Page 31 of Under My Skin

Whydidn’t it seem as horrible? Why was I allowing myself to open up to him like this? I shouldn’t have even been telling him this much about myself. Because the more I told him, the more he’d want to know. And if I wasn’t careful, I’d end up slipping and asking him questions about himself too. Such as why he was being so nice to me now when he’d been so unforgivably cruel to my sister.

“You don’t sound crazy, Dani,” he said quietly. “You sound determined. Just because you’re a parent now, it doesn’t mean you can’t have your own goals and dreams. You’re one of the strongest women I’ve ever met, and I admire the hell out of you. No matter what ends up happening after all this is over, that won’t change.”

Right. Unless you find out who I really am. And who that baby you were holding tonight is. Then you’ll hate me…almost as much as I need to hate you.

“Thanks,” I murmured with half a smile. “That’s nice of you to say.”

“It’s not just words, sweetheart. I mean it,” he insisted, giving the hand he hadn’t let go of a slight squeeze.

“I don’t have a choice.” I sighed. “Isaac needs me. I can’t just nope out of being his guardian because it’s hard.”

“You could have. A lot of people in your position probablywouldhave. But you didn’t because that’s not who you are. You’re loyal to the people you care about. I can tell that already. And it’s something we have in common. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my family either, chosen or blood-related.”

Sure, there’s not. Except when it came to the woman who died after giving birth to your child.

There it was. The anger. The almost-comforting ire that had been my constant companion ever since that heart monitor had flatlined. That was what I needed to hold on to.

“So, there’s something I wanted to ask you,” he said, snapping me back to the present, where I still had to act like I was actually enjoying spending time with him. “Kyler’s documentary premiere is in Miami at the end of June. Do you think you’d be able to come down there with me? We’d have to spend the night, so I understand if the answer’s no because of Isaac, but I’d really appreciate it if you can swing it.”

I sighed. I wanted to say no – solely because I didn’t know how I was going to be able to put on a show with him every single second that eyes would be on us down there – but I also knew I had to hold up my end of our bargain.

“Let me talk to Lina,” I said. “I’m not comfortable just leaving him with her overnight and going four hours away, but I’ll see if she can come with and watch him while we’re at the premiere. And I’m guessing there’s an after-party we’d have to make an appearance at too, right?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Bailey Knight is going to be performing.”

“Bailey Knight?” I practically squealed as my eyes went wide. “Seriously?”

That made him grin and laugh. “Yep. She wrote a song for the film.”

“Oh, my God. Now I’m going to be so upset if Lina can’t do it,” I chuckled weakly. “I love Bailey Knight.”

“I will be too. But not because of Bailey Knight. Because I like spending time with you,” he said, his smile never faltering.

I swallowed hard as I tried my damnedest to school my features so he wouldn’t see the battle I was currently fighting in my mind. The war I was waging with myself to keep the fury I was clinging to like a lifeline front and center.

I couldn’t let go of that. I just wasn’t ready, and I wasn’t sure if I ever would be. Because the second I let go of the wrath, all that would be left was pain and emptiness. And that would swallow me whole.

“You ready to go?” Braden asked as he signed the credit card slip…after adding a five-hundred-dollar tip, which was more than the bill.

He’d tried to hide the paper from me, but I had caught a glimpse while he was putting his card back in his wallet. And it almost made me sick to my stomach thinking about how much money he was dropping on this date that wasn’t even real. I was struggling to keep my head above water, and he was able to drop close to a thousand dollars on dinner like it was nothing. Hell, it had probably barely made a dent in his bank account to pay Lina’s salary and give me fifty grand to make some public appearances with him.

Yet he wouldn’t spend a single red cent on his own kid. No matter how many fancy dinners and events he took me to, I couldn’t let myself forget that.

I nodded. “Yeah. What do you want me to do if there’s still photographers out front?”

“Same thing you did when we walked in. Breathe and walk. I’ll talk to you like they’re not there, and maybe drop your first name if you’re okay with it?”

“It’s okay,” I said, letting out a long breath as I pushed my chair back and stood up. “My name’s going to end up getting out at some point anyway, right?”

“Most likely, but it doesn’t have to be tonight if you don’t want it to be.” He got up and held out his hand, which I took, ignoring the spark that I’d now come to expect whenever he touched me.

“No use putting off the inevitable,” I told him as we started to walk toward the front of the restaurant.

While the number of people waiting outside with their cameras had thinned out, they hadn’t disappeared entirely. So, pasting a smile on my face, I squared my shoulders as Braden led me out the door.

“So, what’d you think, Dani?” he asked me as the cameras started to flash in our faces. “Did it live up to the hype?”

“Yeah, it was great,” I said. “That crème brûlée was to die for.”

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