Page 37 of Surrender

“I’d be happy to keep it going for a while,” I admitted, “but I don’t think we’re, um… sexually compatible.”

“Is that your shy way of saying you’re both tops?”

If that was our only problem, we could still find ways to have fun. The bigger issue was that we both wanted to be the one in charge. That was just who Ever was. I’d played at giving up control the night I went to his hotel room, and I could do that again, but it wasn’t something I was comfortable with on an ongoing basis. Given that, it was easy to imagine it turning into a power struggle and totally falling apart.

That was more than I wanted to share with Vee right then, so I mumbled, “Something like that,” and changed the subject. “We should go back inside. Ever’s probably looking for us.”

As soon as we returned to the party, someone immediately pulled Vee into a conversation, and I looked around. I grinnedwhen I spotted Ever on the far side of the room, chatting with JoJo and Yolanda. Then he caught sight of me, and his handsome face lit up in a smile as he gestured for me to join him.

When I reached him, he handed me a mug. “I thought you might be thirsty, and this hot apple cider smelled wonderful.” He was right. I thanked him and breathed in the comforting aroma of cloves and cinnamon as I took a sip.

It hadn’t escaped my attention that he’d been taking care of me all day, including loading my plate at dinner to make sure I ate. It wasn’t something I was used to, but it felt good.

When we got home a few minutes past midnight, Phil was waiting by the door. Ever tried to pet him, but he shunned us by turning his back and striding away, to make sure we knew how he felt about us being out all day.

Ever called after him, “I’m sorry, Phil,” before turning to me and saying, “Thank you for today. This was the best Thanksgiving ever.”

“What did you do last Thanksgiving?”

“I spent it in my office, going over the gym’s financial records.”

“That sounds lonely.”

“It was by choice. One of my colleagues had invited me to join him and his family for dinner, but I declined. It was one of the few days the gym was closed, so it was the perfect time to get things done without interruption.” He took off his jacket and draped it over his arm as he asked, “What did you do last Thanksgiving?”

“Same as this one, I worked at the shelter. Two senior staff members were running the show, and I helped out. It was fun to get to coordinate everything this year.”

“You knocked it out of the park. Seriously.”

“I tried my best. Now I have to think about ways to make Christmas special.”

“You’re working?”

I nodded. “I offered to cover both the overnight shift on Christmas Eve and to work on Christmas Day, so my coworkers can spend time with their families.”

“In that case, I’ll volunteer to work the same shifts.”

“You don’t have to do that. There’ll be a lot of parties and get-togethers on the holiday, and you might not want to miss those.”

“I’ll have a better time at the shelter with you and the kids—unless you don’t want me there.”

“No, I do.”

“Okay.” We stood in the foyer for a long moment, as if we weren’t quite sure what the other was going to do next. Finally, he said, “It’s been a long day, and you’re probably exhausted.”

To me, that meant he wanted to call it a day, so I nodded. We both said good night and went off in opposite directions.

Since I was feeling grubby, I took a shower before getting dressed in a tank top and pajama pants. Then I stretched out on top of the covers, put on my reading glasses, and opened an ebook on my phone. For the first time since he’d moved in, the cat didn’t join me. Apparently I was on his shit list too, along with Ever.

After reading the same paragraph four times, I placed the phone on my chest and touched my bottom lip. I couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss, and the way we’d both reacted to it. Like the first time, it had ignited instantly, like a match thrown into a pool of gasoline. In a matter of seconds, we both got completely turned on and wanted to rip each other’s clothes off.We probably would have, too, if we hadn’t been at our friends’ house.

It startled me when my phone vibrated on my chest. I picked it up and saw that Ever had sent me a message:You’re probably asleep, but I just keep thinking about that kiss.

I replied:I was doing the same thing.

He started writing something, paused, and began again. Finally, he wrote:Where do we go from here? I don’t think either of us is looking for a relationship, but there’s definitely something between us that needs to be explored.

I was glad I’d talked this through with Vee. It had helped me sort through how I felt about all of this, so it was fairly easy to come up with a game plan.I’d love to get a second chance at our failed hookup. After that, let’s see where we’re at. If we want to give being friends with benefits a try, I’m all for it, but I think we should agree on an end date. Maybe that should be the day you move into your new apartment. At that point, we’ll go back to being friends only, with no hard feelings and no explanations needed.

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