“Oh,” Tripp said, and he sounded disappointed, maybe even slightly angry, flushing a little and scratching at the back of his neck. He gave a small shrug. “Yeah, I guess we should’ve discussed that or something first. What, you’re going to tell me that made you uncomfortable?”
“Quite the opposite,” Leander assured him, reaching out to brush fingers over his thigh. “I always enjoy having you as my sub. And to be frank, I enjoyed watching you be so at easeoutside of the bedroom. You seemed…content, even though you were essentially acting as a service sub.”
Tripp shrugged again, a small thing that barely disturbed his shoulder as his fingers fidgeted with the folds of the bedsheets pooled around his hips. “I like taking care of you,” he admitted quietly.
“Some of the tasks I gave you were gross,” Leander noted. “Stripping and washing all of our soiled linens, cleaning the toys we used by hand. I can’t imagine you enjoyed that.”
“Life is gross,” Tripp retorted. “And I enjoyed it because it was for you. I knew it would make you happy or whatever. I didn’t even think about—” Tripp stopped talking abruptly and snapped his mouth shut, dipping his chin to glare down his nose at Leander. “Not cool,” he grumbled, waving a finger in Leander’s smirking direction. “Andnotthe same, either.”
“Isn’t it?” Leander pressed, scooting forward on his chair to grab Tripp’s accusatory hand and cup it between his own while Tripp scowled. “Even if you werejustmy sub, it would be well within our relationship constructandmy own ideals for me to care for you in your time of need. If you would allow it, of course. However,” Leander paused, licking his lips and squeezing Tripp’s hand for emphasis. “It is my understanding that you are no longerjustmy sub.”
“Yeah,” Tripp replied breathily, staring down at the sheets before chancing a glance up and meeting Leander’s earnest gaze. “Guess not.”
“It’s not weird to care for someone you love,” Leander added, only when he felt sure he was receiving Tripp’s full and undivided attention. The resulting pink that spread down over his freckled neck and under the edges of his hospital gown was softer than his embarrassed flush, and entirely too rewarding.“Please don’t be angry with me for wanting to take care of you. You have no idea how hard it was to just—tosithere and be useless to you.”
“Lee,” Tripp said with a sigh, head dropping back against his pillow. “I’m not pissed at you, alright? I’m just…” He waved his free, albeit casted, hand around in the air, presumably gesturing to his current situation as a whole. “I’m having the opposite fuckin’ problem, and it sucks.”
“Agreed,” Leander said easily, squeezing the hand he’s holding again. “So how about this. Ipromiseto ensure that I do everything within my power to keep you independent once we’re home. Whatever that may entail. We’ll make modifications to the bathroom, the bedroom. We’ll have occupational therapy get you every device and aid known to man, so that you can do as many activities as possible without requiring outside assistance. We’ll work together, and if there is something you absolutely cannot stand to have me help you with, we’ll figure a way around it.”
Tripp was back to picking at his blanket, but he did look relieved. “I just—Lee, I don’t want you to see me differently. When I’m all healed up and blowing you in the shower, I don’t want you flashing back on washing my ass in a shower chair meant for eighty year olds in nursing homes.”
Now,thatremark came as a surprise. Caught off guard, Leander laughed loudly and Tripp startled. While he did feel somewhat bad for laughing, the idea was just— “Ludicrous,” Leander said simply, with a shrug of his own. As Tripp opened his mouth to protest, Leander waved him off.
“Listen. You know that I am…not like other people. I process things differently, am frequently too logical, too blunt, too literal. In this particular situation, those things happen to work in your favor. I will never see you differently because ofsome physical limitation, or because you let yourself be weak in front of me. I just do not operate that way, Tripp. It’s not something you have to worry about. I can try and reassure you more, if you like, but I’m hoping you’ll trust me.”
From beneath his lashes, Tripp was still looking at him skeptically, so Leander kissed the back of his hand and gave it a pat. “You know, sometimes I think that I was built to love you,” he said casually, tracing the patterns imprinted on Tripp’s skin, the remnants of superficial burns that were nearly all healed. “It’s as if I was programmed to be one thing, one way, and then you came along and—”
Leander looked up, finding emerald green eyes already staring back, wide and unflinching. “Things that never made sense to me suddenly clicked. I amhappyloving you, Tripp. Caring for each other’s bodies is justpartof that, but this is no different to me than what we do in the playroom, because it’s what you need. Perhaps that doesn’t make any sense to you, but there it is.”
Suspiciously quiet for a moment, Tripp broke the heavy silence in the room by saying, “Alright, well, just so long as you don’t develop some kind of diaper-play kink. That shit is still a hard no on my list.”
“Noted,” Leander replied with a smile, as he leaned back in his chair.
Surprisingly, though, Tripp isn’t finished. “Thing is,” he started. “I dunno if I can afford all that stuff, Lee. I mean, our insurance is decent, but we still have like, a fifty percent co-pay on D.M.E. So, you know. Your idea is great in theory, but buddy, I’m still waiting to hear how much rent I’m gonna owe before I can eventhinkabout that. Place like yours…”
From his chair, Leander just rolled his eyes, having tried and failed (multiple times by that point) to convince Tripp that moving in didn’t automatically mean having to split expenses. Still, he should have known better than to be surprised when Tripp wanted to try and insist on doing that very thing.
“We don’t need to do this right now.”
“I think we do,” Tripp challenged, sitting up a little straighter and attempting to cross his arms over his chest before remembering he had a cast on. Leander watched with one eyebrow lifted as Tripp struggled to wiggle into a comfortable, yet intimidating position, waiting him out. “You’re obviously rolling in cash, dude. If I’m gonna come and be your kept boy—” Leander snorted. “—or whatever, I should at least get to know who’s bankrolling my sugar daddy.”
Tripp raised his own eyebrows pointedly, the unbelievable brat, and therefore, it was Leander’s turn to scowl.
“Don’t be crass, Tripp.”
“Then just tell me, Lee, c’mon. We’re—we’re like, building a life together here, man. Aren’t we? I mean, I’m not reading this wrong, am I? You love me, I love you, we’re moving in together. You’re talking about wiping my ass for me and saying you don’t even care if I pay rent—shit, Lee, that’s more than my own old man ever did for me.”
The smug look disappeared from Tripp’s face, his confrontational attitude bleeding away the more he talked, and Leander was in the wrong, completely. He knew it. Tripp deserved better than Leander’s usual avoidance of all things personal. Despite that, he couldn’t help teasing Tripp, just a little.
“For someone who supposedly hates the idea, you seemingly can’t stop bringing up the ass-wiping—”
“Lee!” Tripp snapped, exasperated, snatching a crumpled straw wrapper from his overbed table and chucking it at Leander’s head. “Start talking or I’m gonna call Beau and tell him I changed my mind on giving him his life back. Then he’ll be my designated ass-wiper and the two of us will stay living together in that crummy apartment until we’re old and gray and Briana divorces him, and it’ll be all your fault.”
“That is one polluted stream of thought,” Leander remarked as Tripp threw up his hands. “Fine,” he added quietly. “I’m rich.”
“Yeah, no duh, Lee,” Tripp replied sarcastically and Leander closed his mouth, folded his arms across his chest, and raised an eyebrow at Tripp, who almost immediately shrunk down into his bedding.
“Do you want to hear what I have to say, or not?”