Page 60 of My Vows Are Sealed

“And she didn’t do a goddamn thing, did she?” he practically growled.

“Nope,” I said, shaking my head. “And she stopped talking to my mom as much. I think that’s why she started trying to keep you and Nate away from me.”

“So many things make sense now,” he muttered, then took a deep breath. “The day Ethan decided to be a jerk and tell your dad about Kate and Ash, Nate was asking me in the car on the way home about why your dad came into the kids’ room at church and yelled at you. I answered his questions the best I could, and when we got back to the house, my mom told me that I shouldn’t be encouraging Nate’s infatuation with you because she’d been informed that you were, quote, a seriously disturbed child who had major disciplinary issues. I had no idea what the hell she was talking about. Now I get it. She talked to your dad after you asked her for help, he fed her his line of bullshit, and because she worships the ground he walks on, she fell for it, hook, line, and sinker.”

Brendan’s entire body was tense by the time he was done talking, and he was holding me so tight that it kind of hurt. I looked up at him, and his anger was written all over his face. I hated that I had to ask him to keep this to himself, but nothing good could come from him confronting his mother about my plea for help. Not until I was out of this house.

“Please, Brendan. You have to promise me you’re not going to say anything to her about it,” I murmured. “She’ll just go right back to him. I know she will.”

“I don’t haveanythingto say to her,” he bit out, then looked down at me and took another deep breath. “I’m sorry, Dar. I’m not mad at you. I get why you don’t feel safe talking to someone about what’s happening. I’m mad at everyone who bought the stories your dad spun instead of believing a scared girl who was begging for someone to help her. I’m mad athimfor making you feel like you’re living with a ticking time bomb every second of every day.”

“I know,” I assured him. “I know you’re not mad at me. I just…that’s why I didn’t want to tell you. Because you have to live with your mom and know that she’s part of the problem, and you can’t even say anything to her about it because if it gets back to my dad, I honestly don’t know what’ll happen. Just…believe me when I say that the best thing I can do is keep my head down and grin and bear it for another four years, and then go to college somewhere far away so I can move out of the house.”

Instead of responding to that, he gave me a kiss that took my breath away. The kind of kiss that said more than words ever could about how he felt. I could feel so much love and heartache pouring out of him that it almost drowned me.

“I don’t know how yet, but I swear to God, I’m going to get you out of here as soon as you turn eighteen.” His voice broke at the end, and I heard a quiet sniffle as he rested his forehead against mine. “You’re not staying in this house a second longer than you have to. I promise you.”

I opened my mouth to respond, but a yawn came out instead. Talking about all of this had been emotionally draining. I was glad we’d had this conversation, though. Now everything was out in the open and I didn’t have any more secrets from him.

Brendan turned on my bedside lamp, then moved to get up, but I groaned in protest and tightened my arms around him. I knew it was late, but I didn’t want him to leave yet. Even though I knew it was dangerous because my dad could walk in at any second, I felt safer with him here.

“I’m not leaving yet,” he chuckled, kissing my forehead. “I’m just going to turn the light off so you can try to get some rest. But I’m going to stay with you until you fall asleep. Okay?”

I smiled. “Okay.”

He gave me another quick kiss, then got up and turned the main light off. I pulled my blanket around me before lying down, and he crawled in next to me. I stiffened a little bit as I realized that I was actually lying in bed with a boy. Even though we were both fully clothed, this was crossing a line there was no coming back from. And it was a slippery slope I’d just put myself on. I trusted him not to try anything else with me, but this was still wrong. Wasn’t it?

“I can hear the gears turning in your head, Dar,” he murmured. “Stop thinking so much.”

“I can’t help it,” I mumbled, my cheeks heating with embarrassment.

“Come here.” He pulled me into his arms, and I let him envelop me in an embrace as I rested my head on his chest. “I’ll never try to make you do anything you’re not comfortable with. If this is all you ever want to give me, I’ll die a happy man. There was a time not so long ago when even getting to kiss you or hold you like this seemed impossible. And the day that changed was the best day of my whole life.”

I smiled and looked up at him, and he kissed my forehead.

“It was the best day of my life too,” I told him. “That night, after you brought me home from the dance, when I was lying in bed and in more pain than I’d ever experienced in my whole life, I prayed and asked God to show me just a little glimpse of His plan for me. To show me that my suffering had a purpose. And He did. Two days later, you asked me to take a leap of faith with you and trust that He had a plan for us. For years, I’ve asked God for help. For strength. And you were the answer to all those prayers.”

Brendan pulled me up a little bit and gave me a soft, sweet kiss full of so much pure love that I thought I might explode.

“Close your eyes, baby,” he whispered. “Try to get some sleep. You’re safe with me.”

Chapter 17

Brendan

Headstrong

SIX WEEKS LATER

Irolled my eyes when I heard a rap on my bedroom door. I was finally free from school for three weeks, and I was in the middle of applying a base coat of paint to my cabinet from carpentry class so Nathan and I could start painting it tomorrow. And since he had a play date with a family from church, I knew there was no one on the other side of that door that I could possibly have wanted to talk to.

When Darla first told me about what my mom did – or rather, what shedidn’tdo – I’d honestly thought it would be easier to deal with it and just go on with my life. But every second that I was in this house was just a stark reminder of how little my mom cared aboutanyoneother than herself. And every time I looked at her, I wanted to just scream at her for showing so little care toward a scared girl who came to her for help. But I couldn’t do that, because I knew Darla was right. Anything I said to my mom would just get right back to Pastor Jones, and the only thing it would accomplish was putting the girl I loved in more danger.

“What, Mom?” I snapped, not even bothering to get up off the floor.

“Sweetheart, I have such a bad headache,” my mom moaned dramatically as she opened the door, pinching her forehead for emphasis. “Do you think you could pick Nathan up from his play date for me?”

How did I know that was coming?

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