Page 190 of Movers and Shakers

“Yes. Them. I was so nervous they knew.”

I wanted to lie and say they didn’t, just so she would feel a little better.

But that wasn’t the right thing.

“Mom, a secret like this is huge. People are going to know.”

“But—‍”

“I need a support system. I need people I trust so that I can be myself with them and so they can help me keep everything straight. I know you didn’t want me to tell anyone, but they have to know.”

The words hung heavy in the air. Mom’s eyes were wide and I saw the spark of defiance in them. She was going to argue.

“Linda,” Dad started, “you know she’s right. She’s kept this to herself and it’s gotten more complicated over the years. This isherlife too. Not just yours.”

“And even if it all blows up someday, I have people who can protect both me and you. You haven’t met her, but my new agent, Malia, is incredible. She works so hard and even helped me cover my tracks so no one knows. And today, Ruth saw me stressing about the show and made me have fun so I could breathe for a second. And ithelped.Living a double life keeps people safe, but what’s the point if no one actually knows me?”

“You’re right. Iknowyou’re right, but I’m so . . .‍” She shook her head and turned to Dad. “Can you call an emergency session? I should talk to my therapist about this.”

“Of course.”

“And . . . I don’t know if I can see your show.”

“It’s okay. I have a ton of other ones. I’d rather have you take care of yourself.”

“Thank you,” she said. “I’ll get better. Ineedto.”

“And I’ll be here until she does,” Dad added. “No more miscommunication. If I return to traveling, I’ll be sure everyone is okay with it.”

A weight lifted off of my shoulders. Dad wasn’t going to flip a switch and leave.

It wasn’t justme.

“Thank you,” I said. “I’ve beensostressed—‍”

“Come here, kiddo,” Dad said in that same soft voice he’d used with Mom. “You look like you need a hug.”

I really did. He wrapped his arms around me, giving me an embrace I didn’t know I needed. Mom joined in, and for once, this didn’t feel like a split family. Things were shifting.

And we were entering an era of healing.

Barry

The second I got back, I went to my hotel room to grab my guitar. I’d brought it on impulse, but something in the back of my head told me I would need it.

I’d taken to playing the setlist whenever I missed her, which meant I was in perfect practice for this. I could step in like I was never gone, even if I remained backstage.

But then what? How long would it take for them to find someone else? How long did I have before I was needed back at Movers and Shakers?

The future wasn’t clear, which was terrifying.

I got through four of the songs before there was a knock at the door. I paused to answer it and found Tom on the other side.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“You were off after Malia talked to you. I’m worried. And Ruth is too. She would have joined, but I told her not to. She’s a little more intense than I think you need right now.”

“I’m fine,” I muttered.

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