Page 107 of My Vows Are Sealed

“Yeah, I know. That’s what’s so weird,” I sighed. “I’ve just been so stressed lately, I guess the smell of the grease was too much or something.”

Suddenly, her eyes went wide and one of her hands flew up to cover her mouth, and she quickly shut the bathroom door.

“What is it?” I asked, completely confused.

“Darla, when was your last period?” she whispered.

It felt like the wiring in my brain shorted as the weight of that question crashed down on me.

I hadnevermissed a period before. Not even with all the stress my dad’s abuse put me through. I could always set my calendar by my menstrual cycle. But now that I thought about it, I realized that I hadn’t gotten my period since a couple of weeks after I’d moved in here. Which would have put my last period at around seven weeks ago.

“Oh, my God,” I choked out. “Like two weeks after I moved in here.”

“You haven’t been able to get on the pill yet, have you?”

I shook my head as a few tears trailed down my cheeks. “No, because the statement would go to my parents’ house. But we’re safe. We always use condoms.”

“A broken condom isn’t always obvious.” She took a deep breath. “Look, you’ve been under more stress lately than anyone should have to deal with. It could just be stress and a stomach bug. But there’s only one way to know for sure.”

I couldn’t say anything. I was too busy putting the pieces together in my head. I’d been so tired lately, and I couldn’t figure out why. I’d felt a little sick over the past couple of weeks, though it wasn’t nearly this bad. Add that to figuring out that I hadn’t had a period in over two months? I needed to be responsible and take a pregnancy test, but I knew what the result would be.

What was I supposed to do? Brendan and I were still kids ourselves. I was about to start college, and he had a full-time job. I was essentially estranged from both of my parents, and the only reason Brendan had stayed on speaking terms with his family was because of Nathan. So how were we supposed to raise a baby with no support to speak of?

“Come on back into the bedroom,” Kate said quietly, pulling me back to the conversation. “I’m going to run out and get you a pregnancy test. If I do it, then no one other than the people in this room will know it’s for you.”

I nodded.

“Don’t start freaking out yet, hon,” she said softly. “Not until you know for sure.”

“I can’t help it,” I sniffled. “What am I going to do, Kate?”

She gave me a sad smile. “I know it’s not something you’d normally consider, but—”

“No,” I cut her off. I didn’t need her to finish that sentence to know where she was going with it. “I can’t do that. Not just because of my beliefs. Because if…if I am pregnant, this baby is part of me. And it’s part of Brendan too.”

“Well, there’s always adoption. There are so many families out there who would kill for a chance to be parents.”

I buried my head in my hands. I knew she was right, and I knew that was probably the right thing to do, but just thinking about giving my baby to someone else felt so wrong on so many levels. Maybe it was selfish of me because I was supposed to do what was best for the baby, but I honestly didn’t know if I was capable of spending nine months growing this baby and then just giving it to someone else and never seeing it again.

“You don’t have to decide anything right now, Darla,” Kate tried to reassure me. “And it’s not something youshoulddecide without Brendan. You’re about to get married, and if you are pregnant, this is his kid too. He’s as much a part of this equation as you are, and no matter what decision you make, you need him to support you.”

“I know that, but I can’t help it,” I said through my tears. “I always knew I wanted kids with him, but not like this. Not while my dad’s still out there, and not while we can barely support ourselves, let alone a child too.”

“You’ll figure it out,” she said with a smile. “I know just from seeing you and Brendan with Nate that you’ll make amazing parents one day. If one day is seven or eight months from now, then you’ll figure out how to give this kid an incredible life. It won’t be easy, but you can do it. Now, come on. Don’t sit there on the toilet until I get back.”

I sighed and stood up, and Kate pulled me into a hug before opening the door and leading me back out into her bedroom.

* * *

When Kate got back to the house about forty-five minutes later, she handed me a plastic bag with some ginger ale, saltines, and three pregnancy tests in it.

“Figured the ginger ale and saltines might help your stomach,” she chuckled awkwardly.

I forced a smile, but a knot formed in my stomach. I just froze. I couldn’t make myself get up off the bed to take the tests. It felt like my entire life was resting on whether or not that second pink line showed up on these little plastic sticks.

“You can’t avoid it forever, sweetie,” Heather said. “Just go take the test. And whatever happens, we’re all right here. You’re not alone.”

“I don’t…I don’t know what to do,” I mumbled.

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