child, hid in the confines of his soul from the woman who would most likely beat him when he walked through the door. But he was bigger than her now, stronger. There was very little she could do to him physically that would send him cowering the way it once had.

“I stopped at the supermarket too,” William said, letting go of Rosie and heading to the back of the car. “I thought we needed some things. Sorry. I didn’t mean to be so long.”

Rosie followed. “It’s okay. She’s just going to have to get used to me.” And although she didn’t say it with any kind of oomph, William appreciated the gesture.

“Thank you.”

He’d bought the essentials, fruit, vegetables, and then a month’s worth of the latest gossip magazines for his mother to read. For someone who claimed to be so infirm, she did all right when it pleased her. In fact, she did more than okay, but William tried not to entertain that thought so much. Even his mother couldn’t fake some shit.

“If you make a salad for my mother, and some soup, I’ll take it into her. Just make extra with ours,” he said, as he carried all the bags into the house. He went to the kitchen before going to his mother’s room. It wasn’t that he couldn’t face her, he needed water. He went to the kitchen and filled a bucket with hot water and disinfectant.

“I hate to think what else she’s done in there,” Rosie said from behind him as she busied herself putting away the groceries. William stole a look at her. She was so small sometimes, like something delicate and dainty. Something he wanted to protect, except that tiny voice in his head said he couldn’t protect a damn thing, especially Rosie.

William shook his head and went back to the bucket. “She’ll have done whatever she can think of in that sick mind of hers. You know, once, when I was maybe ten or eleven, she came home so drunk and she crapped herself. All down her legs, all along the hallway. It was disgusting.” He curled his lip at the thought of it. Even now he could bring the stench of it back to life, like it had been burnt into his olfactory senses.

“That’s disgusting. On purpose?”

He snorted a laugh. “For a change, no. She’d eaten some chocolate with a laxative in it. I left the next morning before she got up, assuming she’d shit the bed too. I wasn’t dealing with that.”

“Had she?”

William turned off the tap, tested the temperature of the water and lifted the bucket. “I don’t know. I stayed out a couple of days. I didn’t want to deal with it. Anyway, you make lunch, I’ll clean this up and we’ll head out for a couple of hours.”

“Are you sure?” Rosie had the counter covered with the items William had brought in. It was a rainbow of food. She gave him a sidelong look. “Wow. I think we’re set for the rest of the year. We could take this and go and live in the woods.”

William smiled to himself, almost tempted by her offer. Although Rosie would probably freeze to death within the first hour of being outside. God help her when January came around. She was never going to leave the house.

“What’s that look?”