Page 6 of Protected

“He’s older than you, right? He’s a lot older. I’m pulling up the website now.”

My stomach tightens as Sky hem and haws her way through the webpage.

“Okay, so he’s hot. You should definitely have fantasies about him.” She giggles as she says, “Approved.”

“Okay, well, thanks for the vote of confidence,” I laugh, relieved she hasn’t peppered me with hard facts. “What do you need security for, anyway?”

“Truthfully, I think it’s stupid, but my brother wants Carson to play bodyguard for me on a trip up to Wyoming next week.”

“What’s the trip for?”

Her tone drops as she says, “That’s another conversation. We’re being happy for you right now.”

“Wait, you wouldn’t let me get away with this. Tell me what’s up!”

She laughs. “I have to go up to Wyoming to see an ex, and yeah, Carson is coming with me.” Her tone turns playful as she says, “Bodyguard for the pregnant lady.”

“Why are you going to Wyoming to see an ex?”

“Because my things are there. Why aren’t you calling this security guy?” She loves changing the subject away from herself. It’s a thing. For right now, I let it slide. Whatever’s going on with her and the ex is going to be a sit down, in person, tell me what’s going on kind of conversation.

“We should get together this weekend and talk. Sounds like I need some holes filled.”

“Yeah, you do!” she snarks with laughter.

“Oh, God. I walked into that one. Well, I spent like half the night fantasizing about this guy ripping my clothes off and doing dirty, awful things to me. So, you’re probably right. I could use some hole filling.”

“You need this. A rebound. A guy to have fun with for a while, ya know?”

I drag in a breath and let it out slowly. “Yeah, well, Hank isn’t going to fuck with me. Have you seen him? He’s hot as hell.”

“And so are you!”

“No.” I shake my head. “I appreciate the compliment, but he’s way out of my league. He could do so much better than me.”

“Why do you do this to yourself?”

“Do what?”

“Cut yourself down.You’re literally gorgeous.I would pay money to look like you.” There’s conviction in her voice when she talks, but still, I’m not sure I believe her. “That asshole in Seattle said those things to cut you down, Dot. They’re not true. Trust me.”

My ex, Lonny, was great at first. He filled my ego in all kinds of ways. That probably should’ve been my first hint. No one is that good at compliments. Two months into the relationship, when he had me right where he wanted me, he turned into a psychopath. Suddenly, I was too fat, my nose was too big for my face, and my tits sagged far too low. My confidence went down slowly, and soon he found reasons to keep me from friends and family as well.

I decided to leave when he showed up at my office one day, shoved me into the back room, and threatened to leave if I didn’t quit and come home right that moment. Everyone at the news station saw it and I should’ve pressed charges. Instead, I came running home with my tail between my legs.

The amount of shame I felt… feel…for trusting someone who could do something like that is immense. I don’t want drama in my life. I don’t need it. That said, I left that relationship with lower self-esteem than I’ve ever had in my life.

I used to be proud of my shape and size. Sure, I’ve never been considered thin, but it never bothered me before Lonny. I love my curves, and I show them off every chance I get. Well, I used to.

Rationally, I know that my self-worth is determined by me. Unfortunately, the things he said are hard to get out of my head.

I pour out a bowl of cereal and smother the flakes in milk. “A night of sexual escapades would be good, but I’m not going to be bumping into security man anytime soon. So… doesn’t matter.”

“Oh my God, this is an easy one. Set off your alarm. It’ll trigger a response with their system, and when they call, tell them no cops are needed, but ask if they can send a tech to make sure everything is okay. Hank shows up, and boom, you lure the milk man into your house.”

“What? Milk man?”

“Yeah, you know… like the pizza boy or the pool guy. Insert your flavor of sexual servant here. You just wear something skimpy, bend over, pick something up, his dick mysteriously slides in, and boom, you’re pregnant with the man’s seven-foot spawn, and you live happily ever after.” She laughs. “What aren’t you getting about this?”

---