Page 9 of Surrender

Everyone took a moment to process my story, and then Lark brushed his dark hair out of his big, brown eyes and said, “I can’t quite picture how one thing led to another.”

Embry got up and exclaimed, “I can show you! I tend to be a bit accident-prone, and it often leads to chain reactions like the one Tracy described.” His housemates nodded in agreement and sat back to watch the expert’s demonstration.

“Okay, so I’m Tracy, and you’re Dick McBit,” Embry told Vee, as he dropped to his knees in front of his housemate. “Here, hold this.” He handed Vee a baby carrot from the charcuterie board, and Vee grinned and held it up. “So, everything’s going great, when suddenly, McBit sneezes. AH-PLAH! Tracy’s so startled that he bites down.” Everyone flinched as Embry bit the baby carrot in half and chewed up what was in his mouth.

Then he continued, “So, McBit yells and doubles over from the pain, right? Double over, Vee.” They both leaned down, and Embry pantomimed the head-butt in slow motion. “Tracy jerks back and probably smacks into this guy’s forehead with the backof his skull. If it was directly in McBit’s face, he would have broken his nose. There wasn’t a lot of blood, was there Tracy?”

“Nope, no blood.” I was glad everyone’s attention was on Embry for now, instead of me.

“Good job not breaking his nose.” Embry gave me an enthusiastic thumbs up and went back to his demonstration. “So, they both jump up at the same time, and we know the coffee table is right behind Tracy, because of what happens next.”

He and Vee both stood up, and Embry bounced belly-to-belly off his housemate. Next, he pantomimed ripping off Vee’s shirt and bent backwards in slow motion, like he was starring inThe Matrix. He embellished it by flailing his arms and yelling, “Ahhhhhh!”

Once Embry was splayed out on the big, sturdy coffee table beside the snacks, Lark said, “Now I get it.” Then he turned to me with wide eyes. “Damn, Tracy, and now you have to live with this guy? That’s got to be embarrassing.”

Vee asked me, “What did your new roommate have to say about all of this?”

“He said he knew it was an accident, and we should start fresh.”

“It’s good Dick’s not being a dick about it,” he said, in all seriousness.

“His name’s not Dick. It’s Ever Daley.”

Vee looked shocked. “For real?”

I asked, “Do you know him?”

“If he’stheEver Daley, he’s famous,” Hal chimed in, as he tucked a strand of long, dark hair behind his ear. “I follow him on Instagram.”

Now it was my turn to look surprised. “What are the chances?”

“Pretty good, actually. He has millions of followers on social media. I started following him because I’m into fitness, and he’sa personal trainer who gives great advice.” Hal was a willowy former model who still worked out like his career depended on it.

Vee grinned. “I follow him for the eye candy.” He pulled his phone from his pocket, and after he scrolled for a few seconds, he turned the screen to me. “Is this him?” The photo was of my new roommate, smiling at the camera and holding his cat.

“Yeah, and that’s Phil, who seems to have some kind of skin condition.”

“Phil’s supposed to look like that,” Vee explained. “He’s half-Siamese and half-Sphynx. You know, those hairless cats?”

“Why do you know that?”

“Because Phil’s almost as famous as Ever. Well, not quite, but he does have over a million followers on Instagram.”

“Thecathas that many followers?” Vee nodded, and I asked, “Why?”

“Because he’s hilarious! Ever does this thing where he photographs Phil in super awesome settings, like at Hollywood parties surrounded by celebrities. The cat always looks annoyed, no matter what’s happening around him.”

Vee tapped the screen and handed me his phone, which was displaying Phil’s Instagram page. The most recent photo had been taken on the balcony of my apartment. Ever was smiling for the camera with the city’s skyline as a backdrop, and the cat in his arms looked thoroughly unimpressed.

Suddenly, Yolanda and JoJo were interested. JoJo asked, “Are you talking about Phil-the-gremlin? I follow him on three different social media platforms!”

While several people started talking excitedly about a celebrity cat, of all things, I handed the phone back to Vee and muttered, “This is completely nuts.”

Lark’s boyfriend Dylan, who tended to be the most serious and reserved of all the housemates, told me, “If it’s any consolation, I’ve never heard of this guy or his cat, either.”

Vee tapped the screen a few times. “You’re missing out, dude, because Tracy’s new roommate is freakishly hot. Check this out.” He panned his phone around, so everyone could see another picture of Ever. In this one, he was looking tan and sexy poolside at some tropical resort, wearing the smallest bathing suit I’d ever seen. It was little more than a neon yellow jock strap. I would have felt horribly exposed if I went out in public wearing something like that.

Embry snatched the camera and zoomed in. “Damn, he’s incredible. Are you going to try to get with him while he’s staying in your apartment, Tracy?”

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