Page 38 of My Vows Are Sealed

“I’m sorry, Dad,” I choked out. “I wasn’t feeling well, and Brendan offered to bring me home so Naomi didn’t have to leave early. I didn’t think you’d mind.”

“Didn’t fucking think I’dmind?!” he roared. “You deliberately disregarded my directives! This is why you’re never permitted to attend any functions other than church! You can’t be trusted not to succumb to the desires of the flesh! Women are all the fucking same! You’re fucking weak! You just can’t fucking help yourselves, and you all think with your genitals!”

Even though not feeling well was just supposed to be a cover story, when he started to unbuckle his belt, my stomach actually turned and I felt bile rise in my throat. I’d never seen my dadthismad. Sure, he’d cursed at me before, but this was on a whole other level. And his eyes weren’t just angry; they were enraged. Wild. Uncontrolled. I was actually afraid of what he’d do with that belt.

“Dad, please,” I whimpered as I started to back away from him. “Please.”

“Please, please,” he mocked. “Pleasewhat?!”

What was he doing? He’d never been this cruel before. He’d never been this out of control.

“Please don’t,” I murmured. “I didn’t do anything wrong.”

Okay, so that was a lie. I had done something wrong. I’d let a boy kiss me. Well, not just any boy. The boy I loved. The boy who, in another lifetime, I might have spent my life with.

But still, God would forgive me for lying. My dad? He wouldn’t forgive me if he knew the truth.

His folded belt connected with my thigh.

“Didn’t do anything wrong?!” he roared. “You fucking disobeyed me!”

“I got sick,” I pleaded as I swallowed down the bile in my throat. “Brendan was just trying to help.”

“You allowed yourself to be alone with a boy!” he growled, hitting my other thigh, this time higher up. “What was going to stop him from taking advantage of you? What was going to stop him from forcing himself on you? From fuckingviolatingyou and making you unclean?! This isnothingcompared to what that boy could have done!”

What? My dad had known Brendan almost since the day he was born. How could he think that someone I’d been friends with for my whole life would ever do anything to hurt me?

“He’d never do that,” I sobbed. “He’d never hurt me. He—”

He loves me.

Even while I was terrified, while my father was in the middle of beating me, Ifeltthe truth of those words down to my bones. Brendan hadn’t just been saying that. He’d shown me tonight, in every way possible.

The way he’d talked to me and the agony in his voice. How real and honest every single word that came out of his mouth was.

The way his first priority was still making sureIwas okay, even though I knew I’d broken his heart tonight.

The way he’d kissed me. Gosh, the way he’d kissed me. I swear, I’d thought I was having an out-of-body experience. Feeling him hold me tighter than he ever had before, like he was telling me without words that he wasn’t going to let me go. That first moment when our lips connected, and the moment it deepened and turned into something bigger and more intense than I’d ever imagined…

No. I couldn’t think about it anymore. Because it was never going to happen again, and thinking about what could have been would only make it that much harder.

Another swat with the belt, this time across my stomach, pulled me from the thought.

“You rebellious, disobedient, disloyal child! You arenotto fucking talk back to me!”

I couldn’t help the tears that started to stream down my cheeks. I hadn’t thought I had any tears left to cry tonight, but apparently, I was wrong.

This time, a blow landed on my arm.

“Selfish!”

Another swat, this time right across my chest.

“Sinner!”

He yanked me forward and turned me around, throwing me against the door. I cried out in agony as my torso rammed into the doorknob, and I thought I heard a crack, but I couldn’t be positive. Because it might have just been the snap of the belt as it swatted between my shoulder blades. I cried out again from the sting, and he swatted me again.

“This is for your own good, so you will learn to obey my directives and stay on the path of righteousness!”

---