Page 33 of Surrender

I shifted some things around to make room for my blender on the counter. Then I started pulling things from the fridge one by one and adding them to my concoction before putting them right back.

When I finished blending up breakfast and handed him a glass, I noticed a smudge on his face. “There’s some flour on you,” I murmured, as I reached up to brush it away. Somehow, that touch turned into a caress.

What was it about Tracy that made me want to take care of him? Sometimes the feeling was overwhelming. So was the urge to kiss him. My gaze dropped to his full lips. What would he do ifI gave in to temptation? Would he respond, or pull away? Right now, he was frozen in place and watching me closely, waiting to see what I’d do.

Then his timer went off and jarred us out of the moment. I dropped my hand from his cheek and stepped back, and he glanced at me one more time before turning his attention to the oven.

It was the second time this week that I’d come close to kissing Tracy. Next time, I’d have to make sure there were no distractions.

The next several hours were hectic. Tracy had offered to work a twelve-hour shift so a couple of his coworkers could have the day off, and he was determined to make the day special for the shelter’s young residents. He served a delicious brunch, which included the fresh baked goods he’d brought, and he organized several games and activities throughout the day, before getting the residents involved in cooking. It was all capped off with a huge holiday feast in the late afternoon.

I looked around the table as we sat down to dinner. Even though they’d been through way too much in their young lives, I saw a lot of smiles and optimism on the faces of the fourteen beautiful souls who called this place home.

They looked like the living embodiment of the Pride flag. Half the residents wore their hair in bright, cheerful colors, including a few multicolored works of art they called mermaid hair. Most of them also wore vivid, tie-dyed T-shirts. They’d made them earlier that day, thanks to Tracy, who’d donated all the supplies.

He sat between me and the shelter’s newest resident, a shy eighteen-year-old named Joaquin. The boy always sought Tracy out, and I could see why. He probably identified with him, not just because they were both gay and Latino, but because they were two quiet introverts in a sea of loud, outgoing extroverts.

The food was being passed around family-style, but instead of moving in one direction, it was pure pandemonium. Everyone was talking at once, while platters and bowls came from not only the left and right, but zigzagged across the table.

Joaquin was too hesitant to take part, so Tracy made it his mission to intercept each and every item, which he then offered to the kid. Once Joaquin either turned it down or took a small helping, Tracy would pass the dish to the right and set his sights on the next item. He didn’t even think about taking any for himself, but fortunately, he kept passing everything to me.

I filled Tracy’s plate right along with mine, and he was so focused on helping the boy that he didn’t even notice—not until all the food had been distributed and everyone began to eat. When he saw his full plate, he grinned at me and said, “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

“The mashed potato volcano with gravy lava is a nice touch.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty proud of that.” I’d had a little time between dishes, so I’d used my fork to sculpt a tiny mountain.

“You’re always looking out for me.”

“I try.”

There was emotion in his eyes as he whispered, “It means a lot to me.”

I ran my knuckles along his jaw, and he reached up and caressed the back of my hand. Then we quickly turned our attention to dinner, and I glanced around the table. Fortunately, none of the residents had noticed our little moment. They wouldn’t have hesitated to tease us mercilessly, which wouldn’thave bothered me in the slightest, but it was easy to embarrass Tracy.

Later on, after way too much food and dessert, the residents helped with clean-up before moving to the rec room to watch movies. “You did a great job today,” I told Tracy, as I took a sponge from his hand. He was still trying to clean things that didn’t need cleaning. “Everyone loved all those baked goods, and the tie-dye craft project was a big hit. I’m also impressed by the way you orchestrated dinner and managed to get everyone involved, even the shy kids who usually hang back.”

He leaned against the edge of the kitchen counter and pushed his dark hair off of his forehead. “I wanted it to be special for them. Holidays can be painful, but hopefully they made some new, happy memories today.”

“I’m sure they did.”

Darwin and his fiancé Josh arrived a few minutes later. After we exchanged greetings, I asked, “How did you two end up with the overnight shift?”

“We volunteered,” Darwin said. “We celebrated Thanksgiving here in town with Josh’s family, so it was no problem coming in afterwards.”

I’d always been impressed by this young couple. Both boys were in college, and Josh volunteered at the shelter twice a week. Meanwhile, Darwin had gone from volunteering to taking a staff position, then getting promoted to volunteer coordinator. On top of that, they were deeply committed to each other and had been together for years. I admired them for having so much figured out at such a young age.

Josh adjusted his glasses and said, “It was pure pandemonium at my great-grandmother’s house. How’d everything go here?”

Tracy muttered, “Fine,” as he zipped up his dark blue hoodie.

When he didn’t elaborate, I chimed in with, “It was wonderful. Tracy brought in a ton of delicious, homemade baked goods for brunch and dessert, which were a huge hit. He also brought fabric dyes and T-shirts for all the residents, and they had a blast tie-dying them. Then he got everyone involved in cooking dinner and cleaning up afterwards. It could have been chaos, but he kept it incredibly well-organized.”

“Wow, that’s amazing.” Darwin looked impressed.

I nodded. “It was, and we all had a great time, thanks to Tracy. He was a total rock star.”

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