Page 32 of My Vows Are Sealed

Then she turned and strutted out of the room like she was on a catwalk, and it broke me all over again. Seeing herthishappy over her son asking a girl out broke my heart, because I knew she’d never be that happy if that girl had been me. She’d been doing everything she could to keep us apart for over two years.

Somewhere deep down, I’d known this would happen one day. The way Brendan had been acting lately, I’d allowed a little bubble of hope to start to rise, but I always knew I was reading way too much into things. He didn’t see me that way, and he never would. And he was too good of a person not to get any girl he wanted. Really, I guessed it could be a lot worse. Heatherwasa sweetheart.

But I didn’t know how I was supposed to stay friends with him. How was I supposed to act like nothing had changed between us wheneverythinghad changed? How was I supposed to eat lunch with him, sit in youth group with him, let him give me big, long hugs every time he saw me, and know that when I wasn’t looking, he was holding someone else? Kissing her? Doing things that I wished more than anything he was doing with me instead?

I couldn’t. I wasn’t strong enough to give him up completely, but I knew I had to take a step back. Re-draw the line. For my own sanity, and also for the sake of his new relationship with Heather. I got the feeling she wouldn’t be very happy about how close he and I had gotten lately, and I didn’t want to cause any problems between them. That wasn’t fair to either one of them.

Naomi walked into the room and came to sit next to me at the coloring table. “Hey. So, what’d your dad say?”

Again, I forced a smile. “He said I can go.”

She squealed in delight, hugging my shoulders. “Yay! It wouldn’t be the same without you.”

I nodded. “I’m excited.” A lump rose in my throat, and try as I might, I couldn’t keep it down. “I’ll be right back.”

I grabbed my purse, got up, and rushed out of the room, making a beeline for the bathrooms in the lobby. I darted into one of the stalls, and I hadn’t even locked the door before the tears leaked out and I started sobbing.

Not even thirty seconds later, I heard the bathroom door open again.

“Darla?” Naomi called. “You in here?”

“Yeah,” I croaked out, sniffling.

I saw a pair of feet come to stand in front of my stall, and she quietly knocked. “Can I come in?”

I unlocked the door and let it swing open, and her eyes widened as she took in my face. She came into the stall and shut and locked the door behind her, then turned around and pulled me into her arms.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” she asked. “You should be happy. Your dad’s actually letting you out of the house again.”

Another sob tore out of my throat. “It’s stupid.”

“My mom always says if something upsets you, it doesn’t matter how big or small it is. It’s not stupid,” she said as she rubbed my back.

“Miss Ruth…just said…that Brendan…asked Heather…to homecoming,” I managed to get out through my tears.

She gasped quietly, then tightened her embrace. “Oh, my God. I thought…I really thought he was going to ask you. I thought I was going to end up being a third wheel so you’d have a cover with your dad.”

I shook my head. “I always knew he never saw me like that. He thinks of me like a sister, not like a girlfriend. But…I can’t help it. That’s not how I see him.”

“Yeah, that’s kind of obvious to everyone,” she chuckled weakly. “And seriously, we all thought he liked you too.”

“Nope,” I sniffled. “I knew he didn’t. I knew this would happen eventually. I just didn’t know it would hurt this much.”

“It’s okay, sweetie,” she murmured. “You’re going to be okay. You’re going to meet someone one day. Someone who’s going to make you forget all about how much you like him.”

“I don’t just like him,” I sobbed. “I love him. I know it’s stupid. I know I’m too young to say that. But I can’t help it. This isn’t just a crush, Nay.”

“I mean, my parents met and fell in love when they were sixteen. They’ve been together ever since. I don’t think it’s stupid. When you know, you know. It doesn’t matter how old you are.”

“Yeah, but he doesn’t feel the same way, and even if he did, we all know my dad’s never going to let me date, so it’s pointless to even think about it,” I said, taking a deep breath and trying to calm my tears. “Anyway, we can’t stay in this bathroom stall all night. Someone’s going to come looking eventually.”

“We need to do something with your makeup,” she chuckled weakly. “It’s a mess.”

I couldn’t help it. I chuckled too. Ever since my mom had started to allow me to wear simple day makeup at the beginning of this school year, Naomi had been helping me and showing me different styles and techniques, so I could try different looks, but still stay within what my dad would think was acceptable. And I had to admit, I was kind of getting addicted to it. It wasn’t a vanity thing; it was just fun.

“That’s why I brought my purse in here,” I told her. “I’ve got stuff in it.”

“Come on. Let me help you,” she said with a smile.

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