Page 24 of Surrender

It wasn’t just that we lived in the same apartment and went to the gym together every morning. He’d also started volunteering at the shelter where I worked, four days a week, because he had so much time on his hands. On top of that, he’d totally bonded with Vee and his housemates and had become a regular fixture at Sunday dinner.

I didn’t begrudge him any of this. He was trying to put down roots in a new city, and at first, I’d been the only person he knew. No wonder he’d woven himself into every part of my life.

It was tough though, living in his orbit while the crush I had on him grew stronger every day. I’d really only admitted it to myself the night at the club. Unfortunately, I’d admitted it to him too that same night, but he’d probably written it off as random drunken bullshit.

I kept reminding myself I only needed to keep a lid on it for a few more weeks, just until he moved into his own apartment and was no longer a constant source of temptation.

And that was the biggest reason of all for wanting to keep Ever at arm’s length—he was going to leave. All too soon, he was going to move into his new apartment and get extremely busy with his multi-million-dollar fitness center, and he’d forget all about me. If I got attached to him, I’d just end up getting hurt. Why go down that path, when I knew exactly where it led?

And why was I thinking about all of this now, while I was trying to work out? As usual, Ever had accompanied me to the gym, which was overrun with people in spandex wanting things from him. I tried to concentrate on my routine, but I kept finding myself looking to see where he was and what he was doing.

Of course, what he was doing was being incredibly sweet and kind. A group of four little old gay men in their seventies had joined the gym specifically to meet Ever, and he was showing them how to use some of the equipment. They spent more time ogling him than paying attention, but if he noticed, he was very gracious about it.

Eventually, he managed to break away and begin his own workout. He asked me to spot him as he loaded up a massive barbell, and as I took my position at the top of the bench, I said, “Pete Howard should be paying you a consulting fee. You spend more time coaching his customers than his staff does.”

“It’s the least I can do. My fitness center will probably pull customers from every gym in town, including this one, which was already hanging on by a thread. I’d hate to drive someplace this special out of business, so if there’s anything I can do to help, I’m all for it.”

“Is your fitness center going to have a boxing ring?”

“I was thinking about including one, but no. I’d rather send people here if that’s what they’re looking for.”

“Why are you so enamored with this gym?”

“You just don’t find places like it anymore. It feels like stepping back in time, in the best possible sense.”

“It’s odd to me that you’re so into it, since you’re building something that’s its exact opposite.”

He shrugged. “Look at it like this. In automotive terms, my gym would be a sleek, modern supercar, and this place would be an extremely cool retro muscle car. They might be completelydifferent, but I can love and appreciate both for what they are.” That analogy actually made sense to me.

When he took his position, flat on his back with his legs straddling the weight bench, my gaze went straight to his big thighs and the obvious bulge in his form-fitting red shorts. Fucking hell, I needed to get a grip.

I made sure to concentrate when he started lifting that impressively heavy weight. Once he finished his reps, he asked if I wanted to trade places, and I nodded.

We removed sixty pounds from the barbell, and I got into position on the bench. Ever took his place at the top of my head and grinned as he told me, “You did a real number on your hair when you wiped your face.”

His touch seemed surprisingly intimate as he smoothed my hair off my forehead. I looked up at him, and when we made eye contact, both of us became very still.

For a few seconds, everything was quiet. I forgot where we were, or that other people existed in the world. It felt like we were both holding our breath, waiting for something to happen.

In the next instant, a phone rang nearby, someone loudly answered the call, and reality came rushing back to us. I grabbed the barbell with both hands and tried to think about anything besides Ever’s proximity.

After we finished working out, we jogged home, showered, and changed. Then he drove us to the shelter, which was located in a beautiful, vintage former firehouse.

About three hours into my shift, Ever had finished the exercise class he conducted for anyone who was interested, andall of the residents had gone out for the day. That just left him and me in the building.

I was in the ground floor rec room—an open, cheerful space with clusters of colorful furniture, a wall of shelves stuffed with books and games, and a TV with two different gaming systems. It was the Monday before Thanksgiving, and we’d just received a donation of several boxes of fall decorations. They’d been used at a wedding reception over the weekend, and the bride’s family had decided to bring them here now that they were done with them. The shelter had a lot of support from the community, and interesting things were always showing up.

I’d started dotting mini pumpkins around the room when Ever joined me and asked if he could help. I handed him a wreath, and he immediately put it on like a crown and went to turn on some music. He almost always had something playing, and not surprisingly, today he went with his favorite band. As Cheap Trick’s “Dream Police” came to us in surround sound through the rec room’s built-in speakers, he began to shake his hips to the music.

I secretly admired how unselfconscious he was. The same couldn’t be said for me, though. When he danced over to me and stuck a wreath on my head, I immediately tried to take it off. He caught my hand, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief as he told me, “You should leave it on. It suits you.”

“I doubt that.”

“It does! It makes you look like a Roman emperor.”

“Because that’s clearly the goal.”

“Before you take it off, take a picture with me,” he said. “I promise not to post it.”

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