Page 223 of Out of Bounds

“You wanted to…be a dad?” I repeated.

Slowly, Ryan nodded. “Yeah.”

“And you…want to be…a dad?”

My question lingered in the air for a moment before Adam took another swig of his beer. “Yeah, he does. Because he’s a moron. You know what kids do? Fuck up your credit score.”

The game hadn’t even started yet but I suddenly needed a drink too. We had twenty-four minutes left on the clock, even time for a little buzz to wear off before the next obligation. I pushed up out of my seat. “Ryan, can you play for me?”

“What? Oh, yeah.”

"I’m going to go get beers," I announced. “Who wants a beer?”

“Guess who’s coming with you?” Zariah sang. “I forfeit, I’ll play the next round.”

"Hey?" Ryan reached for my hand. He looked concerned and his voice dropped low. "We were just kidding around. I didn’t freak you out, right?"

My heart beat in my chest. "No. Of course not."

"Okay."

As quick as I could, I headed to June’s kitchen, silently thanking the stars for the off-limits tag. People parted around me, making huge steps away while I walked in a straight line, breathing in deeply all the way there. I wasn’t panicking. It was more of a weird hurricane of emotions. Overwhelming adoration for my quarterback hit me like a truck and left me dizzy.

"Kass!" Zariah jogged up to me. “Hold on, slow down!”

I sucked in another breath. "I’m thinking of postponing UOD."

"What?" She met my stride. "Wait.What?"

I yanked open one of the coolers but Zariah put her hand on the top, shutting it before I could put my hand inside. She stared at me. Probably waiting for an explanation that made sense.

"Because…?" Zariah motioned for me to continue. "Because Ryan wantskids?"

"No."

"Becausewhat?"

"Because his pro schedule’s going to be even crazier than this," I blurted out. "Because I could get one more semester with him before I go to UOD." I wrapped my fingers around the handle of the ice cooler, not even to open it, just for something concrete to hold on to. "I already called them."

“Holy shit. So…this is like…in motion?"

"I don’t know. They said I’d just have to reapply again. And I’d lose my financial aid package."

Zariah breathed out through her nose.

I motioned her hand away and propped open the ice cooler. There was only a single beer inside. I’d have to go searching for the others. "And then, if I decide to stay—and Ryan and I break up—that’d be a huge fucking regret, because I missed out on OUD. And I wouldn’t want to work at the training center anymore so there goes my paycheck." I shook my head at her. "I don’t know."

"Kass…"

If I kept moving, I could think clearly. I went to the next ice cooler up on the table and the people around it gave us space. It was empty.

"I haven’t told Ryan anything," I admitted. "I can’t until everything’s on paper."

"Kass, are you doing this for you?" Zariah said gently. "Or are you doing this for him?"

I didn’t answer. I walked over to the fridge. A brand new ring of beers sat on the bottom shelf, a perfect find. Nothing for Ryan though. I knew he wouldn’t drink with practice tomorrow. I pushed aside items on the shelf, digging in the back, all while I could feel Zariah’s eyes on me.

"Him," I threw over my shoulder. "No question."