Page 57 of Surrender

I followed him into the bedroom, which was done up in deeper shades of blue, from the walls and curtains to the linens on the king-sized bed. “Over there is what I’ve been dying to show you.” I pointed to the far end of the room.

Tracy walked over to the reading nook, which was right in front of the windows. An indigo blue recliner draped in a throw blanket sat beside a small table with a reading lamp. Floor-to-ceiling built-in shelves bracketed both sides of the space, linked together with low shelves under a bench seat that spanned the windows.

There was an envelope with a stick-on red bow on the chair, and I told him, “That’s for you.”

He opened the envelope and looked confused as he turned to me. “It’s a gift certificate to a bookstore.”

“I debated filling the shelves for you, but I thought you’d have more fun picking out books on your own.”

“So, this…”

“Is for you. The word I kept shooting for was cozy, and I’m not sure if I got there. I figure we can block it off with some free-standing shelves if you’d like it to feel more enclosed.”

“Why did you do all of this?”

“Because I want you to move in with me, Tracy. I know it might seem fast, but the thing is, we’re already living together, and I’m loving every minute of it. The only thing that would make it better would be sharing a bed every night.”

I looked around and added, “I get that this isn’t ideal. When it was just me, I thought it would be convenient to live where I work. But now that there’s more to my life than my job, I can see why it’d be better to fully leave work behind at the end of the day.”

Before he could say no, I explained, “I had my construction crew add a private entrance and a back staircase, so we can come and go from the apartment without having to cut through the rest of the building. But ultimately, I want to buy us a house. It’ll probably be a year or two before I can afford it, assuming the fitness center is a success. And yes, an argument could be made for staying in our current apartment until I can buy us something, but that place is Roger’s, and I’m hoping this will feel like home for both of us. Also?—”

Tracy grabbed my shoulders and cut me off with a kiss. Then he smiled at me and said, “The answer is yes. You don’t have to keep selling it.”

That made me smile, too. “Really? You’ll move in with me, even though I’m asking you to live above a gym?”

“This apartment is amazing, and I appreciate the fact that you went out of your way to make sure I’m comfortable here. But I’d live anywhere with you, Ever. I just want to be wherever you are.”

“That makes me so happy.”

I loved the fact that he was being so open with me, and he wasn’t done yet. Tracy tossed his messenger bag onto the bed, and as I drew him into my arms, he said, “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I want you to know I’m done holding back. I was always so afraid to be vulnerable, but I trust you, Ever, and I want you to know I’m all in.”

“So am I.”

After spending so much of my life being afraid of letting anyone get too close to me, this was surprisingly easy. About theonly thing I could compare it to was the time Jeff Judge, my most famous client, took me tandem skydiving for my thirty-fifth birthday. I’d been riddled with fear and anxiety ahead of time, but once we were up in the plane, all I had to do was take the leap. After that, it was effortless and exhilarating.

I felt a surge of joy as I kissed Tracy and he melted into me. We moved onto the bed, practically devouring each other and discarding our clothing until both of us were naked. After a while, he whispered, “I need you to fuck me.”

I sat up, so I could see his expression. “Are you sure?” I expected to see fear, and possibly some uncertainty, but all I saw was trust in his eyes.

“Positive. Please just go slow.”

“I will, I promise.” I cupped his cheek and told him, “I need you to promise me something, too.”

“What’s that?”

“Keep talking to me all through this. Tell me what you like, and what you don’t. I want to know how you’re feeling, and if you want to stop at any point, just say the word.”

“Okay.”

He opened the messenger bag and showed me the supplies he’d brought. He’d included condoms, but we’d both been tested and neither of us was going to sleep with anyone else, so we agreed they weren’t needed. He also mentioned he’d prepped himself ahead of time, and I thought all of that was a good sign. It told me he’d really thought about this, and that it wasn’t an impulsive decision.

I grabbed some lube and took my time working him open. I jerked him off at the same time, and I loved watching him relax and enjoy what was happening.

When he seemed ready, I worked some more lube into him, slicked my cock, and knelt between his spread legs. As my tip pressed against his hole, I cupped his cheek and whispered,“Breathe, baby.” He’d started to tense up, and it seemed like he was getting nervous. He met my gaze as I asked, “Want me to keep going?”

“Yes.” No hesitation.

I pushed into him slowly, while coaching him through it. He managed to relax enough to let me in, inch by inch, until my body was pressed against his. I held still to let him get used to it, and I told him, “You did it. You took all of me.” He looked relieved, but the way his brow was knit told me there was some discomfort involved.

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