Page 27 of Love By a Landslide

“Fruit snacks. I brought a bunch of them. Would you like some?” Lucy looked at him, a little baggie held out in an effort to share.

Jonathan looked down at the offered snack. Reaching in, he pulled out a small handful of the chewy treats. They were round with smiley faces stamped on each one. “Do you always eat like a four-year-old or only when you hike?” His voice was coarse as he tried to banish the last of his problematic thoughts. He popped a couple into his mouth and cringed at the intense “fruit” flavor.

With mock outrage, Lucy gasped. “How dare you, sir. I ate my entire PB and J, including the crust. If anything, I eat more like a nine-year-old, thank you very much.” Her feigned offense gave way to amused giggles. “And I can’t believe you would take a handful of my fruit snacks and then insult me. It’s bad form.”

Jonathan struggled to decide whether to choke down the rest of the gummies in his hand or to chuck them in the woods when Lucy wasn’t looking. But his dad’s voice played through his head—you always have to pack it in and pack it out, son—followed by his mom’s—don’t throw away perfectly good food, sweetie.While he could have argued that what he held wouldn’t really be classified as “perfectly good food,” he couldn’t argue with the pack-it-in-pack-it-out principle. Plus, he was pretty sure these things would kill any chipmunk or bird that had the misfortune of happening upon them. That was a guilt that he wouldn’t allow onhis conscience either. He tossed the rest in his mouth and muscled through while Lucy smiled a little too sweetly at him.

“So, what’s the plan for the rest of the afternoon?” Lucy tipped back her water bottle and drained its contents.

“Once we’re done eating, we’re going to leave our bags here and continue up to the summit. After that, we’ll head back down, set up camp, and enjoy the rest of the evening.”

“Will our packs be safe? What if someone comes along and steals them?”

“I highly doubt anyone will sneak into camp and take our stuff. What we need to be most concerned about is the wildlife, but that’s why we’re going to hang our backpacks up in a tree,” Jonathan explained, finishing the rest of his food and dusting his hands on his pants.

“Well, what if something else happens? What if we get lost or hurt? Our supplies won’t do us any good down here while we’re all the way up there.” Nervousness laced her words as she made no effort to conceal her concerns.

This was the first time today that Lucy had shown unshielded apprehension. Moments of self-doubt peeked out around her stubborn exterior back at the office, but on the trail, she had been so determined even while struggling. Why was she acting so skittish now?

“I have a small pack in my bigger bag that I’ll be bringing with us. It has the essentials: first aid kit, space blanket, nutrition pucks. Should I go on?”

Worry played over Lucy’s face, and Jonathan didn’t like it. He felt compelled to help her feel comfortable during this trip, more so than he had on any other. Walking over, he stepped in front of her and placed a hand on each shoulder. He stooped down so they were eye to eye. “I promise I will have everything we need. I’ve done this whole trail more times than I can count andwith people much less experienced than you. Everything will be fine. Ok?”

Lucy held his gaze and, after a moment, nodded. “Ok.”

He meant to pull away just then but held her a couple of heartbeats longer than he should have. It would have been so easy to lean in and quell her worries with a gentle kiss. Heat tickled over his lips at the thought. But one wouldn’t satisfy him; Jonathan was sure of that. And it wouldn’t end well either. Even if an affair didn’t manage to tarnish his business, there was something about Lucy that made him feel like a fling wouldn’t be enough. And he wasn’t willing to risk another serious relationship. Too much could go wrong.

Letting his arms fall back to his sides, Jonathan moved away from Lucy and busied himself with his things. “Take ten minutes to relax, snap some pictures, use the privy—there’s a good spot behind those bushes—and we’ll roll out as soon as I get these packs lifted.”

Lucy put her lunch bag away and pulled out her phone and a baseball cap before handing her backpack over to him. After donning the hat, she explored the little campsite and took a few photos, ooh-ing and ahh-ing as she went. Jonathan watched her with a hunger in his gut despite the hefty lunch he had eaten a few minutes ago. He really had to get it together or the next forty-eight hours were going to be brutal. Tying their packs together, he tossed the rope over a limb and hoisted them up out of the way. He expertly secured the end of the rope around the tree trunk, whispering a silent prayer that his self-control would hold out as long as he expected the solid knot would.

