But was it just that part of her that constantly wanted to please her mother and be a good little goddess of Olympus?
She opened her eyes and frowned at the rippling surface of the water and her knees as they breached it, studying that feeling and chasing the threads of it, trying to find the answer to that question. She had spent the centuries of her life doing what others wanted or expected of her. And then her mother had announced her betrothal and finally something within her had rebelled, but not really. She had simply spent more and more time at her haven, hiding away in it rather than confronting her mother or standing up for herself.
Instead of putting her foot down, and putting an end to her mother’s controlling ways, she had made feeble attempts to change her mother’s mind.
And when that hadn’t worked, she had run away rather than staying to fight.
She skimmed her fingers over the water, watching the ripples that followed their wake, and shook her head. She had been weak. She had been weak her entire life. She looked around her at the cold black walls of her tower and sighed.
And then she had met Hades.
He ignited something within her, a strength she hadn’t known she possessed. Rather than fearing him as she felt she should, she had found her courage. Her fire. For the first time in her life, she was standing up for herself, and it was with someone who should have been far more terrifying than her mother, or scared her more than anything.
But he didn’t.
He snapped and snarled, and grew tremendously dark at times, as if he was the embodiment of it, and in response to his outbursts and his anger, and that wicked light that entered his eyes, she felt emboldened. More courageous. And when he grew too dark and she felt he might go too far, and might even regret his actions as he had when he had cut her, and she whispered his name…
She felt empowered.
Stronger than she had ever felt.
She felt that for the first time in her dreary life, someone heard her. Someone noticed her. Someonewantedher.
That gave her pause and she frowned at the surface of the water. Hadn’t she decided that Hades only wanted her because he was using her to get to his brother or strike a blow at Olympus? The more she studied the feeling blooming inside her, the more she pushed back down the negativity that had flooded her and coloured her view, and the more she replayed how Hades behaved around her—how he responded to her—the stronger she felt she was wrong about him.Again. She let out a frustrated sound as she completed the circle he had her constantly treading, finding herself back at the start where she felt sure he truly wanted her.
Someone in this world wanted her.
Not just to possess her or elevate themselves in Olympian society. Not to strike a blow at Olympus. Try as she might to convince herself to believe that was his plan, it wouldn’t stick. She would have to be blind not to see the way he had looked at her at times, revealing something to her, something she felt sure he didn’t want her to see.
He wanted her because he needed her. He desired her. He had looked as if his very happiness hinged upon the things she said or did, and when she had been too harsh in some foolish attempt to protect her heart, he had looked wounded.
It was thrilling.
Life-altering.
Her view of the world was no longer the same. If Hades took her back to Olympus tonight, she wouldn’t be able to return to who she had been. Her home there would feel more like a prison than this tower.
She sighed.
And she might foolishly miss the god-king of the Underworld.
“Would he miss me?” she whispered, a sorrow welling inside her despite the fact she knew he would never let her go. She shook her head. “I am too swept up in him.”
It was dangerous.
“Mother would think me mad.” She chuckled and toyed with the water. “Wanting such a male… Do I truly desire him? Is he truly so wicked and evil?”
She didn’t think he was. She looked at the room again, seeing beyond the walls to the forbidding black lands where there was no light. No life. Only death. Zeus had all but banished him here. She knew that much about his life. He had been given the Underworld and the duties that came with it, responsible for the souls of the dead and guiding them to their afterlife. He had been here since long before she had been born. She could only imagine what being in the Underworld for millennia had done to him.
He had a strong bond with this grim realm.
“If he is evil, then it is this place that made him so.” She leaned her head back against the wall of the beaten gold tub and her brow furrowed. “But I have seen light in him. Flickers of it. He loves that terrifying beast as if it is… his pet. It is his pet. I was right about that.”
She’d had a cat once, when she had been young, and she had loved it with all her heart, but one day her mother had ordered it gone from the house and her heart had broken. She had screamed, and begged, and sobbed. Her mother had taken her only companion away despite her protests and how upset she was.
Persephone smiled. “I have the feeling that if someone tried to take Hades’s pet away, he might destroy them.”
Her smile faltered.