Page 110 of My Vows Are Sealed

“How?” she choked out. “How can we do this? I’m scared, Brendan. We can barely support ourselves, let alone a baby.”

Yeah, I knew that. I made an okay living with my uncle, and between that and the financial aid Darla would be getting for her college expenses, she and I would have been able to support ourselves. But babies were expensive. I knew that probably better than a lot of guys my age because I’d seen how much money my parents had to spend making sure Nathan had his basic needs met.

“I know. But we’ll figure something out. We’ve got a little time,” I reminded her.

“We’re just kids,” she whispered. “I’m not even eighteen yet. What do I know about being a mom?”

I sighed. There was that too. And maybe the smart move would have been to give this kid up for adoption and try for another baby when we were older and more financially stable. But I couldn’t even begin to consider that. This baby was something that we’d created together, something that had come into being because of our love for one another. The thought of letting someone else raise it was too painful to even contemplate.

“About as much as I know about being a dad,” I chuckled weakly. “But I love this baby so much already, and I can’t even think about doing anything but raising it ourselves, even though we’re probably going to make a ton of mistakes and screw up royally. We’ll learn.”

A smaller arm snaked around my waist, and Darla and I both looked down at the exact same time to find Nathan joining in on the hug. I wanted to be mad at him for interrupting, but he was just trying to make sure his surrogate big sister was okay, and I couldn’t be upset about that. Darla needed people in her life who cared about her.

“Hey, little man,” she sniffled, lightly ruffling his hair. “Sorry I ignored you when I came in.”

“It’s okay,” he said quietly. “You weren’t feeling good. That happened to Billy’s mom when she got pregnant too.”

Damn it. Sometimes my brother was too smart for his own good. I knew he wouldn’t say anything about this on purpose, but if my mom thought that he was keeping something from her, she wouldn’t stop until she found out what it was. And if she found out, Darla’s father would learn about it within three minutes, and that would be a disaster of epic proportions.

“How’d you know?” she asked.

“I just guessed,” he mumbled. “And then when I came in to see if you were okay, I heard you saying you were scared because you don’t know how to be a mom. But you guys don’t have to be scared. You already know how to be parents because you’ve loved me and taken care of me for my whole life. Mom and Dad never loved me or paid attention to me or helped me learn things the way you guys do. That’s how I know you can do it.”

I smiled and let go of Darla with one arm so I could hug my brother. Leave it to the eight-year-old to drop an epic truth bomb at a time like this. He was right. I’d basically raised him without ever even realizing it. And even though she hadn’t lived with him, Darla had been more of a mother to him than my mom had ever been.

Darla broke down in tears all over again, and I squeezed her tighter and kissed her temple.

Nathan let go of me so he could hug her with both arms. “Don’t cry, Darla. It’ll be okay. Peter and Marie say that God chooses our families for us. God chose you guys to be this baby’s mom and dad, and that means He’ll help you find a way to take care of it too.”

See? Too smart for his own good. He was eight years old and he’d been able to figure out this whole situation in thirty seconds. Either that or he’d heard more of our conversation than we realized. Or both.

But he was right. God knew our situation right now. He knew our needs. And I had to have faith that He wouldn’t have let this happen if He wasn’t going to provide a way for us to make it work.

* * *

It was almost eleven at night by the time the knock finally came on my door. Darla shot up from the couch like lightning and dashed into the bedroom, pulling the door shut behind her, while I turned to look at Nathan.

“You know you can’t tell Mom about any of this, right, bud?” I whispered.

He nodded. “I promise.”

I half-smiled as I got up and headed for the door, pulling it open. My mom was standing there with a fake smile plastered on her face, and I had to fight the urge to slap it off. I couldn’t even stand to look at this woman anymore. If it wasn’t for the fact that I loved my brother more than I hated her, I would have told her where she could shove her fake Christianity and faux headaches a long time ago. But I knew she’d cut me off from seeing Nathan if I did, and I couldn’t stand to lose him.

“It’s almost eleven, Mom,” I said flatly as I opened the door to let her in. “You said the Bible study would be over by nine-thirty.”

“I know, honey,” she said in a syrupy sweet voice that dripped with disingenuity. “But Paula and I just got to talking, and we lost track of time.”

“Nate’s about to pass out. You ready to go, bud?” I asked, looking back at Nathan, who was still sitting on the couch.

“Yeah,” he mumbled. “I’m just tired.”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s not like it’s the school year. He’ll live.”

“And the fact that I have to be up at the crack of dawn to go to work means nothing to you, apparently,” I spat. “You’re not the only one with a life, Mom.”

I turned and gave Nathan a hug, and he squeezed me tight, like he didn’t want to leave. God, I wished I could just have him come live with me. I’d actually been thinking about talking to Darla about challenging my parents for custody. But now with the baby on the way, I knew we couldn’t afford to support him.

“I’ll see you at church in a few days, Nate,” I said quietly. “Love you.”

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