Page 94 of My Vows Are Sealed

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I sat on my bed at Kate’s house staring at the old shoebox in front of me, which I’d found in the bottom of the duffel bag my mom had given me. I hadn’t found the strength to open it yet, because I had no idea what might be inside. Maybe it was stupid, but I literally couldn’t handle any more unknowns right now. Not even something as small as this. Not by myself.

A rap on the window made my heart stop for a second before I remembered that Kate had basically given Brendan permission to use the window to get in and out. Taking a couple of calming breaths, I peeked out the window to see my favorite face in the world. I opened it as far it would go and popped the screen out, and Brendan took it from me and leaned it against the outside wall before hopping up onto the ledge and stepping inside.

As soon as he closed the window, I threw myself into his arms, and he picked me up and sat on the bed with me straddling his legs.

“I missed you like crazy last night,” he whispered, kissing my head. “I hated going to sleep without you.”

“I didn’t even sleep,” I mumbled against his shoulder. “I got like maybe an hour of sleep all night. Annie’s so sweet, but this isn’t my house. This isn’t my bed. And I hate being alone right now. I know it’s stupid, but I can’t help it.”

“Baby,” he cooed as he combed his fingers through my hair. “God. Why didn’t you text me? I would have been here in ten minutes.”

“Because I need to get over it. I need to get over this…this crushing fear that he’s going to come barging through the door the second I’m alone,” I sighed. “It’s ridiculous and I know it, but it’s like I can’t make it stop.”

“Dar, that’s not ridiculous. It’s a trauma response. Marie would tell you the same thing. And I hate that I wasn’t here to help you. I’m supposed to make you feel safe, and you don’t feel safe here.”

“I do feel safe here,” I insisted. “I know my dad doesn’t know Kate, but it’s like…how long before he just starts randomly banging down every door in Charleston trying to find me? He won’t give up, Brendan. He won’t.”

“I think he will. Once he realizes that you were smarter than to go to anyone in the church for help.”

“No, you don’t understand. My mom tried to take me and leave him once, when I was about three. It lasted less than twenty-four hours, and he dragged us both back to the house. I don’t remember it, but she said that he hurt me in front of her just to torture her, then beat her up and told her it was a warning. He said the next time she tried to leave, he’d kill me in front of her and then make her beg for death before he killed her too, and that they’d never even find our bodies. I left, Brendan. I left, and now he’s going to find me and he’s going to kill me.”

Brendan pulled back from the hug and put a hand on my face, looking me right in the eyes. He looked heartbroken and terrified, but also…determined? Was that right?

“I willneverlet that happen, Dar,” he gritted out, his voice shaking a little. “Do you hear me?Never. I will fight until my last breath to keep you safe.”

Before I had time to come up with a response, he crashed his lips to mine in a desperate, manic kiss, pulling me close against him as our tongues met. I whimpered into his mouth, and that just made him hold me tighter, slipping his hand under my nightshirt and sliding it up my back. I could feel his arousal growing beneath me, and rocking against it wasn’t even voluntary. It was automatic.

I knew this wasn’t the time. We still had to talk. I still had to open that stupid shoebox that was sitting here on the bed. And I was inmy best friend’s guest bedroom, for God’s sake. But everything I’d ever known had just been turned on its head this afternoon. I needed one thing I still knew was the same. One thing that would never change, no matter what. And that one thing was him.

“I need you,” I confessed. “I know it’s not the ti—”

He cut me off with another kiss as he slid my shirt up my sides, only tearing his mouth away briefly so he could pull it off. Then his lips were back on mine as he stood up and turned around, depositing me on the bed and crawling over me. He kicked his shoes off and shed his shirt, then pulled his wallet out of his pocket and retrieved a foil packet, setting it on the nightstand.

I giggled. “Expecting to get lucky?”

“Maybe,” he chuckled. “Or maybe I’m just always prepared.”

“I’m not complaining,” I breathed, pulling him back down for another kiss as I wrapped my legs around his waist and rubbed myself against the growing bulge in his pants.

“Christ, Dar,” he mumbled against my lips while palming one of my breasts and pinching my nipple.

I whimpered, biting my lip to contain my cries, and he trailed kisses down to my chest and replaced his fingers with his mouth, sucking hard on the hardened peak. It was all I could do to suppress a moan as I ran my fingers through his hair, trying to keep his mouth where it was. He slid his other hand down between my legs and cupped my core, kneading softly, before tugging my panties to the side and starting to rub me right where I needed it.

“Ohmygod,” I gasped. How did it feel even better this time than it had the past two times?

Brendan raised his head, and I wanted to cry at the loss of his mouth on my breasts, but then he kissed me so thoroughly that I forgot why I’d ever wanted his mouth anywhere but on mine.

“Can I try kissing you down here, baby?” he asked as he pressed his fingers down just a little harder. “You can say no.”

The pressure inside me coiled up even more justthinkingabout what it would feel like to have his mouth there.

“Yes,” I said, so quietly it was barely audible.

Please, I added mentally.

“Stop me if you don’t like it. It’s okay.”

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