Page 15 of Give Me All Of You

“Hey baby.” Her voice graveled.

Peace looked from me to her mother and laid her head on my shoulder. The shit before me broke my damn heart, and I didn’t know how much longer I could keep this facade up that I was strong because I wasn’t.

“Thank you f-for bringing h-her,” she responded before going into a coughing fit. My mother sprang right into action and grabbed her some ice chips and placed them in her mouth so that she could suck on them. That’s been better for her than trying to suck out of a straw.

“I told you not to thank me for doing what needs to be done, Lu. She’s your daughter, so of course I’m going to bring her to see you.” I was holding back my own tears as I watched the ones in Lucretia’s eyes to swell before they cascaded down her now ashen skin.

While our mothers did everything to make her comfortable, I watched as she silently cried. That shit tore my muthafucking soul into pieces. I literally had to watch the love of my life deteriorate right before my eyes. I wouldn’t wish this shit on my worst enemy. Some days, I thought this was my karma for taking so many lives, but then again, I never killed a muthafucka just for the hell of it. Every life I took could be accounted for. I never cheated on her, so I looked at is as if I was meant to be by myself because even though she made me promise, I didn’t see myself allowing myself to love another woman. The day thatLucretia takes her last breath would be the day that she takes my heart with her.

“Son, did you hear me?” My mother’s voice brought me back to the present. I often found myself getting caught up in my thoughts.

“No, I didn’t,” I responded.

“I said, I’ll take Peace back home with me. She’s teething, and I know she’ll be fussy later. You stay here with Lu and let me take care of her,” she offered. As bad as I wanted to decline, I didn’t. I needed to be able to decompress and come to terms with this and not break down in front of my child. She may not know what’s going on, but like now, she can sense that something isn’t right.

“Thanks, Ma. I’ll be by in the morning to check on her, if not tonight.” She nodded.

I knew Teresa was staying, so if I needed to leave, it would be no problem. My mother stayed a little longer until Peace started to get fussy. That was her cue to take her back to the house and lie her down. As I walked them back outside, I hugged my daughter tighter than I ever had before. My heart broke for her. She’ll never have the luxury of having two parents that she could remember. Who knew if she would even remember her mother at all?

“Everything will be fine, baby. We’re all hurting, so we’ll all get through this together. Lu will always be our family.” She assured me.

After kissing my daughter, then my mother, I headed back inside and asked Teresa to give us some privacy. The way she was breathing, I could tell that she had fallen back to sleep. That didn’t stop me from sitting in the chair beside the bed andgrabbing her small, frail hand. Gently rubbing my thumb across it, I held it up to my mouth and placed a soft kiss on it.

“You know, I still think about the first time that we met,” I said softly. “You wanted to beat my ass.” I laughed.

The day that Lucretia and I crossed paths, I was in the mall with my brother, getting ready for our birthday. It was my twenty-first and his twenty-second. We were looking for outfits and I had to pick up the grill that I ordered for today. I already had one, but this one was platinum and filled with diamonds. I was too busy smiling to notice her and her sister, and I bumped right into her small frame, knocking her and her bags to the ground. Immediately, I felt bad and reached down to help her up, but she snatched her hand back from me.

“Move!” She shoved my hand out of the way before scrambling to her feet with the prettiest frown on her face that I have ever seen. Her caramel colored skin seemed to glisten as the sun beamed through the skylight of the mall. Her blonde dyed hair was cut in a layered bob with one side swept behind her ear. She had eyes the color of honey and couldn’t be any taller than five feet even. That didn’t stop the giant personality that she carried around.

“I apologize, shorty. I didn’t see your pretty ass.” My compliment caused her to blush. As a peace offering, I invited her to our party, and we’ve been together ever since.

“If I could go back to that day, I would go the other way. I would be better off not knowing you than knowing and loving you, only for you to leave me, Lu. I don’t know how you expect me to live, let alone love, without you in my life, baby. I just don’t see it.”

For the first time, I cried out in the open and not in the shower. This shit was unbearable, but I know I had to getthrough it. Not only for me, but for Peace. I can’t neglect her of a father, too.

Chapter Seven

JaRue

a few weeks later…

Things have been quiet since the incident at the club that night. I expected Kari to run and tell her brother that she saw me out with another man, but he had said nothing to me, nor has he called to check on our daughter. That wasn’t unusual and if I’m being honest, I preferred it that way. I was off today, so Journei decided to have a girl’s day while Infiniti was in daycare. I used to feel guilty about doing stuff like this, but my mother assured me that every mother needed time to themselves. We just got finished with our manicures, pedicures, and facials. Now we were headed to Charme to do a little shopping. With the bonus that I received from Knasim and Knight. I was able to do nice things for myself and not feel guilty or worrying about not being able to pay a bill or get gas. We were currently browsing through the racks while Journei sparked up a new conversation.

“So, have you heard from Hassan?” she asked.

Briefly cutting my eyes at her, I went back to looking through the racks before I entertained her ass.

“No, I haven’t. Why would I?”

Shrugging, she replied, “I was just checking. I’ve been talking to his brother, and he asked me about you, is all. And I kind of gave him your number the last time I talked to Rakeem, and he was around,” she confessed.

“What? Why would you do that?”

“Because you need somebody to tap ya damn cervix, that’s why. I know that damn rose can’t get the damn job done like you want. Fuck Keith and his old gray hairy balls having ass.” That caused me to cackle loud as hell in these people’s establishment.

“I can’t stand you,” I said through my laughter. “But uhm, what have you and Rakeem been talking about, Miss Ma’am?”

“Nothing much. Just friendly conversation if I’m being honest. He has a lot going on and he seemed like he needed a friend. Don’t get me wrong, he’s fine as hell, but since I’m not a thirsty bitch, I can settle for the friendship.”

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