Page 8 of Savage Heart

How could she have been so damn stupid?

“Whatever the fuck, Bonnie.”

There were the sounds of shuffling movement, the shadows moving closer to the door. They were coming. They would open the door and see her standing there. Would they be shocked? Would they try to act like they hadn’t been fucking in the office? Or would they sneer? Laugh in her face? Would Trouble look her in the eye and tell her it had all been a lie? Would he snatch the last bit of her pride and actually admit that what they had was just him pity fucking her for over a year?

Despite the fear of discovery and even more humiliation coming, Liz couldn’t get her feet to move. She was paralyzed. Her body and heart stalled.

“Come on, Trouble, I’ll take care of that condom for you. Don’t wanna leave a mess in the prez’s office.”

If Liz wasn’t having an out of body experience, she’d laugh. She’d seen the bar; Odin didn’t give a fuck about messes.

“Fuck that, Bonnie. I don’t trust whores.”

There was a snort, then, “And you trust that fat bitch not to trap you with a fat baby? I’ve seen her. She knows she’s in over her head. She knows she can’t keep you. I know the type. She’ll trap you with a baby and you’ll have to claim her as your ol’ lady. You’ll be stuck fucking the ugly bitch for the rest of your life.”

Liz’s hand froze right over her lower belly, where her baby was growing. Erik’s baby.

There was a growl, then a humorless chuckle. “Fuck that. If she ever got pregnant, I’d make her get rid of it. No kids. Never. Especially not with a piece I’ve been lookin’ to scrape off for weeks.”

No.

That wasn’t right.

He’d been with her just that morning.

He’d held her as they slept, his bigger body curled around hers as if to protect her.

They’d made love, then they’d chatted about the coming weekend. About how he was going to work on the loose water hose in her car. They’d made plans. They’d kissed. They’d laughed and cuddled. He fucking looked her in the eyes and smiled at her…all the while knowing he was going to blow up her fucking life.

The ice in her veins bloomed outward, a chill wind along arctic waters, incapsulating everything in a freezing, cold tomb of frost.

She straightened, the blood draining from her face as she pushed back the fear, the pain, the hurt…and she let the anger flow. An ice-cold rage swallowed up all the soft, fleshy emotions that had once driven her. That had once chosen Erik Skaarsen.

Fuck Erik Skaarsen.

Fuck Trouble, Savage Raiders’ VP. Fuck him. “Trouble” was right.

Hewastrouble, just as she knew he would be, it had just taken thirteen months to see it. And she didn’t need trouble in her life. She had someone else to think about. Someone who would depend on her. Someone who would never know the ugliness of a father who didn’t give a shit about them.

Dropping her hand from her belly, Liz pulled her shoulders back, and turned on her heel.

Each step away from Trouble was jarring, her bones like freeze dried spaghetti. But she walked, passing the sneering men in leather vests, passing the smirking whores in less than nothing, and finally passing right out the door of the bar.

She didn’t stop moving until she was in her car, the bar and the ruins of her relationship in the rearview.

She didn’t stop breathing until she was home and curled up in her bed. Alone. Where the brokenness of her sobs set her chest on fire, stealing the air from her lungs.

She didn’t stop crying until two days later, when the phone calls stopped. When he finally gave up on trying to reach her. No doubt to make sure she’d seen and heard all he’d wanted her to. And not once had he stopped by. Not. Once.

She didn’t stop bleeding for weeks, until she saw that first little glimpse of the child that was now her priority. Her reason for living. She’d taped the sonogram picture to her fridge where she could see it every morning right before heading out to grind another day.

She didn’t stop aching until she sat down in her new one-bedroom apartment in Mission Hills, excited for the first day of classes the next morning. The specter of the man she loved, left behind in the flashing lights of the big city.

She didn’t stop pushing until she was walking across the stage for her diploma, her baby girl babbling happily at her from a friend’s lap in the audience.

She didn’t stop.

Ten Years Later….

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