Page 92 of Fire & Ice

The paralyzing fear gripping Tripp’s chest starts to subside, and he nods, though his teeth still chatter away in the cold.

“Also, fair warning, Beau is here. He’s in the rig, setting up. You’ll be in good hands.”

Tripp raises his eyebrows to protest but Leander just shrugs, reading him easily. “It’s not like any of us were going to opt out of treating you voluntarily. They didn’t have any luck keeping me away, and they won’t have any with Beau.”

Doing his best to relax, Tripp stares up at the starlit sky, trying not to worry that he’s about to be put to sleep only to never wake again. After what he just went through, that’s maybe themostterrifying news he could possibly have received. But Lee is right—if Tripp is going to put his life in anyone’s hands, he couldn’t ask for better options, even if they’re both secretly as scared as he is.

The stars disappear, replaced first by hazy, ambient flashing red and white lights, and then the ceiling of theambulance as Tripp is loaded inside. Beau's face materializes upside down in front of him, and Tripp does his best to smile weakly, though his tight, wheezy breathing is really taking its toll.

“Don’t talk,” Beau says immediately, grabbing Tripp’s hand. “One for yes, two for no.” Tripp nods. “Lee told you we’re going to put you under, protect your airway?”

One squeeze.

“Kay,” Beau nods. “Just until the swelling goes down. I’ll be with you the whole time, the ICU nurses are going tohatemy guts. I’ll make sure you’re sedated, that you’re not in pain. We’ll pull the tube just as soon as it’s safe, I promise. Tripp, I promise. We’re going to get you through this. You with me?”

One squeeze.

To Tripp’s left, Leander’s wrapped a tourniquet around his bicep and is poking around the inside of his elbow, looking for a place to start an IV. When Tripp catches his eye, he winks and slides the sixteen-gauge in like butter, before Tripp can even react. With practiced hands, he retracts the needle and adds a saline lock, tapes it down, and starts running some fluid that’s already primed and hanging from the ceiling. Next to him on the bench seat are a neat row of syringes and vials that Beau must have set up, but Leander doesn’t touch any of them yet.

Beau taps a thumb against the side of his hand. “Before I put you out, does anything hurt?”

One squeeze.

“His left leg,” Leander interrupts. “Left arm. Anything else?”

One squeeze.

“Alright, let’s do this.” Beau passes Tripp’s hand off to Leander and then starts running both of his own over Tripp’s body, moving quickly from the top of his head to his toes. “Squeeze Lee's fingers when I touch something that hurts.” As Beau works his way down, Tripp does as he’s told, almost forgetting to do so at one point because he’s busy staring into Leander’s eyes, and isn’tthatfucking ridiculous?

Down by Tripp’s feet, the doors slam shut and the ambulance rumbles into high idle as Marley prepares to navigate them away from the scene.

“Hey there, big boy,” Zosia’s voice declares brightly, and Tripp has never been happier to see her smiling face when she appears above him. Someone in this friggin’ truck should benotclosely related to or in love with him, that seems like a smart move. He waves tiredly, and coughs as a greeting.

Beside him, Leander glances at the cardiac monitor Tripp’s now hooked up to, and even Tripp can understand the threat of his dropping oxygen level—eighty-two percent and holding, not great. When he holds his free arm up towards the light, the tips of his fingers look dusky, and it’s not from soot. Leander catches him looking and squeezes his hand.

“It’s time,” he says, and when Tripp opens his mouth to try and reply, to do something stupid like say his final goodbyes, Leander knocks his oxygen mask out of the way just to clamp a hand over his mouth. “Don’t you dare,” he warns, stern and fierce, even though his eyes are shining. “Tell me again when you’re better.”

Against Leander’s palm, Tripp coughs avidly until he removes it, swiftly replacing the mask. Above him, Beau and Zosia switch places, Beau taking his spot at Tripp’s head, presumably because he’s the guy that’s going to actually stick the piece of plastic down Tripp’s throat. Now there’s aheartwarming, brotherly moment if Tripp’s ever seen one. He snorts a little at the thought and promptly regrets it when his airway burns.

Glancing to the side again, Tripp notes that Leander is busy triple-checking his syringes and dosages, and so he takes advantage. He grabs Beau's arm, tugging it away from where he’s messing around in the airway kit.

“Beau,” he says, and everyone protests, but Tripp holds up a finger and they very reluctantly fall silent. “I love Lee,” he says croakily but with a big grin, pleased that even now, he’s managed to thwart Leander’s rules.

“Jesus Christ, Tripp,” Beau breathes, rolling his eyes and covering Tripp’s face with a bag-valve mask that spews oxygen forcefully. “Weknow.Lee, put him out.”

Lee's smile is the last thing Tripp remembers seeing before he slips under. What a way to go.

***

Leander

Watching Tripp’s eyes flutter closed as the first sedative hits his veins is one of the hardest things Leander has ever had to do, never mindcause.He feels Zosia’s reassuring hand on his shoulder, very nearly allowing himself to shut his own eyes and lean into it for strength.

The world spins madly on.

“Zosia, cricoid pressure,” Beau instructs, and Zosia’s hand disappears as she complies. She leans over to press gently but firmly on the cartilage rings in Tripp’s throat, compressing his esophagus to tilt the trachea and make it easier for Beau to visualize sliding a tube between the vocal cords.

Beau doesn’t pre-ventilate using the bag-valve-mask he’s holding, just lets the high-flow oxygen do its thing, since Tripp is still breathing on his own. While he’s not practiced working in a bumpy, swaying ambulance like this, the procedure is still something Beau has clearly done hundreds of times, and Leander isgladhe’s here.Soglad, otherwise he’d have to use his own brain, and that’s—well, Leander’s brain is not one hundred percent online at the current moment.

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