Page 11 of Love By a Landslide

“Ah, yes, O’Malley. We have been expecting you.” Gunther disappeared below the counter, his wispy gray hair flopping up with the quick descent. A moment later, he popped up and ceremoniously tossed a handful of rose petals in the air above Lucy. “We are so happy that you and Mr. O’Malley chose the Wilhelm Haus Inn for your stay. We are the perfect place for a romantic getaway.”

“Yes, well, about that—”

“You have selected the romance package. This includes a bottle of wine and chocolates.” He rambled, hands clasped together, not even noticing Lucy trying to cut in.

“I won’t be needing—”

“Your room also has a private hot tub.” Leaning in, Gunther lowered his voice, “And complimentary massage oil.”

“Gunther!” Lucy raised her voice, feeling instantly guilty, but she didn’t know how else to make it all stop. “Thank you, but all of that won’t be necessary. It’s just me checking in.”

Gunther’s face fell, and his eyebrows drew together in a mix of embarrassment and sadness. He absently smoothed down his hair then lowered his hands to the desk. “Oh, dear. I am so sorry for the mix-up. Oh, dear.”

Lucy sighed. “It’s ok. I’m sorry I shouted at you.” She patted the man’s hand and continued, “And being here by myself is a good thing. There’s no need to worry. All I want is to settle in”—her stomach let out an audible rumble—“and apparently, get some dinner.”

A sparkle glinted back into Gunther’s light blue eyes. “Then you must go to The Rooftop Tavern just down the street. Best food in the whole town, in my opinion. It’s more of a local spotand,” he lowered his voice again, though no one else was in the lobby, “a little less touristy. Tell Stella I sent you.”

Gunther handed Lucy the key card to her room after she signed the necessary forms.

“You’re in room 315, up the stairs, fifth door on your right. You have a charming view of the mountains off the balcony. Oh, also,” Gunther ducked down under the desk again for a full minute. Lucy could hear the beep of a number pad, a quiet curse, then the number pad again. After another failed attempt, she heard the groaning complaint of a small safe as it finally gave way. Once it closed, Gunther popped back up. He held out a small card to Lucy. “Here’s a little something to apologize for the mix-up earlier.”

Lucy looked at the twenty-five-dollar gift card for The Rooftop Tavern and smiled. “Thank you, Gunther. You’re very sweet.”

“Enjoy a burger and a good German beer on me, Frau.” He smiled warmly. “And if you need anything, please don’t hesitate to ring down. Enjoy your stay.”

Lucy scanned the key card for her room. She turned the handle, and with a loud creak, it opened. She walked in, flipped on the lights, and froze.

“What the actual fuck . . .” Her voice trailed off as she surveyed the ghastly scene before her. Rose petals strewn everywhere, two towels folded into swans lay on the end of the bed with a bottle of massage oil snuggled between them. She walked over and picked up the oil. Shuddering, she set it on the credenza beside the TV that quietly played smooth jazz. On a small table,a handful of chocolates flanked an ice bucket, chilling a bottle of bubbly. The whole horrendous scene was capped off by red and pink streamers draped from every corner of the room and an absurdly large bouquet of heart balloons floating beside the bed.

Lucy pinched the bridge of her nose, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. Pulling out her phone, she snapped a couple of pictures of the nauseating scene and sent them to Todd.

Lucy:

I forgot to cancel the romance package…

She carried her suitcase to the closet and set it on the luggage rack. Her phone buzzed.

Todd:

LMFAO! That’s a sexy setup!

Lucy:

The best part is the edible grape massage oil. Who the hell picks grape?!

Todd:

They probably got a case of it from the sex shop clearance shelf. HA!

Lucy:

Probably…

Todd:

Now all you have to do is find a hunky lumberjack to bring back to your room and slather his grapes with that stuff. *wink wink*

Lucy:

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