Page 33 of Cuts Like an Angel: Part 2

“It’s okay,” William said, stepping closer. Shit. He could do these performances himself. She had done them so many times, and that was exactly what they were, performances. “I’ll fix her arm.”

“We really shouldn’t let you.”

“She won’t let you near her,” he said. No, he had tried this once and she would kick up holy hell until one or both nurses fled the room in a rush of tears. “If you just give me a moment with my mother,” he said in the end. He guessed that they had their duty to stay when she had called out about being hit, but then surely, they were wise to it.

“Did she leave you?” Maria spat when the nursed left the room. “Run off back to where she came from? Bet she didn’t like hearing what a little bastard you are. I told you, didn’t I William. I told you that if you ever brought anyone, I’d let them know about you. She’ll be wondering. All the time, she’ll be thinking about it. I should have told her all the things you like.”

Cold agony sank like a rock in his gut, pressing against his spine and sending signals up his back that made the hairs along his arms and neck stand up as her words, vicious as they were, crawled along his skin. He wanted to scream at her and tell her no. He wanted to tell her she was wrong.

“She hurt my arm, William,” she said, her voice lowering with her pout.

“No, she didn’t. Rosie wouldn’t …” he grabbed the water from the trolley near her, trying his best to hide the way his hands shook.

“Are you calling me a liar?”

“No, but maybe it was an accident.”

“It wasn’t.”

He poured her a glass of water and held it out to her. “Drink this,” he said. “It’ll do you good.”

“Did you bring my stuff? I asked them to ask you and you said you would. You were meant to bring me shampoo.”

“No. I forgot it. I’ll bring it tomorrow.”

She lifted her glass, arm back like a sling shot, and William grabbed her wrist before she launched it at him. “Stop it,” he said.

She almost hissed at him, spitting as she muttered something, her free hand swinging round and slapping his face. “Fuck,” he said, moving back fast, his ear ringing.

“You needed that,” she said. “You forget about me. You trade me in for that little bitch. I cared for you, William. I did, and you go to someone like her. You’re mine. Not hers.”

“I need to go.”

“Say it, William. Say that you're mine and not hers.”

“I just need to go home. I’ll get your stuff.”

“Say it, or you don’t leave here. Don’t leave me William.”

“I …”

“Say it.”

He knew what would happen if he didn’t say it. He could see it in her face. She might be fucked in the head and rotten inside, but she still had that mind about her. The one that made him regret each time he had dared to defy her. He didn’t know what she could do to him now, but she would find something. She always did. He’d say it and lie, like he always did. To protect Rosie from whatever she would try. He wouldn’t mean it, he never did. “I’m not hers, I’m yours,” he barely uttered after a moment.”

“Next time you fuck that little bitch, remember to think of me.” She put her hand to her face, covering her eyes, her shoulder started to shake. “I’m sorry William. You’re still my little boy, that’s all. I don’t mean to get like this. I don’t.”

The child inside him stared out, yearning for acceptance; his little heart twisted at her tears.

“I don’t ever mean to hurt you.”

“I’ll come back tomorrow,” he said.

“I forgive you, William,” she said, locking him with a sincere stare.

He nodded and left the room quickly, slamming down all the mental doors he could find, but then he came face to face with Rosie standing outside the room. She had heard. She had heard everything. “I’m sorry,” he said to her. “I need some air.”

He raced out without waiting. Raced ahead and away from Rosie and Maria. By the time he reached his car, his mind was in pieces and his heart was seeping through his skin. He pressed his head against the edge of the car above the door, his arms around his stomach. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“William …” It was Rosie. She had run behind him the whole way, but he had ignored her. His mind had been too loud with the thoughts of so many other things now.

“You’ll want me to take you to the airport now, after what she told you.” He shook his head, not hearing whatever it was Rosie was trying to say. He was too lost … too gone.

William jumped back when Rosie rested a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t,” he said. “Don’t you see how dirty I am? All the shit on me. It’ll be on you too.”

---