Page 22 of Surge of Fire

Some guy taking the spot I belong in.

“Sam, please…”

“Tell me the truth,” she demands.

The words come out before I can stop them. “I’ve only ever slept with forgettable women. I’ve never once been with a woman who mattered to me. Someone I could imagine a future with. All they’ve ever been are people to scratch an itch.” It’s the truth, as terrible as it sounds.

“Asshole!” she shouts angrily, then shoves me, although I’m already against the wall. “Then why can you do it but I can’t?” Now, she sounds broken-hearted.

“Sam, you can’t do it because–” Because if she did, it would destroy me. It would rip my heart out, and I’d never come back from it. I’d spend the rest of my life dying slowly.

“Because why?” She sounds on the verge of tears, and I hate myself. I never want to be the reason she cries.

“Because I can’t handle it. Okay? Can’t that be enough?” I’m shaking, trying not to lose control.

“Handle it?” she asks, seeming confused.

I need to end this. Now, before I say something I can’t take back. “It’s late. I’m drunk. Can we both agree that I’m an asshole and just let this go?”

She says nothing, just stares at me.

It’d be so easy to lean down. So easy to taste her lips and see if she’s as sweet as I always imagined. I bet her mouth is soft too, and that her lips would be red and swollen after I kissed her.

Maybe that’s the answer. Just to stop pretending. To stop living in this hell.

“When we were kids, you could be an asshole too. Remember how you convinced me that that squirrel had rabies?” she asks, her tone softer.

She’d been feeding some damn squirrel, hoping to make it her pet. Her parents had never let her get a dog or a cat, so she thought she could tame it into sleeping in her bed and doing tricks. But that thing probably did have rabies. Either way, it was a bad idea that her gentle heart couldn’t see.

I smile, remembering that day. “You’re welcome.”

She pushes me a little, but not with the anger she had before. “Hewas sweet, you just didn’t see it.”

“You thought everything was sweet. Squirrels, rabbits, snakes, bats, even freaking raccoons.”

She actually laughs. “You should be glad. If I had better taste, I wouldn’t be friends with you.”

Instinctually, I sweep her into a hug, breathing in her delicious scent when I do. “I’m glad your taste sucks.”

She laughs again. But then, after a minute, she says, “But, Aydan?” Her words are innocent, a shift from our bantering.

“Yeah?” My heart hammers.What could she have to say now?

“I meant it when I said that I'm an adult. I won’t be controlled.” She pulls away from my hug, but keeps talking. “I’ve dated some major assholes, but never guys who were controlling. I won’t deal with that in a friend either.”

My body tenses. “You’ve dated some assholes?”How is it that I haven’t heard about this?

She gives a little head shake. “That wasn’t my point, but yeah.”

A chill rolls down my spine, and something dark and sinister breathes to life inside of me. “Tell me about them.”

She sighs and catches my arm. “Youhaveto be exhausted from spending your whole evening being controlling and idiotic. Let’s get you into bed.”

I’m not going to forget to ask about the asshole guys she’s dated. Granger and I will have to go on a little road trip on our way back to college, hunt those guys down, and beat them within an inch of their lives.

But, for now, I’ll just let this beautiful woman walk me home.

NINE

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