Page 58 of My Vows Are Sealed

“Yes, sir,” I murmured, averting my eyes.

I didn’t know why he wanted me in the early service instead of the later service, but it didn’t really matter. He said jump, and my mom and I asked how high. That was the way it worked in this house. So, without asking any other questions, I scurried off into my bedroom and shut the door behind me, then quickly changed into some pajamas.

Why did my dad have to taint every good experience I’d ever had? Before I stepped off the church bus, tonight had been one of the best nights of my life. But now, I had a knot in my stomach that wouldn’t go away and the adrenaline high I’d been on from the concert had been replaced by crushing anxiety at the anticipation of when my dad would decide to tell me what I’d done wrong and punish me for it.

Taking a few deep breaths, I went into my closet and pulled the Christmas present I’d started working on for Brendan off of the top shelf in the back that I kept it on so my dad wouldn’t find it. I figured that doing a little work on it would help me calm down so I could get at least a few hours of sleep tonight. I’d gotten the idea from the nail cross necklace that he always wore, and then when he told me that he and Nathan were going to paint the cabinet he was making in his carpentry class together, it was just cemented in my mind. They’d be able to put this on the cabinet once they were done painting it.

Grabbing the wire cutters, pliers, wire, and cast-iron nails, I went over to my desk and cleared off a space to work on. I grabbed the one line of nails I’d already wrapped together with wire and put it on the desk, then got to work laying the nails out for the next branch of the N. There was going to be a B eventually too, but that was going to take more work because I’d have to bend some of the nails for the curves of the letter. And then I was going to wrap both of them together and make something they could mount it with.

I’d gotten about halfway through wrapping the next part of the N when a rapping on my window made me jump six inches out of my chair. Once I managed to get my heart rate slowed to normal, I got up and went to pull back the curtains, wanting to find out what was going on.

I’d been expecting to see nothing, or maybe a tree branch on the ground. What I wasn’t expecting was to see my boyfriend standing there. My eyes widened as I cracked the window so I could talk to him. Thankfully, my room was on the complete opposite end of the house from my parents’ room, so my dad wouldn’t hear us.

“Oh, my gosh, Brendan. You scared the crap out of me!” I stage-whispered.

“Sorry,” he chuckled quietly. “I just…I had this feeling I needed to come check on you. I know it sounds crazy, but the last time I had a feeling like this was when I dropped you off after homecoming, and the next morning, you had a dislocated shoulder and a broken rib. I couldn’t ignore it. Not again.”

My eyes stung with tears, and a lump rose in my throat. Maybe it was dumb, but this was just confirming to me that saying yes to him was the right decision. That he was the glimpse at God’s plan for my life that I’d prayed for.

“I’m okay,” I choked out, sniffling a little.

But the truth was, I wasn’t okay. Because even though my father hadn’t laid a hand on me, it was like I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. The next time was an inevitability. Whether he decided to tell me what he was upset about and dole out my punishment tomorrow morning or whether this was the one time in a blue moon time when hedidn’tfly off the handle, hewouldlose control and hurt me again at some point. And I had no idea when it would be.

He cracked a half-smile. “You don’t sound okay.”

“He didn’t hurt me, but…it’s complicated. I wish I could let you in so we could talk, but…” I trailed off, sighing.

That earned me a real smile. “Open the window a little more. I’ve got the screen.”

“Are you insane?” I gasped. “What if he comes in?”

His eyes got as big as saucers. “Please,for the love of God, tell me he doesn’t come into your room in the middle of the night.”

Oh, my gosh. I hadn’t even thought about how that would sound before I said it. But, given what Brendan already knew about my dad, I guessed that wasn’t much of a leap for him to make.

“No,” I said quickly. “I mean, not that I know of. I just meant I’m not allowed to have my door locked, so hecouldcome in if he heard us talking.”

“He tries to lay even a finger on you while I’m here, and he’ll get a fair fight for once in his miserable life,” he gritted out, then sighed. “I’m not going to force you to let me in, Dar. If you’re that scared of what’ll happen if he finds me here, I’ll go home and we can talk at school on Monday. But I can tell something’s wrong and I want to be here for you if you’ll let me.”

That did it. The tears I’d been trying to hold back since the second I’d seen my dad’s face in the parking lot broke free. I wasn’t used to having someone who caredthismuch about me. Someone who actually went out of their way to check on me and pressed me for answers when I tried to skirt the truth.

“Do you know how much I hate to see you crying and not be able to hug you?” he murmured. “Please let me in, baby. Even if it’s just for a couple of minutes.”

I took a deep breath, trying to stop the tears, but it was futile.

I’d been just grinning and bearing my father’s abuse for my entire life, and I’d gotten used to it. I wasn’t going to lie and say I wasn’t miserable, but I just kept my head down and plowed ahead, making plans to go to college somewhere far away so I could get out of here. And, for the most part, no one cared and no one asked questions. The genuine empathy and care that Brendan was showing me was just so out of the ordinary for me, and it had caught me off-guard.

Against my better judgment, I opened my window as far as it would go. Brendan made quick work of taking the screen out, then climbed through with a feline-like grace. He turned around and shut the window behind him, then caught me up in a tight bear hug, burying his face in my hair. I groaned a little as it put pressure on my sore rib, and he backed up just enough so he could wipe some of my tears off my cheeks.

“God, it’s been forever since I’ve been in here,” he mumbled awkwardly.

I giggled quietly. “I think the last time was when we were in elementary school. The weird thing is, it hasn’t changed much.”

“Not even a boy band poster in sight,” he teased.

That made me snort. “You actually think my dad would let that fly? I’m not even allowed tolistento boy bands. Even the Christian rock groups I listen to are just this side of acceptable.”

“Well, you’re not missing much,” he chuckled.

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