Page 104 of My Vows Are Sealed

“That ring is so cute, though,” Naomi said once she caught her breath.

“Right?” I agreed as I admired the three small princess-cut diamonds sitting on the white gold band. “I love it so much. But he actually tried to apologize to me because he thought it wasn’t big enough.”

“Um, anything bigger would have looked like a paperweight on your tiny hand,” Kate chuckled. “That’s perfect, and very you.”

“Okay, this calls for celebration. Who’s up for IHOP?” Ashton asked, pushing their chair back from the table. “I’m buying.”

I grinned. “Pancakes sound amazing.”

* * *

Brendan was already home when I let myself into his apartment. I saw a pizza sitting on the stove, and the smell made my stomach growl.

“Hey, baby,” he said, flashing me a smile.

“Hey,” I sighed as I walked over and flopped down next to him on the couch.

“You look like you’re headed to your own execution,” he chuckled weakly.

“Can you blame me?” I pointed out. “The last time I saw Ethan, he was stumbling around drunk in the church parking lot. And he made my life hell in high school. I mean, I’m sure he didn’t know my dad was abusing me, but he knew my home life wasn’t good. Everyone did.”

“I don’t know about everyone. Heather did, though. It’s one of the reasons she tried to help me get through to you. She knew you needed someone in your corner, just like she needs Christy in hers.”

“I miss them,” I mumbled.

“I do too,” he said, planting a kiss on my head. “They should be getting back into town soon for the summer. We’ll work something out so you can hang out with them. Anyway, I thought I’d save you from cooking since you’re nervous enough already. Didn’t figure you’d complain about pizza.”

“Do I ever complain about pizza?”

Before he could answer me, there was a knock at the door, and my heart rate kicked up a few notches. Brendan gave me a quick peck on the lips before walking over to the door, looking in the peephole, and then opening it.

If I hadn’t known that it was Ethan Smith who’d just walked into this apartment, I never would have recognized him. The lumbering fifteen-year-old kid who was mad at the world now looked like a military cadet, which actually made perfect sense, since he’d just graduated from military school.

Ethan gave me a sad smile. “Hey, Darla. Been a while.”

“Yeah, it has,” I managed to say. “Hi, Ethan.”

Brendan grabbed the pizza off of the stove and pulled a few Cokes out of the fridge before coming back to sit next to me. Ethan looked beyond awkward as he took a seat on Brendan’s other side, turning sideways and leaning out a little so he could look at me.

“So, I hear congratulations are in order,” he started. “Brendan couldn’t shut up about popping the question last night at work today.”

For a second, I wondered why Brendan would have told Ethan about our engagement. But I guessed that showed how much he trusted him. Because that didn’t just put me in a potentially dangerous situation; it was dangerous for Brendan too. My dad would have killedbothof us if he knew about Brendan’s plans to keep me away from that house permanently.

“Thanks,” I mumbled.

Ethan took a deep breath. “Look, I know why you’re nervous to talk to me. If it was me, I would be too, especially because I asked to meet you alone. But I’m not the same messed-up kid you remember, Darla. And I just really wanted a chance to tell you how sorry I am for how I treated you.”

A lump rose in my throat and tears started to sting my eyes, but I blinked them back. I couldn’t cry right now. He didn’t deserve to see my tears.

“Why, Ethan?” I choked out. “I mean, I guess I get why you were a jerk to me at school. Sort of. But why would you be so cruel to Kate and Ash? Why would you tell my dad about them? Why would you threaten to tell him about me and Brendan? You knew he was hurting me.”

I noticed his nostrils flare, and he swallowed hard, like he was trying to contain his emotion too. Why washeabout to cry? He wasn’t the one who was beaten with a belt. He wasn’t the one who had Scripture used to justify abuse every single day of his life.

“There’s nothing that can make what I did to you okay,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “And there’s nothing that can make what I did to your friends okay either. But I was in a lot of pain back then. I was struggling with a lot of things. Including…” He took a deep breath. “Including my sexuality. My friend, Tommy…well, he wasn’t just my friend. My parents actually caught us together the summer before we started high school. They told me that God hated homosexuals and that I was going to Hell if I didn’t change my ways. Tried to get me counseling. And I tried to numb my feelings with drugs and alcohol and lashed out at the whole world. The ironic thing is, it was one of my instructors at military school who helped me to accept who I am and not be ashamed of it anymore. My parents sent me away trying to discipline the gay out of me, and they led me right to someone who helped me embrace it instead.”

“You know, Kate and Ash could have helped you too, if you’d let them,” I bit out. “They never would have judged you. And neither would your other friends at church. But you never let us.”

“I know that. But at the time, I didn’t want to be helped. My parents’ attempts to help me just seemed to be making things worse, not better,” he sniffled, wiping a few tears out of his eyes.

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