Page 28 of A Book of Royals and Deities

“You should have been resting.” He says it softly, but I know he is mad I’m not in bed.

“Hettie learning to swim is a big thing, and she asked me. I wanted to have a first with her that we can remember,” I admit, biting my lip. “You realise my monthly cycles, what I go through, means that I won’t likely be able to have babies. At least that’s what I’ve been told by many healers. I’m broken, Ziv. You are the king of the Moon Dynasty, and you’re talking about a future I might not be able to give you.”

He pauses, putting me down on a fallen tree. Ziven kneels in front of me and tucks a strand of my wet red hair behind my ear. “I don’t care. Fuck, I don’t even want kids with you because they’ll take you from me. They’ll take your attention and they’ll take your time. I don’t want that yet. But if you were to get pregnant”—he touches my stomach—“then fucking hell, I’d love that too. I don’t know what the deities have planned for us, but you are not fucking broken. You are not something that I need to fix, or repair, or wish for better. Your infertility is just another part of you, but it is you that I want. All of you as my mate, as my queen, and fuck, I’ll kill anyone that dares to ask about our future plans.”

There he goes, ruining me for anyone else. Stealing my heart could be an art form for Ziven, and branding it his day job. “You’re a king…”

“And you’re going to be a queen. Fuck the rest of them.” He cups my face. “I understand why you love Hettie so much and want the firsts with her. She loves you too and you never have to explain yourself to me. If you want us to try to get pregnant, then stop drinking the potions from Ruelle, and I’ll fuck you every day.”

I grin. “To make a baby or just for fun?”

He winks. “Both. If you want that, then ‘mother of my child’ will just be another honoured title among the many you own. I don’t care if we never have kids, I just want you. All of you. I’m a selfish fucker when it comes to you.” I know he means it and I love that he has clearly thought about this. “You’re mine. You’re all I want.”

“Where do you get the cakes from?” Kyrell questions from the other side of the door.

I chuckle. “Hettie bribes the cooks, and she always gets the best cakes. The novelty of being the only royal child around.” I shove another one into my mouth to appease my cravings, wishing that I could climb through the door and hug the sadness out of his eyes. I can see him through the bars of the dungeon door, but there’s a shimmering magic holding him back that can only be broken by unlocking the door. Not that Kyrell has ever tried to get through it…yet. I can’t shake the memories of what he did in the library out of my head when I see him. Sometimes I don’t see the Kyrell I loved, but a ghost of him. He looks sick and drained of colour, of everything that made him Kyrell.

Kyrell looks paler than he did when he first got here, and I know he’s not drinking much blood like he should. Ruelle has been in many times and said she thinks it’s because the body he is in is too broken, too damaged from the king’s attack, and she isn’t sure how long he actually has left. He can’t die. I won’t let him. There has to be a cure for vampyres; after all, they were made from fae. They must be able to be unmade. Or something. Anything. I glance at the bottles of blood on the side of his bed,wondering if he’s going to pick them up and drink eventually. “Are you okay? I kind of feel bad sitting here eating sugary foods like an animal while you can’t eat them anymore.”

“No, carry on. I like seeing you this happy, little Tory.” His nickname makes me smile around more cake. “He makes you happy, right? The Moon king with the dark eyes, grumpy attitude and pretty face?”

I nod. “We had a hard path getting here, but yes, he does. I love him and it’s real. He is everything, Kyrell.”

“No, you are everything, Story. Don’t you fucking forget that because of some good dick,” I blush at his crude words. “But that dick does happen to love you, too. I’m sure of it.”

“I wish I could get you out of here. It just… There’s nothing in the libraries. Nothing to help with changing you back or saving you. Yet.” He winces when I saylibrary. “Mazzis knows it wasn’t you. It wasn’t your fault, Ky. It’s not like you went for him on purpose.”

He looks away. “It still doesn’t mean it won’t happen again, and I had no control. I don’t even remember it, but you know what I hate the most?” I shake my head. “That when I came to, I could taste his delicious blood, and I wanted more. I craved more.” He laughs at himself, at his plain hands. “I can’t be safe around you because even now, I can smell your blood and I want to bite you. My magic’s gone, do you know that?” He turns his hands over. “I spent my whole life dedicated to healing people. I never hurt people and I never wanted to. The prince never made me until he turned me into this and sent me here. I felt my magic every day of my life until I was turned, and then it was just gone. Sometimes I feel it under my skin, like I can reach for it, but I just can’t.”

“I’m sorry.” My heart shatters because he saved me, and yet, I can’t save him in return.

He softly frowns my way. “Hey, don’t cry. I get to see you again. We get to talk. We never really got that in those last couple of weeks, did we? I never saw much of you until that day I got you out and it all went wrong. Every plan that I had went wrong, but you still ran. I was so proud of you for leaving me, Tory. It must have been hard.”

“I watched him kill you from above,” I admit.

He pales even more. “I remember the pain, and his face. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that face.” He shakes his head.

I change the subject to the future. He needs hope, and I can give him that. I can give him dreams. “When the barrier comes down, we could get you out of here, and we could find your mum. You could see her, and she is a fantastic healer. I’m sure she will help us search the world for a cure. Maybe, in time, she can find a cure.”

“Always dreaming and reading.” He softly smiles. “And hoping. Ziven is right, you are a storm. Everyone should fear the power of a reader with a stormy mind full of hope and dreams.” I want to reach for him as he stares right at me, like he can see that future. “I’m proud of you, you know that? For literally everything you’ve done. I know it must have been hard.”

“Why does it sound like you’re saying goodbye?” I accuse.

“I’m not.” He looks away from me, though. “I just want you to know that, that I’m proud of you and that I love you. I told you to burn it all down. I didn’t think you’d literally go and get yourself a dragon and accomplish that task with flair.”

I laugh with him. “She’s a pretty dragon, right?”

“All red, the very colour of your hair and of flames.” He wistfully sighs. “I hope to see you flying high in the skies, Story.”

There is that sadness again. That lack of hope that I want to fix for him. Kyrell was never the sad one of the pair of us. He was sunshine.

“Is there anything I can get you?” He shakes his head. “No, but you should get out of here. I can see you’re not well and you look pale. I’m guessing you snuck down here when you’re meant to be resting.”

“You know me too well.” I wrinkle my nose. “Don’t give up, Ky. I will never give up on you.”

He waits until I’m at the door and almost through it to reply. Only, I think he didn’t want me to hear. “That’s what I fear the most.”

Chapter Sixteen

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