Page 118 of Fire & Ice

This, this hand-in-hand, “tackling it together” thing? This makes sense. Whatdoesn’tmake sense is how Leander feels, standing here, waiting.

Truthfully, had someone been willing to take the bet, Leander would have put money on Tripp being the nervous one. Whenever he pictured this moment, it was with Tripp jittering out of his skin and Leander stepping briefly into Dom-mode to calm him back down.

But that isn’t the case.

Beside him, Tripp is the very picture of strength and calm. He’s been wearing the same serene,happysmile nearly constantly since they woke up this morning, and nothing seems to faze him in the least. Dressed in his perfectly-fitting tux with his hair neatly coiffed, he stands quietly with Leander’s hand clutched firmly in his own, just waiting, patient as can be.

Leander can hardly believe his own eyes. Tripp’s foot doesn’t tap, his fingers don’t pick, his teeth don’t chew at his cheek and worry his bottom lip. Even with his collar around his wrist—tucked safely beneath his dress shirt—he’s entirelyun-Tripp-like, and Leander isn’t entirely certain that he shouldn’t be offended.

After all,he’sa nervous damn wreck. So much so, that it’s a wonder his palm doesn’t slide right out of Tripp’s from all the sweat.

Very sexy, very not repulsive. Exactly what you want from your fiancé on your wedding day.

“Relax, sweetheart,” Tripp murmurs.

“How can I?” Leander huffs, yanking his hand away and folding his arms across his chest. The fabric of his tux jacket doesn’t stretch very well, and standing this way is disagreeable. Still, Leander persists, because not only is he irritated, but he has apointto make to hisirrationally calmalmost-husband. “This is only one of the biggest moments in our entire lives. You were more nervous the day we picked out pie flavors for the reception!”

“Yeah, well, pie is life, Lee.”

With a snort, Leander turns away, wondering what the hell is up with the delay in their music. The sooner they can get this over with, the sooner Leander can take Tripp into a closet and ensure that he leaves uncomfortable enough to avoid sittingfor the remainder of the evening. Serves him right for being so damn cavalier.

Alright, that’s probably not the attitude he should be going into this with, but—oh.

A sudden, incredibly distressing realization brings Leander up short, and he’s glad that he’s facing the wall so that Tripp can’t see his face.Fuck. Oh, fuck.As his breath quickens and his heart speeds up in his chest, Leander is forced to deal with the increasingly unavoidable awareness thatheis theTrippin this situation, today.

He hates it.

For all the time he’s spent reassuring Tripp that anxiety and vulnerability are not weaknesses, that there isno shamein needing external support and an outlet, Leander has always prided himself on his ability to keep his shit together. On the way his cool head effortlessly prevails in a crisis, and how he never allows hisemotionsto rule his behavior, no matter how intense they might be or how tempting it may feel to lash out.

And yet, here he is, on their wedding day, not onlydoingthat very thing but failing to even recognize it.

An apology is on the tip of his tongue when Leander turns back around, but Tripp isrightthere, smiling that goofy, calm smile and stepping into Leander’s space like he’s entirely sure of his welcome. Despite his knee-jerk desire to grumble and pull away, to lean into the discomfort he feels, Leanderknows—rationally,anyway—that this is fear talking, and that the only way out is through.

So when Tripp cups his face, leans in and presses soft, comforting lips to his, Leander allows himself to relax into him.

“You’re being stupid,” Tripp says, right against his mouth, and Leander doesn’t argue.

“The question is, why are younotbeing stupid?” he retorts. “I’m appropriately anxious to the situation and you—”

“—Have wanted to marry you for way longer than I let on,” Tripp admits easily, sliding an arm around Leander’s waist and pulling him in close, swaying them both gently back and forth. “Sorry, Lee,” he adds with a little laugh and a shrug before trailing more kisses over Leander’s jaw. “I ain’t scared at all about tying myself to you. You know, all of my worst nightmares, back when we were running circles around each other? Every single one of them was about losing you. About what I’d have left when you were gone, when you decided it was time to move on.”

“You never told me,” Leander says softly, moving his grip on Tripp from his hips to his back and holding on tight. He drops his face to Tripp’s shoulder and lets himself continue to be swayed.

Tripp hums thoughtfully in his ear. “Yeah, well, telling you now.” He pauses, taking a deep breath that Leander can feel against his own chest.

“I’m not scared,” Tripp repeats. “Because I know that you love me. I know we’re going to continue building an awesome life together. Why the hell would I be scared? And on that note, I ain’t worried about your nerves, either. You do whatever you need to do, feel your wrong fucking feelings, rock out with whatever silly shit you’re gonna do. Just…walk down that aisle with me anyway, okay? Fucking come home with me tonight and let me—let me keep loving you, Lee. Alright?”

Tucked up against Tripp’s shoulder, Leander blinks back tears, even as a little laugh escapes his mouth. “Of course, Tripp,” he says softly. “There was never any question of that.”

“I know,” Tripp replies, roughly pressing another kiss to the top of his head and clearing his throat. “Yeah, I know.”

Just beyond their private little space, the music starts, and to Leander’s surprise, he actually feels a lot better. Tripp pulls back, holding him at arm’s length by both shoulders and eyeing him with concern.

“You good?” he asks, before gesturing to the closed door. “‘Cause I can—”

“I’m good,” Leander assures him, to Tripp’s obvious relief. He offers his hand again, and Tripp takes it, his smile even wider than before.

Their ceremony feels anticlimactic, after that. Of course, they go through the motions, exchanging their engagement rings as wedding bands after Lawrence bestows the blessing. It’s lovely, but as far as Leander’s concerned, Tripp was right, in more ways than one. They’re already as married as it gets, there’s nothing tobenervous about here.

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