Page 102 of Movers and Shakers

“Did it really affect you that much?”

I knew I should tell her it didn’t, but I also couldn’t lie.

“I fear I’ll never be able to look at another woman without comparing them to her.”

“Oh.” Rose’s eyes went wide. “It was that serious?”

“I tried to focus on her, but in the end, it only pushed her away. It’s why you and I can’t have anything more. I’m sorry.”

She was silent for a long time, and when I looked over, her lips were pursed. “It’s okay.”

“You’re disappointed.”

“Not in you,” she said. “Just in some choices that were made.”

“By me.”

“By the woman who broke your heart,” she said. “I feel it like . . . likeIdid it.”

“But you didn’t. She’s a different person.”

“Yeah.” Her voice was low. “A different person.”

Something about her tone set off alarm bells, but I couldn’t placewhy.

“I won’t make you hear about her if you don’t want to. Hell, you don’t even have to be friends with me if you don’t want to.”

“I want to be friends with you. I’ll take anything you give me.”

“I don’t know if I deserve that.”

A half smile was on her face. “You do.”

“I’m sorry. I feel terrible about . . . us getting closer while I’m not being open to dating.”

“You have nothing to apologize for. You really don’t. I’m just glad you hang out with me at all. That woman before . . . she was that special?”

“She was, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like you. If I’d met you first, then things could have been different. This feels natural, but going into something with you when I’m thinking of someone else isn’t fair.”

She slowly nodded, but she was still thinking about something.

I desperately wanted her to share it so I could say anything to make this better. She’d been kind to me from day one, letting me open up to her and even coming to meet my real dad. She’d done so much.

“Are you okay?”

“I will be,” she said. “I just need to think for a bit.”

“Okay,” I replied. “Take all the time you need.”

“Time is something I don’t have much of.”

We lapsed into a silence, broken only when she pulled up to her house.

“Have a good night, Rose.” She gave me one last sad smile before she got out of the car. I watched her until she walked through the front door. Then I sighed and got in the driver’s seat.

I didn’t pull away immediately, in case regret hit me. If it did, I’d go to the door and take it all back. I’d push past this thing with Lila and start something new with Rose, the woman whowasn’tthe tornado in my life.

The feeling never hit.

---