Page 81 of My Vows Are Sealed

“Brendan,” I cried. “Oh, my God!”

My limbs felt like Jell-O and it took a second for me to be able to open my eyes again when I came down from my high. When I did, I found Brendan looking at me like he’d just witnessed the Resurrection. I flushed in embarrassment and tried to avert my gaze, but he just put a hand on my face and kissed me breathless.

“That was the best moment of my entire life,” he murmured. “I just…I don’t have words.”

Yeah, that wasn’t helping with the embarrassment. But the kiss he gave me before I had to come up with a response did. A little.

Then he took a deep breath and reached to open the drawer of his nightstand, producing a box of condoms that was still in the shrink wrap. Thank God he’d thought to buy those, and that he was thinking about that right now, because honestly, it hadn’t even crossed my mind.

“I bought these when I moved in here,” he mumbled, like he thought he needed to explain why he just happened to have them. “I wasn’t expecting anything. I’d never expect anything from you. I still don’t. You can still tell me you’re not ready. I just wanted to be prepared whenever youwereready.”

“I am,” I promised. “I want this. And I’m glad you thought about protection, because I didn’t. At least one of us is still thinking straight.”

He chuckled and gave me another kiss. “When it comes to taking care of you, thinking isn’t required. It’s automatic.”

He unwrapped the box and retrieved a foil packet before setting it back on his nightstand, then made quick work of rolling the latex on. Apparently sex ed classwasactually good for something. I remembered having to roll the condoms on those bananas in tenth grade and how stupid I’d felt for being so horrible at it.

Brendan moved to settle himself between my legs, and the butterflies took up residence in my stomach again. How much would it hurt? Would it even feel good at all? What if I was absolutely horrible at this? I mean, I knew he wouldn’t have anything to compare it to, but still. I wanted this to be good for him, and I had no idea how to accomplish that.

“I need you to help me, Dar,” he said, just above a whisper. “I don’t want to hurt you, and I want to make this good for both of us. So I need you to tell me what you need from me, okay?”

I nodded. “Okay.”

“You ready?”

I took a deep breath. “Yeah. Just…take it slow.”

Instead of answering, he kissed me, and I felt the head of his shaft nudging against my center. He pushed just a couple of inches in, and all of the air left my lungs as the pressure I’d felt when he first put his fingers inside me returned tenfold.

“Okay?” he asked.

I nodded again. “Keep going. It’s okay.”

Slowly, inch by inch, he slid further inside me, and he stopped for a second when he came into contact with the last remnants of my virginity. I yelped a little at the sharp pain that shot through me as he pushed past the barrier, and a few tears stung my eyes.

“I’m sorry, baby,” he said softly, giving me a kiss as he slid his arms under my shoulders. “I love you. What do you need?”

“Just give me a second,” I told him, my voice thick with a thousand different emotions.

But, much to my surprise, guilt wasn’t one of those emotions. Despite the pain that was quickly turning into more of a dull ache, it felt so perfect, so right, to be this intimately connected to the man I loved. Maybe we were both fumbling our way through this, but tonight was ours, and in its own weird and awkward way, it was the most beautiful and romantic night of my life.

“I think I’m okay now,” I told him after a few seconds.

Brendan’s lips found mine again as he slowly pulled about halfway out and pushed back in. I gasped as I felt the effects streaking all the way through my whole body. It still hurt at first, but with every stroke, the pain lessened a little more. He built up a slow, steady pace, and if I thought his fingers felt good…it was nothing compared to this. It felt like my entire body was bursting into flames of pure pleasure and passion.

“Oh, my God. This feels like…” I trailed off, because I didn’t have words.

“Home. It feels like home. Like I’m right where I’m supposed to be,” he whispered as he dipped his head down to pull a nipple into his mouth.

“Brendan,” I moaned as my body went into sensation overload.

I arched my hips and wrapped my legs around his back, trying to take him deeper, and he groaned as he released my nipple with a soft pop, still keeping up the same slow pace. He was holding back, and I was desperate to surge forward.

“I need more,” I whimpered in frustration.

“I’m trying to make this last, baby,” he murmured, brushing his lips against mine. “I won’t be able to if I go any faster. You feel too good.”

I couldn’t help it. A few tears leaked out of my eyes. Maybe I was overly emotional tonight, but I’d literally never felt so cherished and loved before in my whole life. And given how he treated me every single day, that was saying something.

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