Page 37 of My Vows Are Sealed

“Chris, this is my friend Darla,” she said. “Darla, this is my girlfriend, Christy.”

“It’s really nice to meet you, Darla,” Christy told her. “Heather’s told me a lot about you. She said you’re awesome with the kids at your church.”

“Especially with Brendan’s little brother,” Heather said, flashing me a grin.

Yeah, sure, she could just dig me deeper into this hole. That was fine. Not like this night wasn’t already a disaster of epic proportions.

Darla chuckled awkwardly, and if it was possible, her cheeks got a little redder. “He’s a sweet kid.”

Heather gave her a quick hug, then turned and looked at me. “I’ll see you guys at church tomorrow.”

I nodded, and the happy couple went back inside. Then I turned my attention to the heartbroken girl in front of me. I hated myself for being the cause of any of her pain, and I couldn’t help feeling like I was the reason for her shutting down like she had. I knew her dad was part of the equation too, but I felt like she would have been more open to what I was saying if I hadn’t screwed up so spectacularly.

But there was nothing I could do about it except try my best to make it up to her and hope that she’d give me another chance eventually.

“Come on, Dar,” I murmured, brushing a kiss on her forehead. “Let’s get you home.”

Chapter 11

Darla

Fade to Grey

The ride back to my house was silent. The kind of silence that was so heavy and thick that it threatened to suffocate me.

My head was such a jumbled mess of emotions, and I didn’t even know which way was up anymore. One minute, Brendan was showing up to the dance with Heather. The next, he was telling me that she was gay and he’d only come to the dance with her so he could spend time with me. And the next, he was kissing me and telling me that he’d chosen me a long time ago and he loved me.

Oh, my gosh. Brendan had kissed me. I’d had my first kiss tonight, and it was everything I’d ever imagined it would be and more. Well, realistically, I’d sort of pictured my first kiss as being awkward and weird because I wouldn’t know what I was doing. My dad even hated when I watched the kisses at the end of Disney movies and usually turned them off right before that part if he was in the room, so I literally had zero reference material. But somehow, none of it had mattered. In that moment, it was just automatic and effortless and absolutely perfect. My lips still tingled, and I could still taste the spearmint gum he’d obviously chewed right before he showed up at the dance tonight.

And the worst part was, my first kiss was probably going to be my last kiss. I shouldn’t have even given in tonight. I knew the rules in my house. I was not allowed to partake in any of the sins of the flesh, and if I did, I would be punished as the Lord commanded, along with the man I’d sinned with. And…well, I knew what the Lord had commanded for fornicators and adulterers, and it wasn’t something I wanted to test my father on.

Except that kissing Brendan, loving him, didn’t feel like a sin. It felt…beautiful. Pure. Like it was meant to be. For that one minute in time, everything felt right in the world. Just like it always did when he had his arms around me. Maybe it was stupid, but when I was with him, I just felt this sense of peace and safety that I’d never felt with anyone else before. Like God was trying to tell me that was where I belonged.

But allowing it to happen was against my father’s rules, and I knew what would happen if he found out about it. So I’d had to break both my heart and Brendan’s, because I wasn’t allowed to let it continue. I just didn’t know how to explain that to him.

Brendan pulled his car into my driveway and put it in park, then turned to look at me. The heartbreak I saw in his eyes killed me, and I hoped he knew how much my heart was breaking too. I hoped he knew that I wasn’t mad at him anymore and that if I’d had a choice, I would have chosen him. But there was no choice. My father’s word was absolute law.

“Brendan, I’m—” I started.

“Shh,” he whispered, putting a hand on my face and stroking my cheek with his thumb. “It’s okay, Dar. Just get some rest. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

I put my hand over his, and I knew I should pull it away, but I couldn’t. He cracked half a smile, but the anguish in his eyes remained. Then he leaned forward and pressed a feather-light kiss to my forehead.

“You looked beautiful tonight,” he said, his lips still touching my skin. “I didn’t get a chance to say that.”

Darn it. Why did he still have to be so sweet? My eyes stung for the thousandth time tonight, and the hundredth lump rose in my throat, but I swallowed down my tears. I couldnotstart crying again, not while I was about to walk back into my house – after getting out of a different car than I’d left in.

“Thanks,” I mumbled. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Though I had no plans to talk to him about any of this. I couldn’t. Because talking about it would just make it harder.

“See you tomorrow,” he said, his voice breaking.

I opened the car door, grabbed my purse, and got out, pulling my key out of my bag as I walked up to my front door. A sense of dread washed over me as I stuck the key in the lock, and everything in me was screaming to run back to Brendan’s car and ask him to take me somewhere else, anywhere else. But I swallowed my fear and opened the door…and found myself staring into my father’s hard, angry eyes.

“I instructed you that you were not to leave Naomi’s side at that dance,” he growled. “I instructed you that you were not to evenspeakto any boys. And what did you do? You got into a fucking car with a boy!”

Oh, my gosh, no. He’d seen Brendan in the car. And if he’d seen Brendan in the car, that meant that he’d seen him kiss my forehead. More tears started to bubble up as I thought about all the possibilities of what could happen to Brendan tomorrow morning just because he’d given me a ride home while I was upset, but I swallowed them down.

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