Page 31 of Savage Guardian

Let go of her. Look up at me. See me. Choose me.Last night meant something, hadn’t it? He’d left that club woman to come look forher,he’d sat withher, talked withher, had kissedher. That had to have meant something. Right?

Wrong.

As she sat there, watching Carrie giggle up at Hawk, who was still standing there, Carrie in his arms, against his body, close enough to kiss, Fae’s fantasy of Hawk storming into the hotel suite, sweeping her up into his arms, and stealing more kisses, faded into nothing.

Clearing her throat, she scooted her chair back and slowly rose to her feet.

Finally realizing Carrie wasn’t alone in the room, Hawk lifted his gaze from Carrie and saw her. The desire there for Carrie swiftly guttered out, leaving only confusion…and something far more gut-wrenching.

Regret and disgust. He’d regretted their kiss, was even disgusted by it—now that the light of day had come. And why wouldn’t he regret it? Why wouldn’t remembering who she was and what she looked like make him sick to his stomach after the kiss they’d shared? She obviously wasn’t who he wanted.

He probably only kissed you because he was drunk, and you were there, and you were practically begging him to give you the time of day.How pathetic.

Swallowing the ball of tears burning that back of her throat, Fae offered a forced greeting, and grabbed her overflowing canvas bag from beneath the table. With a quick look at Carrie, whose eyes were glittering with poisonous mirth, Fae sidestepped the couple and hurried toward the door, not even bothering to stop the tears once the door closed behind her.

In all his life, after all the shit he’d done, he’d never felt as much of an asshole as he did in that moment. And he’d nearly killed his a man once.

He’d known Fae was there the moment the door cracked open. He could feel her eyes on him, could smell her sweet, warm scent, could feel the yearning and desire for her licking through his blood. Her presence was like nothing he’d ever experienced before—a powerful, magnetic pull that both drew him in and held him in place, grounding him yet making him fly. It was heady, drugging, addicting.

Which was why he couldn’t let what happened last night happen again. And he couldn’t let what he felt for her destroy the hard-won clarity he’d fought all night to obtain. After she’d gone, and after the emergency Church meeting, he’d spent the night in his room at the clubhouse, staring into the ceiling, and going over—over and over and over—all the shit that had landed in his life.

Meeting Carrie, meeting Fae, befriending Fae, the growing suspicions and confusions with Carrie, and now the threat of an unknown hacker breeching the SP servers for information on both women, and then digging through the Raider’s servers for information onhim…. It was all too much to filter through at once, and something had to give. And the only thing that had struck him harder and deeper than anything in too long was the surge ofsomethinghe felt with Fae.

And it terrified him like nothing had in years.

He’d already promised Odin that he’d break that connection with Fae and focus on his job guarding Carrie, so it wasn’t like he was doing anything wrong when he came into the hotel suite and completely ignored the small, beautiful woman sitting at the table, her wide eyes taking him in as if the very sight of him lit her up inside. It wasn’t wrong of him to let Carrie throw herself into his arms and then hold her up so she didn’t fall. It wasn’t wrong of him to stare down into Carrie’s face and admire just how sexy she was in that next to nothing nightgown. It wasn’t wrong of him to completely dismiss the other woman as if she meant nothing to him, all the while knowing full well he was hurting her.

It was all for the best. For the job. For his sanity.

So why did it feel like his heart had been scooped out of his chest with a rusty shovel and thrown into a vat of acid—still beating?

Once the door clicked shut, signaling Fae’s exfiltration—her swift exit from what she felt was hostile territory, he dropped his arms from around Carrie and took a step back.

She pouted up at him, arching her back to better show her tits, not that they were all that well hidden in her attire. He wanted the throw his suit coat around her shoulders, because she had to be cold in that getup.

He walked to the couch nearest the door and sat facing the room at large. He never put his back to the door. It was security 101.

Carrie, who usually took his presence in stride and did her own thing while he worked, slunk toward him slowly, exaggerated hip swinging and all, then plopped right down on his lap.

He didn’t even have the chance to breathe before she opened her mouth and venom wrapped in sugar came spilling out.

“Sorry if Fae was a bother last night. I know you didn’t have to invite her to your clubhouse, but you’re a good guy, and you felt bad for her.” Yeah, he knew what she was going, but he couldn’t help the voice in his head telling him to listen. She was his Aoibheal, after all. He’d been looking forward to sitting with her, talking with her, and her words should hold more weight with him than anyone’s.

But, in this instance, about Fae, she was wrong. Hawk opened his mouth to set her straight, tell her he’d invited Fae because he actually wanted her there with him at the clubhouse. But before he could get a word out, Carrie continued.

“She’s pushy and irritating, and she has this woe is me about her, ya know, that fools people into thinking she’s the poor little innocent when she’s just really good at putting on a mask.”

The pit of his stomach rolled, a ripple of unease pushing up against long-sealed wounds. Like churning magma and tar thrusting toward the surface of a long, dormant volcano.

“What do you mean?”

Carrie stroked her fingers down his chest to his abs, taking liberties he usually wouldn’t have minded, but he was on duty, she was his client, and…well, he wasn’t feeling it. Not with Carrie.

“I mean, Fae is a little schemer. She uses her plain face and frumpy looks to trick people into thinking she’s harmless, when in truth she’s playing you. Like, one time, there was a man I was interested in, and Fae was jealous because he wouldn’t give her the time of day, even though she was practically throwing herself at him.”

That pit in his stomach cracked open, scorching hot lava bubbling out, coating his insides. This…what Carrie was saying about Fae…was too familiar.

“When he chose me over her, she made a scene at school, claiming he had sex with her and told everyone about it, got him suspended and nearly arrested. After that, she always brings it up whenever I do something she doesn’t like, reminding me she can ruin everything if she wants.”

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