Page 40 of Surrender

The moment he turned to me with a smile and said, “Good morning, Tracy,” I knew this was going to be fine. He was the same old Ever. “I made you a power smoothie. There’s nothing weird in it, I promise.”

“Didn’t you make yourself one?”

“I already finished mine. Different recipe. More algae.”

“More, suggesting there’s some in this one?”

“Not as far as you know. Just try it.”

“I will, as long as crickets were in no way involved.”

“They weren’t.”

“Swear to me.”

He raised his hand. “I solemnly swear there’s nothing creepy in that smoothie.”

I took a cautious sip and said, “It’s not bad. It only tastes a little like lawn clippings.”

Ever grinned at me before turning his attention to cleaning the counter. “Coming from you, that’s high praise.”

A few minutes later, on our walk to the gym, I found myself asking, “Are we going to talk about last night, or are we going to pretend it never happened?”

“We can definitely talk about it if you want to.”

“I mean, we don’t have to…” Shit, now I was making it weird.

Fortunately, Ever was his same sweet, cheerful self, and he managed to smooth over my awkwardness. “I had a great time, and I’m down for round two whenever you are. Is there more to say than that?”

“No. I just…I wanted to make sure we’re still okay.” Ugh. Why couldn’t I shut up?

“We’re great. I think we work incredibly well as friends with benefits. I also think it’s smart that we’re putting a time limit on the benefits part of it. That way, there won’t be an awkward conversation or any misunderstandings waiting for us at the end of this. Once I move into my apartment, we’ll dial it back to a regular friendship, right?”

“Right.” I obviously hadn’t forgotten that, so I wasn’t sure why he was repeating it… unless he thought something might have changed for me after last night.

I was glad this awkward conversation ended when we arrived at the gym. Pete Howard was waiting for us, because he and Everhad made plans to film a short training video. The gym’s owner was a stoic Black man in his fifties, with a shaved head and what I’d started to think was a permanent scowl, but not even he was immune to Ever’s upbeat energy.

The gym was empty on the day after Thanksgiving. I could see why, since I was dragging. After I stashed my stuff in the locker room, I took a seat on one of the exercise bikes and started pedaling, as a way of easing myself into my workout.

My gaze drifted to Ever, who was at the opposite end of the gym. He and Pete were standing side by side, and Ever was holding his phone at arm’s length and talking to his followers. Pete laughed at something Ever said, and then both men turned their attention to the speed bag, so Pete could demonstrate his technique. I was glad Ever’s back was to me, so he wouldn’t see me staring at him.

I couldn’t help but grin as I thought about the night before. It had been incredibly hot—but it had been a lot more than that, too. It had made me feel safe, and cared for, and I couldn’t wait until the next time.

12

Ever

As I sat in my future office in the back corner of my building, I was supposed to be making some decisions on merchandise. Instead, I was thinking about Tracy.

Every night for the last two weeks, we’d gotten naked in the living room and enjoyed each other. The rest of the time, we were strictly hands-off.

Why the living room? Maybe because it was neutral territory, unlike his room or mine, and it didn’t lend itself to falling asleep together. We had our fun, and then we went our separate ways. By morning, we’d reset back to friends only.

It was an unusual arrangement, but it was working for us… more or less. Okay, so there were plenty of times when I wanted to grab him and kiss him and rip his clothes off, and times like now when he was all I could think of. But I had to get a grip. That wasn’t what we’d agreed to.

And really, it seemed like he was already giving me all he could. He let himself be vulnerable during our nightly romps, but he had definite limits. If we tried for more, I had a feeling it would end up scaring him away.

It startled me when a deep voice said, “Hey.” I looked up to see Tracy standing in the doorway. “You told me to drop by for a tour of your building when I finished my errands, but if this is a bad time?—”

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