Page 36 of Surrender

11

Tracy

Even though we’d come close to kissing twice that week, I was still surprised when it finally happened. It was scorching hot and all-consuming, and it left me reeling.

Afterwards, my thoughts were scrambled. I mumbled something about getting back to the party to buy myself some time to get it together, and Ever followed me to the living room. When he asked where the bathroom was, I directed him to the second floor and looked around for a quiet corner to wait for his return.

Suddenly, Vee appeared and herded me out to the front porch. As soon as the front door closed behind us, he exclaimed, “Tell me everything!”

“What do you mean?”

“I went to the kitchen to get seconds of those amazing little pies you brought.” After a beat, he admitted, “Okay, it was actually thirds, but whatever. I happened to glance down the hall in the direction of JoJo and Yolanda’s bedroom, and what did I spot? Why, it was you and your hunky roommate, practicing for the world tongue wrestling championship! How long have you two been involved?”

“We’re not. That was our first kiss since our disastrous hookup earlier this year.”

“Oh, wow. Are you going to start dating?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Why not?”

“Lots of reasons.”

“Such as?”

“For one thing, we live together. How awkward would it be if we tried to date and it totally bombed?”

Vee looked skeptical. “Are you really afraid it might fail, or are you afraid it might succeed?”

“What does that mean?”

“You’ve always insisted you don’t want to be in a relationship. A lot of guys say the same thing, because they want to play the field. But in your case, I think the idea of getting close to someone scares you. It’d be a shame if you were letting fear get in the way of something great.”

“I’m not afraid of relationships,” I muttered. “I just would never want to hurt Ever, the way I hurt?—”

I cut myself off before the conversation got too emotional, but Vee finished my sentence for me. “Sawyer.” I nodded and shifted my gaze to the sidewalk, where a couple was walking a tiny chihuahua.

“You’re not that guy anymore, Tracy. I don’t know the whole story with you and Sawyer, but I do know it was a lifetime ago. I see so much pain and regret when you mention him. I know you think you screwed up?—”

“I don’tthinkI screwed up, I know that for a fact.”

“Okay, but we all have the ability to evolve, and grow, and learn from our mistakes. That’s what you’ve been doing ever since I’ve known you. When we met, you were totally closed off, but bit by bit you’ve been learning to let your guard down and open up.”

“I’m still a mess.”

“Well, who isn’t?” When I glanced at him, he said, “You have to let go of the past and learn to trust yourself, my friend.”

“You might be right, but even if I decided to give a relationship a try, I doubt Ever would want that. Pretty soon, he’s going to be putting every waking moment into launching his new business. He won’t have time for anything else.”

“Then what’s left for the two of you?”

“We could hook up.”

Vee perked up. “That’s something at least, and it could be awesome! Weeks of wild monkey sex, with the added convenience of your sex partner living under the same roof.”

“Actually, I think it might be a one-time thing, a do-over after that huge disaster back in February.”

Now he looked frustrated. “There’s the possibility of dick on tap with an incredibly hot guy for weeks on end, until he moves out and gets busy with his new business, and you only want to do it once?”

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