Page 73 of Cuts Like an Angel: Part 2

Chapter Thirty-Four

Rosie

“See?” Rosie said to Carly. “I make everything worse without trying.”

“What?” Rosie turned to a perturbed William. “You make everything worse without trying?” He looked at Carly like Rosie were some puzzle giving him a migraine.

“I’m obviously the one causing all these problems,” Rosie explained to Carly. “I don’t understand his issues so I’m probably triggering every single one of them every single day without even trying,” she concluded in exasperation while William threw himself back onto the sofa with a sound of astonished disbelief.

“It’s true,” Rosie cried. “The more I-I learn about William—”

“The more you see what a whiny pussy he is,” William said, shooting off the couch to pace.

“I don’t like the way he talks about himself,” Rosie strained to Carly.

“She doesn’t like the way I talk about myself,” William repeated to Carly. “She doesn’t like a lot of things about me, with perfectly sound reason. What’s to like about William?”

Anger and fear twisted Rosie’s stomach, and she forced herself to sit to keep from pacing. She needed to be strong for him. She wanted to defend William but his agitation said it would only make it worse.

“Josh,” Carly called in a calm tone.

“What,” he bit, still walking the floor in odd patterns.

“There’s no sense in pretending here. With me or Rosie. We care for you. We see who you are, and we accept you.”

He came to an abrupt stop like her words slapped him. “Accept me?” Rosie watched his sneer grow as he eyed Carly. “That’s what’s wrong with the two of you,” he muttered. “You accept me. And why would you accept that?” he spat, smacking the side of his head.

“Accept you?” Carly asked.

“No, that,” he corrected. “William is a that, a stupid product, he’s a piece of-of-of vile, stupid, filth, all wrapped in dirty blood and pain, and agony, and endless … tears and shit wallowing graves,” he sputtered, arms waving about. “He’s a cess pool of pity and woe is me … woe is me,” he mocked in disgust. “Let me cut my body; let me cut my way to freedom,” he sliced an invisible knife all over his abdomen and arms. “Stupid little fuck wants to bleed his way out? He’s the stupidest bastard on the fucking earth, you don’t cut and bleed your fucking way to life,” he nearly yelled, his arms spread wide. “You only cut and bleed your way to psychiatric wards and—and hospitals and drug induced prison comas.” His angry eyes landed on Rosie. “That’s not me, that’s William. William jumped off that fucking bridge and the two of you sit there, mourning for his pathetic ass while I,” he poked his chest rapidly, “have the common sense to see that he needs to be put down. He needs to be buried a thousand miles into the earth so that I can have some peace and fucking quiet in my fucking head for once in my fucking life. You should be kissing my feet for stepping in and helping your precious William finally end it because he clearly can’t even do that, but I can. Me. Josh. I know how to shut him up if either of you would give me a chance.”

Rosie couldn’t fight her tears back and William gave a confused snort or gasp or laugh.

“See this?” he said to Carly. “Who do you think she’s crying for? It’s not me, it’s that stupid William. I don’t get it,” Josh said, astonished. “What is it with people? Why do they love the twisted and the fucked up?”

“I love William,” Rosie shot out, swiping her eyes with the backs of her hands. “And I don’t care what you think of him.” She was on her feet now, her anger coming to her rescue. “You can hate William and think he’s pathetic but you’ll not do it around me, do you understand?” She held her jaw tight to keep it from trembling but then needed to speak. She pointed a finger at him, in warning. “I see William,” she said, her voice breaking. “I see him. I see him not sleeping. I see him afraid. I see him silent and alone.”

Josh’s eyes widened. “You see him driving me crazy!” he yelled. “Who do you think has me up and down all night long? Are the doors locked? Are you sure you locked the doors? I don’t think you did, you better check again,” he mocked in a whiney voice. “Are the taps dripping? Pretty sure that’s a drip I hear, better go check. Can’t have the fucking taps dripping, God fucking forbid!” he yelled, turning to Carly. “And does she see it? Does Rosie see when I fidget because I can’t stand to touch her when she’s not washed her hands and yet I can’t stand not touching her? Does she see how badly I need to kiss her a hundred times a day because I’m pretty sure that last one wasn’t quite right, I’m pretty sure she noticed it wasn’t exactly perfect like it needs to be.”

“I don’t need perfect,” Rosie yelled.

“Yes you do!” William roared right back. “You need perfect because you’re perfect! There is nothing you can say to change it,” he banged his fist on the side of his head.

Rosie gasped, looking at Carly who appeared concerned but not alarmed. But Rosie was alarmed. “You can’t be perfect,” Rosie said, as though that would help him quit trying to be. “Nobody can be perfect, William.”

He gritted his teeth and seethed with his eyes closed. “Tell that to your precious William,” he bit quietly.

“I am; I did,” Rosie said, trying to get a hold of herself.

“Josh,” Carly said, standing.

They both looked at her, the sudden pillar in the storm. At least that’s how Rosie saw her, she wasn’t sure how Josh or William saw her. “Think with me, please. I understand what you’re doing. And it’s quite logical.”

The tension in William’s body lessened by one degree and it was a cautious, begrudging degree. The fact that there was no challenge or response meant something good, hopefully. Rosie held her breath, praying Carly could fix it, get all the flying pieces back into the Pandora’s box that had exploded at some point when Rosie wasn’t paying close enough attention. She needed to pay closer attention, she needed to be taking notes. She needed to know everything wrong so she could help him.

“I think Josh may have a point.”

Rosie realized Carly was talking to her. “W-what do you mean?”

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