Page 84 of Kiss and Make Love

“Hi there. I’m Joe. Nice to meet you,” he said, a pleasant timbre to his voice.

“Hi, Joe. I’m Megan. I like dogs, hiking, and adding books to free little libraries.”

“I also like dogs, as well as swimming, fixing up old cars, and deep-frying food.”

Okay. Not a terrible start. I could give this guy a chance. “What type of cars do you work on? Vintage ones or old beaters or…?”

“Well, technically, my dad fixes up the cars, and I watch. It’s perfect because he works in the garage, and I do my deep frying on the driveway.” He sniffed and cleared his throat.

“That’s…cool. You deep fry often?” I didn’t like where this was going.

“Only every day!” The pitch of his voice went up as excitement took over. “Did you know you can deep fry almost any food? I’ve done turkeys, cookies, ice cream, ham, a complete BLT sandwich, a…”

Date Number Two kept listing food items, and I shut off my brain. He and Date Number One were proving me right and my sister wrong.

Speed dating just wasn’t for me, especially if these were the kinds of guys I was going to meet. Maybe it was the wholein the darkaspect of this whole thing that gave them the confidence to just come right out with their weird quirks? Either way, this wasn’t shaping up to be a promising evening.

“…pickles, and then I got a heavy-duty deep fryer for my forty-second birthday, and let me tell you, this thing could deep fry a Bernese Mountain dog! Not that I’d ever do that or anything. But I did try deep frying a leg of lamb once, and…”

At least I didn’t have to feign interest and nod along with a smile on my face. Score one point for the whole dark schtick.

“I just moved back to Halifax, actually.” The woman sitting next to me explained to her date. She was much more interesting than Mr. Deep Fry. “I spent some time up in the North teaching and finally came back home after eight years in Beaver Creek.”

I’d always wanted to travel to the North. See Yellowknife or Whitehorse. Experience the all-day darkness they get up there.

“I’ve been getting settled, doing some hiking and kayaking to get reacquainted with the area. It’s been nice, but lonely,” she told Mr. Douche Canoe, who promptly told her he could fix her loneliness.

“Do you like it?” My date’s voice asked, snapping me out of my eavesdropping session.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch that. Do I like what?”

“Deep-fried food—do you like it?” His voice was so full of hope, it almost made me feel bad for zoning out. Almost.

“I don’t,” I admitted. “I’m more of a regular food kind of gal.”

He let out a breath full of disappointment. “Well then, I’m sorry to say this won’t work out between us.”

Ding!

“That’s too bad, Joe. But good luck finding someone.”

“Same to you, Megan.”

I heard him rise from his chair before the escort was even at our table to help guide him to his next date.

The pleasant woman next to me would have to listen to his deep-fried monologue. I should spare her.

As soon as the escort grabbed Mr. Deep Fry, I leaned over so the woman could hear me better. “Pssst. Hey. Next guy is obsessed with deep frying. If you’re not, just tell him right out of the gate.”

She laughed. “I hate fried foods. Thanks for the heads-up. Hopefully, number three is better for you.”

“Small pool to pick from, it seems,” I sighed.

“Tell me about it. I’ve been back in town for four months and hoping to connect with someone, but it’s just been so difficult and?—”

“Hey, I’m Phil. How’s it going?” Date Number Three asked me.

“Talk after,” I whispered to her before turning my attention to Phil. “Hi, Phil. I’m Megan.”

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