Page 10 of Fire & Ice

When Leander relaxes down next to him and pulls the covers up over their bodies, Tripp doesn’t think twice about accepting the invitation into his open arms.

This is dangerous,the single brain cell still operating in his head warns, but Tripp can’t bring himself to care. Dangerous, but also exactly what he signed up for. Lee, warm and real, keeping him safe in the circle of his arms—however risky, it would take a much stronger man than Tripp to reject an offering like that.

So he stays, and they sleep.

Chapter 2

Leander dreams in color. Bright, startling technicolor that bursts into life behind closed eyelids and sucks him down into his deepest, wildest, most desperately secret fantasies. Unlike out in the real world, these fantasies aren’t headlining a potent mix of sex and pain, dominance and submission. They aren’t a manifestation of Leander’s clawing attempts to keep hold of his sanity by wresting control of something—someone—in the bedroom.

No, these dreams are interminably soft, featuring one thing, and one thing only.

Green eyes. Freckles. Strong arms and a gentle smile, both wrapping Leander up in their warmth and carrying him away. In Leander’s dreams, the entire universe comes to an end and rebuilds from scratch—over and over, millennia upon millennia reduced to stardust and light, imploding and exploding, collapsing in on itself before rushing outwards once again, all on endless repeat. Theonlyconstant, theonlything that matters in any of it, is that he and Tripp are together, always together.

In Leander’s dreams, he can be honest. He can admit that he’s in love with his best friend, because in these dreams,Tripploves him back. He holds Leander’s hand in public, rests a casual arm around his shoulder as they wait in line at the movies, offers to switch dinner plates when his order comes out looking likeexactlywhat Leander didn’t realize he was hungry for.

Most importantly, hesaysso. He puts his lips next to Leander’s ear and whispers his affection softly, every chance he gets. He yells it across crowded rooms, wanting everyone to hear. In Leander’s dreams, everything is perfect.

Especially tonight. Tonight, the fantasies are so vivid, he can smell the natural scent of Tripp’s skin, the cologne he wears over it, and even the faint traces of spicy deodorant and silicone-based gel in his hair. It’s not just smell, either—his brain had decided that he canfeelTripp, too. Shifting in his arms, nuzzling into the hollow of his neck, pressing their bodies together completely from cheek to toe. Warmth and devotion flow freely between them, a perfectly synchronous pair. Like a key that fits a lock Leander didn’t even know he wanted to open.

It translates to one of the best nights of sleep Leander has ever experienced, and an unprecedented mindfuck when he opens his eyes and Tripp is actually there.

Abruptly wide awake, Leander shoves himself away from the other man so quickly that he nearly tumbles backward off the bed. Heavy sleeper that Tripp is, he barely notices, snorting a little and rolling over to snuffle into the pillow beneath his head. Leander sits stock still up by the headboard, barely breathing and with his legs curled underneath him, one hand fisted in his hair and the other in his mouth. His teeth create imprints on his index finger as he copes with a wave of shock and shame.

It’s not until Tripp is safely snoring away again that Leander allows himself to begin to relax and to try and regain his bearings.

The truth is, he’s not ready to see or interact with Tripp this morning, not yet. Not with his face still flushing red and his mind rushing like a mountain river in spring, overflowing with images from a night full of dreams likethat.

There’s some kind of irony here, Leander’s sure of it.Mostpeople feel embarrassment over boner-inducing, X-rated, pornographic dreams accidentally starring their best friends, but not Leander, he lives those outright. No,hehas to beashamed overromance.His mother always claimed he came off the assembly line with a crack; she’d be so proud to know how truly committed he remains to breaking the mold.

His plight might be funny, if it wasn’t so damn lonely and confusing.

Regardless of all that, though, it’s been a long time since Leander shared a bed with someone in this particular way. True, Tripp wasn’t wrong when he pointed out that they’ve slept together previously—but that was different. Two platonic friends, passing out fully-clothed on top of the blankets after polishing off an entire bottle of whiskey is afarcry from curling up naked together after one of their dicks was buried in the other’s ass.

And that’ssolelyconsidering his experiences withTripp.

The only other person Leander’s shared a bed with inthisway was Autumn, and doing so led directly to their undoing. Blurring the lines between aftercare and affection, Autumn could never properly separate the two, not in the way Leander wanted. Maybe that was unfair, buthecouldn’t control the fact that he never developed feelings for her beyond the physical. It didn’t mean that she wasn’t a valuable friend, that he didn’t care immensely about her well-being, but Leander just couldn’t make himself fall in love.

Can anyone?

Now, here he is, making the same mistakes but in the reverse.Thatis ironic—he knows that for sure. Perhaps this is karma, perhaps it’s what Leander deserves after being so careless with Autumn's heart. Here he is, finally able to understand exactly what she was feeling, and it’s because he’s opening the door to have his own heart broken in precisely the same, terrible way.

Idiot,Leander chastises himself. He rubs both hands across his face before bracing them carefully on the side of the bed and standing up. The mattress barely moves (and Leander sends up a quick thank-you to whoever might be listening from above for that) before tip-toeing across the space on silent feet. As he moves, he skirts away from any floorboards that he knows will creak, easily making it out of the room without disturbing Tripp’s slumber.

Inside the attached bathroom, Leander slumps against the door with a sigh of relief, grateful for the reprieve and the moment of privacy. In truth, there’s nothing he wants more than to crawl back into bed beside Tripp and his warmth. To wrap arms around his slim waist and pull him close, to wake him with soft kisses to the back of his neck and a gentle hand cupping his cock.

Like lovers, Leander thinks. Like two people who might be falling in love.

He can’t do that, of course, and those inappropriate thoughts and desires he’s projecting onto Tripp are precisely the reason why. It’s harder tothink,to remember those boundaries when Tripp is lying next to him, looking tragically innocent and peaceful in his sleep. So soft, so beautiful and perfect, willing to lay in Leander’s arms and—oh,hell.He hasgotto get his shit together.

In retrospect, the smartest thing Leander could possibly have done upon waking was precisely what he did: book it the hell out of that room before Tripp woke up.Boundaries and limits,Leander reiterates to himself. If he wants to keep this new dynamic with Tripp, hehasto respect the fact that the man is not interested in a romantic relationship with him. That was made perfectly clear when they talked the night before their scene. It’s not as if Leander didn’t lay his cards on the table—after Autumn, how could he not? That’s just not a mistake you want to make twice.

But Tripp seemed to retreat emotionally when Leander spoke about how he struggled to connect with Autumn, how he never developed romantic feelings for her, how he longed for someone who understood, who he could finally be on the same level with. It’s true that there are times when Tripp looks at him a certain way, when he says various things and Leander wonders if he wasn’t clearenough,if perhaps Trippdidn’tget the memo, but ultimately, that’s wishful thinking and he knows it.

Hehasto stop holding out hope that Tripp will somehow magically develop feelings for him, because that mindset will only get them both hurt.

At the end of the day,this—this beautiful dominant and submissive relationship that Tripp, by some miracle, has consented to—is what he gets. Staying with Tripp last night was the right thing to do, of course. Risking drop isn’t worth it for either of them, but from here on out, Leander will have to be more careful. Tripp can stay over and sleep in the playroom bed whenever he likes, and Leander will just make it a point to relocate to his own room, once his sub has recovered and fallen asleep.

That is, if Tripp evenwantsto continue their new relationship going forward, something Leander can’t assume. All the more reason for him to be happy and grateful for whatever Tripp is willing to offer to begin with.

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