Page 81 of Movers and Shakers

My smile fell. Why did I say it was okay? Was it some part of me mourning Lila’s leaving and wanting something—someone—who reminded me of her to be around?

I couldn’t keep a woman around because she reminded me of someone else. That was a shitty move and I refused to be that guy.

I only shrugged. “I keep running into you, I guess. It was the least I could do.” It didn’t appease the pang of guilt in my chest. “Let me get you your drink. A cranberry juice and soda water?”

“You remembered?”

“I try to. Let me get it for you and then you can enjoy yourself.”

And I could get away from this conflicted feeling around her. But could I? Whether with her or not, there wasn’t much in my life that I wasn’t conflicted by.

The thought sank into my chest. I was a fool to think she wouldn’t notice it.

“Are you okay?” she asked loudly. “You seem . . . off.”

“How would you know if I’m off?”

“Let’s call it intuition. Want to talk?”

Say no.It would be easy to, but shelookedlike a person I could open up to. A feeling overtook me, one I didn’t know how to deal with.

“Yes.” No one was more surprised than me as I said it and her eyebrows raised as if she didn’t expect that answer herself.

“Can we go somewhere quieter?”

“I have just the place.”

The rooftop was just for me. It was a place I desperately wanted to take Lila to, but with her fame, I knew she couldn’t. I sometimes sat out there when the weather was comfortable and watched everything.

Small fairy lights illuminated the space. Rose looked around with wide eyes. “Wow, this is better than I imagined.”

“You imagined it?”

She blankly stared at me, then blinked away the expression. “I mean, most places have something like this . . . I thought maybe it was for VIPs.”

“I didn’t want to be like the rest.”

“That’s what you’re good at.” She gave me a smile, one that could have been flirty.

And if she had dark hair, I’d flirt right back.

I broke eye contact, looking out at the city. Where was Lila? Was she okay?

“Barry?” she asked.

“Sorry,” I said. “I have a lot on my mind.”

“Tell me, then. I’ll listen.”

I didn’t do this. I didn’t let anyone in. I tried not to with Lila since she had so much more going on, but having her near made mewantto. I was spilling at the seams, and while Rose wasn’t the one I desperately wanted, she was here.

Which made me feel even worse.

“It’s . . . I . . . I don’t even know how to begin.”

“Probably at the beginning. Wherever that is.”

“That might take a long time.”

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