Page 33 of Under Her Skin

I can feel it, the building. My muscles start to spasm and tense with the impending climax. As the peak comes into sight, Cal leans back, face dripping wet. “I want to be inside of you.”

He crawls up my body, grinding his hard cock over my clit, making a moan slip from both of us. Leaning down, he takes my mouth as he slides inside of me. I taste myself as I suck his tongue deep into my mouth. It heightens my desire as Cal slowly tortures us both. He slips inside of me, inch by delicious inch. I wrap my legs around him, groaning as skin hits skin.

Cal pauses. Taking in the moment, I squirm as he stares down at me. A slither of fear creeps over me. In the next moment, he flips us both on the bed, until I’m staring down athiminstead, still fully seated on his hard length.

Neat trick.

“Ava, sweet, you control this.” Staring at me, he gives over the control, knowing I might trickle into my past. I nod and rock my hips, the sensation sends goosebumps across my skin.

My need crawls to the forefront. My fear dissipates with each rock of my hips. Letting my body do what it needs, I shut off my mind and thoughts and justenjoy. I start rocking faster, but I need more. Shifting so my feet are planted by his hips, I start bouncing. My tits jiggle with the motion, Cal’s eyes watching the movement. Finally, he reaches out to start pinching my nipples. Each sharp pinch sends a tingle of pleasure to my clit and slowly winds me up more and more.

Moaning loudly as I climb further and further into the clouds of desire and want, I rock, bounce and swivel my hips, hitting all the spots inside of me. Fucking hell, it all feelssogood but I need more, so much damn more.

Cal grips my hips and thrusts into me as I continue to ride him. I feel him tapping my cervix with each thrust, making me hungrier and hungrier to fall over that edge. But it’sstillnot enough.

Fuck it, I know what I need. Taking a huge breath, I reach over to the nightstand and grab it.

I hand it to Cal. “Please, Ineedit.” I’m a damn mess, tears of frustration build and build. A sob flies out. I can’t reach my peak without it. I have to have the pain mixed with my pleasure.

He stops thrusting, reaching for it. “Ava, if we do this, you are giving me the control … All of it.” Raising a brow, he waits for my consent. Rotating my hips in small circles, I nod.

He slams me onto my back against the mattress and drives into me with so much force that I slide back. It feels so good. He reaches forward, collaring my throat, squeezing it, letting me know he is in control. Ramming into me again and again, sending moans of echoing pleasure about the room, my eyes slide shut as the rapture builds and builds.

Feeling the cold metal slide against my collar, I arch my back, waiting for the freeing feeling of the blade slicing my scarred skin causing a stinging pleasure. The tip punctures just below my collar bone, stopping just as quickly as it starts. My eyes pop open. He was waiting for me, staring into his heavy blissed out eyes. I feel the blade slide to the top of my belly button.

I moan as the sting feeds the rapture of this moment. Cal slices two marks on my inner thighs. He squeezes my throat and pulls me to lean on my elbows. “Look,” he growls at me. I watch as my blood glides down my thighs. The crimson smears against him and me, mixing together. The sight causes my body to spasm.

Feeling how close I am, he takes the tip of the knife, placing it right against my clit. If I grind up to meet his thrusts, it will slice. It's hot. So fucking hot. It drives me further and further towards release and the sight sends Cal over the edge as his thrust hits hard, diving deeper. Placing the cold flat edge of the blade against my clit, he presses down and drives into me again. I cum screaming his name.

Cal slumps down on me. I take his full weight and love it. Running my hands up and down his back, feeling the sweat from our activities and the strength from carrying the world on them, I know there is no place I’d rather be than right here.

Sliding off me, Cal wraps me in his arms, kissing my forehead as I drift off to a nightmare-less slumber with butterflies in my stomach and happy thoughts filling my head.

Waking with the need to pee, I roll out from under his heavy arm. Taking care of business, I step back into the room, leaning against the doorframe. I stare at Cal. He is laid out on his back, arms stretching out searching for me in his sleep. He is always searching for me, keeping me steady and moving forward.

I know here and now that our future is whatever we can make of it. Looking back will only sink us, and with so much in front of us, we need to be looking towards the horizon.

Quietly, I slip back into bed beside him. Immediately, he curls around me, so protective, even deep in slumber. With the knowledge that Cal is at my back, I fall into a restful sleep with a smile on my face and hope in my heart.

29

AVA

Sitting on the porch drinking coffee, gazing at the beauty in abundance surrounding me, I sip, taking it in and reflecting on how I got here. Cal brought me home, to his hometown - the place that formed him, the place his mom raised him and later died. We have been here over a month and it's exactly what I needed. If I am honest with myself, Cal thought this would be another layer to us healing.

And he was right.

Cal and I took trips daily to different parts of the city. He showed me all the important parts of him. He told me about the grim nightmare his father had created for his mother and him, the high school where so many poor decisions were made, and so much more. The place he found his solitude, the place that helped him build his strength. The longer we stayed, the more relaxed I had became, and the more free I felt. Cal’s hometown was the balm to my soul, each moment gave me a glimpse into who Cal was and why he is the way he is today.

He surprised me with this trip. He packed everything up, put the luggage into the truck, and woke me up. We had breakfast and then bam… He placed a gift bag in front of me after the table was cleared.

Gifts were exciting. I still had a nervous edge about them, but this is Cal and he wouldn’t do anything that would harm my strides in healing.

I was correct. It was a thick spiral bound sketch pad with a variety of mediums: charcoal, colored pencils, watercolor pencils and a few others that would allow for any image to come to life off the pages. I remember being stunned by the gift when he quickly stated: “We are all packed up and this is for the trip. I thought it would let you capture the things you see or the images that need to slip from you onto the page.” Shrugging, he walked off, leaving me sitting there, mouth agape.

Grabbing a drink and the gift bag since everything, my purse included, was already waiting for us in the truck, I stalked after him. I was having a fit and that was okay. I learned that I could express any emotion, have any outburst, and Cal would love and support me, no issue.

Climbing in the truck, I slammed the door shut. I swear I saw his shoulders shaking with silent laughter. Narrowing my eyes at him, I huff. I wasn’t ready for this. I didn’t know what this trip would be. I would be away from the safety of this house. Cal would be there, sure, but was it enough?

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