Chapter fifteen

Lucy

The view from the summit was astounding, and Lucy could see for miles and miles as they stood at the top of Mount Stuart. Her heart pounded, in part from exertion but mostly from elation. She’d made it. She hiked to the top of a damn mountain. There was a raw and unfiltered connection to the rock under her feet and the air she breathed as though she belonged in that spot right at that moment, and while the expanse of the surrounding range should have made her feel small, filling her with a sense of quiet reverence, the predominant emotion she felt was big, beautiful joy.

Accomplishing this feat, struggling through wobbly legs and burning lungs was freaking empowering. And she buzzed as though she were a long-ignored appliance that had suddenly been plugged into a wall socket. Her soul roared to life, and she could hardly contain the trembling electricity coursing through her body.

The last few years, she’d been lost. Swallowed up in Brodan’s world as she longed for adventure yet excused it away in the same breath. Her days consisted of working at her desk or following Brodan to clubs and swanky bars with overpriced bottle services and deafening music. Everyone around her was as lost as she was yet desperately trying their best to feel like they belonged.

Lucy was never so deluded as to think that she was in the right place on those nights out. But she had learned from ayoung age—mostly by watching how her mom sacrificed for her dad—that sacrificing for your partner was what you did. She gave up a part of herself so that she would fit neatly into Brodan’s life. Moved into his apartment, opted to spend time with his friends, and frequented his favorite spots. The types of takeout they ordered, the wine they drank, and the art pieces picked out for the walls in “their” apartment. All of it . . . his call.

She didn’t blame him, because shecouldn’tblame him. She’d made the decision to dissolve into a life that filled her with little satisfaction or happiness. And it wasn’t an overnight adaptation either. Charmed by another way of living that was so different from how she grew up seduced her, but it was ultimately unfulfilling. Much like a fluffy ball of cotton candy a child gravitates toward at a local fair, it tasted sweet at first but left her longing for something more substantial later. And with a belly ache to boot.

This view, though. This adventure altogether was the substantial thing that Lucy had craved for so long but never really thought she could ever have again. She was glad Brodan wasn’t here with her because he would have tainted the experience. He would have complained about how dusty the trail was, or how heavy his pack felt on his back, or that there were too many bugs. Either that or he would have turned the whole thing into a dick-measuring contest with their guide. She could clearly picture her ex trying to compete with Jonathan in strength and speed, bragging about how much he could lift at the gym or how fast his mile was. Lucy couldn’t decide which scenario would have been worse.

No. She was glad to be at the summit of Mount Stuart without him. Glad they had broken up so she didn’t have to pretend to like what he liked anymore to earn the label of supportive girlfriend. Instead, she could indulge in the selfishnessof doing whatever the hell she wanted—for once in her life.

A slight welling of tears threatened to escape the confines of her eyes. But before she could cry, a burst of energy bubbled up and erupted from her throat. “Waaaahoooo—”

A hand gently covered her mouth and cut off her primal celebratory shout. “Shhhhhh . . .” Jonathan spoke quietly as he stood behind her, his other hand placed lightly at her waist. “You’ll scare them off.”

He removed his hand from her mouth and pointed at a rock ledge about twenty yards away. There stood a mother mountain goat and her two kids, traversing their way around the two hikers. The fluid movements of all three, even as the little ones bounded and leaped playfully about, were awe-inspiring.

“They’re so graceful,” Lucy whispered, leaning back ever so slightly, unconsciously settling against Jonathan’s chest.

“They’re sure-footed from the jump. Within days of being born, the kids are capable of following their mother almost anywhere.” His breath played through the wayward strands of her hair as it drifted past her ear. His heartbeat thrummed against her back, quick and erratic.Or is that my heart?The proximity made it too hard to discern whose was whose, and the sensation was titillating. She liked being this physically close to him.

---