Page 65 of Savage Heart

It was Liz’s turn to sigh. Closing her Kindle app, she lifted her head and met Trouble’s gaze. He looked tired; his eyes were bloodshot, the dark bags beneath his eyes looked heavy, and his beard looked like he’d been rubbing at it all day. Not to mention all the long locks of golden hair coming loose from the low bun at his neck. The man looked like he’d been rode hard, put away wet, then someone set the shed on fire.

“It was pure luck that I was there, actually,” she remarked, shrugging. “I’m just glad I could help her.”

Trouble smiled softly, a warm affection filling his eyes. “You looked good holdin’ that baby, Skizzy. A natural.” Suddenly, the smile dropped right off his face. He swallowed, and Liz could feel the tension rising, and she knew why. “I should have been there, when Erika was born. I should have been standin’ by the bed, holdin’ your hand, watchin’ my little girl come intothe world.” He squeezed his eyes closed, but not before Liz saw telltale glimmers there. He opened them again, and she felt the gut punch; sorrow and regret filled his gaze. “To not have seen her born, to not have seen you holdin’ her for the first time, not have held her in my arms that first time, to welcome her into the world, to tell her I loved her more than anythin’, and I would protect her with my very life…. That I wasn’t there kills me, Liz, kills me dead.” He got to his feet, his hands in fists at his sides. “And I know I only have myself to blame, baby, I know that. I just….” He sighed, stabbing his hand through his hair, making the whole thing come loose, his hair falling in loose waves over his shoulders and down over his chest.

Damn, the man was gorgeous, even in his anger…even in his despair.

Biting the inside of her cheek to keep from comforting him as her heart was telling her to do, she simply watched as he began to pace the floor. There wasn’t much room in there, so he came close to her on each pass, close enough for her to smell the sweat and desire of him. Close enough for her to see the way the muscles in his arms flexed and pulled at his swung them, or the way his ass bounced slightly as he walked by. She closed her eyes against the rush of longing, of desire to press her face against his chest and just breathe him in, to wrap her arms around him so he’d do the same, his strong arms tightening around her, holding her against the hardness of his abs, and then to brush her lips against his bearded jaw, to feel the wiry yet soft hairs against her face…and then to feel his warm, soft lips take hers, sip from hers….

Dammit!She really shouldn’t be reading vampire smut with him around.

Sucking in a deep breath, Liz rose to her feet, and reached out to touch Trouble’s shoulder. He halted immediately, his large body jolting as if she’d tased him.

He pinned her with wide, sharp eyes, a question there. Uncertainty. Wariness.

Weariness. He seemed exhausted, his great shoulders worn and abused from carrying a heavy weight for so long.

She stepped up to him, her hand sliding down from his shoulder to his chest, right over where his heart was pounding like a drum. The urge to comfort him was so strong now, she couldn’t just ignore it. He was hurting…and she knew a thing or two about hurt.

He sucked in a breath at her touch, making her body pulse with need—but she couldn’t go there with him, no matter how much her body wanted it. Nor her heart. Her head knew how illogical and dangerous it was to want Trouble, but the man was slowly chipping away at her walls; his open affection for Erika, his determination to be a good father, his dedication to his brotherhood, his strength and drive to protect her and Erika from the Russians…and now that she knew the truth about what really happened the night at Tipped, and why he’d done what he’d done…the anger she’d been feeling since they’d reunited was diminished.

…he did it for a good reason…he broke his own heart, too….Fae’s words from earlier brushed against her thoughts.

Was she fighting a losing battle?

“Yeah,” she began, bringing herself back to their conversation, her mouth twisting in a wry smile, “that’s pretty shitty.”

He snorted, making her narrow her eyes at him.

“But what happened, happened, Trouble. Do I wish you could have been there when Erika was born? Yes, I do. Do I wish you’d been there to help me those first months when I was going out of my mind, bawling my eyes out every night because I was so fucking tired and out of my depth? Yes, I do, just so I could throat punch you…then make you take her for an hour so I couldfucking shower. Do I wish you’d have been there for her first words, first steps, first day of preschool, first crush—” Trouble growled, and Liz rolled her eyes “—or her first A++ on her math test? Yes, to all of that.” She raised her other hand, placing it against his jaw, the beard scraped against her palm, making tingles break out on her arm.

She felt him tense at her touch, but then…he leaned into her touch, his eyes closing to almost slits, as though he was drawing on her for relief…for strength.

God, why did he have to show his vulnerabilities? He was a badass, for God’s sake! Didn’t that mean he should be a hard ass alpha-hole that grunted and spit fire? Why did Trouble have to be so goddamn squishy on the inside?

He’s always been like that, a voice that knew too much about their past murmured. Back when they’d first got together, Trouble had beenErik. He didn’t have the years of hard biker badassery to shape him yet. Back then, he was fresh from the Army, and still relearning civilian life. He’d been tough, rough around the edges, and an alpha to the nth degree, but he also kissed her softly, worshiped her slowly and thoroughly, cuddled with her, cared for her, and thought of her, texting multiple times a day, just to let her know she was in his thoughts.

And that’s what made his betrayal so fucking devastating. He’d taken something so precious, so rare, and he’d tainted it with his lies.

She dropped both her hands from his body, and took a step back. His eyes flashed with something like disappointment.

“But we can’t go back and change the past, Trouble, we can only figure out the now, and that means figuring out how you fit into our lives. You can be in her life now, Trouble. That means picking up when she calls, that means going to every parent-teacher conference, every school concert or play, and being there for special occasions.”

His eyes danced as he smirked. “I can do all of that, baby; Iwantto do all of that,” he declared. His hand cupped her face, his calloused thumb brushing over her cheek.

Heat blasted through her from a single swipe, and she pushed back the full body shudder his touch aroused.

Come on, brain, click on!

His smirk turned wicked, and his eyes grew hooded as if he knew what she was fighting.

“I want all of that with Erika, but make no mistake, baby, I plan to be so deep in your life, you can’t get me out. You won’twantto get me out.”

She opened her mouth to tell him to fuck right the fuck off, but he silenced her with a quick kiss. Startled, she slammed her mouth shut. Breathless, she couldn’t stop him from pressing another kiss against her lips, this one a little harder than the last, and the next kiss brushed against her cheek. This one was longer…as if he were absorbing the feeling of his lips against her flesh.

Finally, he pulled away, and Liz nearly tumbled into him, her legs almost giving out. She caught herself just in time, though, thankfully. There was no need for him to see how easily he affected her.

But he knew anyway, the shit-licker.

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